


Just Friends

by crescentsteel



Series: Just Friends [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friends With Benefits, Lemon, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, Reader-Insert, Sex, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Smut, Third Gym (Haikyuu!!)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:01:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 61,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26694949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crescentsteel/pseuds/crescentsteel
Summary: You are friends with Kuroo. Friends with benefits that is. You like the set-up, but you end up getting more than what you bargain for.
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Reader
Series: Just Friends [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2106450
Comments: 83
Kudos: 322





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This is my first attempt in writing. Bear with me please.

You are on the way to a bar after a long day. You decide for today that you would go to the busiest bar in the area. You were not a regular here cause you find it too crowded, but for tonight, that’s exactly what you were looking for. You wanted to get a bit messed and just let loose a little.

Not that you were stressed in any way. Life has been good to you, you acknowledge that.Your parents are loaded so you live in comfort. They pay for your condo unit and your university, which you luckily passed the admission test to. Aside from your parents being wealthy, you also have a side job that pays well for minimal work. If you think about it, your life might be kind of perfect. You do have your own circle of friends, but you’re the kind of person who likes to unwind alone once in a while.

You came straight to the bar after a long meeting with your group for your Earth Science subject. It is almost 9pm so you thought it was best to head straight instead of going home to change. You put on your red lipstick to avoid looking pale.

You go inside and find it crowded already. It’s Friday after all. Most of them are students since the bar is located near all big universities in Tokyo. You head straight to the bartender.

You just can’t wait to get buzzed and you know the drink to do it.

“Two shots of tequila, please” You smiled at the bartender.

Minutes were passing quickly. The music turned livelier as it got late. After your two tequila shots, you had cocktails to slow things down. You feel the drinks you had course through your body.

You make your way to the dance floor with your drink in your hand. You tipsily excused yourself, said hi to strangers you bumped, and found your way to a spot you like.

You were just grooving to the music while taking a sip once in a while to keep the buzz going.

You were oblivious to some men who were eyeing you since you came in and were just waiting for their chance to approach you, and right now seems the perfect time.

Although you don’t notice, Kuroo does.

He’s sober enough to see these stupid men looking at you. He’ll bet they think they could just waltz in next to you just because you were having your time alone with your drink on the dance floor.

Even though you had been talking to people at the bar now and then, he could tell you came by yourself.

He had been observing you all night since you got there. You seem like the carefree type. You’re wearing casual clothes, too casual for a bar, to be honest. Shirt and skinny jeans. Despite the simplicity, your legs look amazing the way your jeans fit you. You do not seem the type to go there to get laid. Though you seemed a bit flirtatious with some people you talked with, you brushed them off when they started getting too close to you.

Then, he sees someone squeeze his way near you and touch your waist. That was Kuroo's cue. He walks toward you quickly.

As he's approaching, you notice that someone is touching your waist and pulls you close to whoever the fuck they are. You remove their hands and put some distance. The guy does not seem fazed. He tries again, pissing you off this time.

“Hey buddy. Hands off!” Kuroo heard you say while forcefully taking the guy’s hands off you.

The guy looks irritated, clearly drunk.

He arrives at the right time. He puts his hand on your left shoulder and looks down on the guy.  
“Is there a problem here?” his voice is laced with threat. There was nothing the guy could do, especially when he’s towering over him with his height and built.

The guy walks away. He turns to you and leans down since he's significantly taller than you. He says right in your ear, “You should know that there’s a lot of eyes on you here.”

You squint your eyes and look around as if you were surveying the area. ‘How cute’, he thought. He doubts you could see much from the amount of alcohol you had and the neon lights in the place.

You look at him, studying his face. And he studies you as well. You look way prettier up close as the details of your face become clear.

You extend the drink you had to him, probably asking him to drink.

He raises his eyebrow.

“I’ve already had enough drinks tonight.” He refused while smiling politely. He doesn’t want to get drunk around you, not that he has trouble holding his liquor. He just wants to enjoy your company sober.

It’s you who raise your eyebrow this time.

You start tapping the glass of your drink, then pouts.

“Well that’s too bad. I won’t dance with someone who’s not drinking with me.”

‘Challenge’ clearly written on your face.

He couldn’t help but smile. If that was the condition, he gladly obliges. He grabs the drink in your hand and takes a sip.  
You laugh and smile, looking victorious. You have no idea that it was him who felt victorious. You gave him the consent to be with you. Before he returns your drink to you, he looks at the smug face of the guy who approached you earlier. He raises your drink to him and nods.

‘You ass, I win.’ he says to himself and smirks. Then, returns your drink.

The dance you share is innocent. You are just vibing with each other and moving to the beat of the music. He finds himself laughing when you are laughing for no reason. It was such a fun mood. Your energy is contagious.

“What was your name again?” you half-shouted because it was so loud and you didn't want to tiptoe just to reach his ears.

“Kuroo Tetsurou” he shouted back.

“y/n!” You shake his hand clumsily.

“Okaaaay, I’m going to get drinks for usss.” Your words started to slur. You turn around and trip. He figures you were about to hit your drinking limit. He stops you from getting another drink and drags you to a table with not much people so you could catch your breath.

“I think you’ve had too much.” He wouldn’t want you to go all out and start throwing up.

You frown. “But I want to go back there. I still want to dance.”

“Then let’s dance here.” he suggested. You beam at him like a kid and nod.

He positions himself at your back.

You close your eyes. You raise your arms and feel the slow sway of the music.

He touches your hands that were raised in the air. He slowly caresses them, down to your arms, sides, then stopping at your waist. He presses his body closer. He could inhale your scent. He could feel your slender body as his hands droop to your hips. He could feel your ass pressed to his groin.

You don’t stop moving to the sway of the music. His hands go back to your waist and grip it so he could match your movements.

This was not the dance floor and people might be looking at you both, but he didn’t care. He was in his own world right now. You might now know it but you were grinding to him as you both move in sync. He noticed you getting lost in the moment as well as you lean your head to the side, giving him access to your neck - a chance he will not miss. He dips in and gives you butterfly kisses from the back of your ear to the part of your shoulder that was not covered by your shirt.

“Mmmm”

It was almost inaudible but being so near you, he heard it. The sound goes straight to his dick which is now getting stuffed in his pants from the friction and subtle pleasure this “dance” is giving him.

You feel the shift of the energy between you two. The fun was gone. You can feel the strong sensuality engulfing you two. You can feel the alcohol in your head combined with something else, something that you feel in your chest, core, and thighs.

You can feel his stiffness on your lower back. It was not just you. When you felt his lips on your neck, you couldn’t help the soft moan that came out from your lips.

This was too much for you. You need to take control of the situation again. You will not go with the direction this is going. You came here to get loose, but not this kind of loose.

You turn around and face him. You grab the hem of his shirt near his neck to pull him down so you can whisper in his ear. “So, Kuroo. Is this the game you play? Play prince charming to save the damsel in distress?”

He chuckles. He combs his hair and sighs. He holds your chin and moves closer to your face. Way closer. “Oh kitten, I’m no prince charming.” He smiles as he looks at you innocently.

“In fact,” He shot a quick glance at his side. “I’m worse than those guys,” referring to the guy who tried to feel you up earlier. His smile is gone, which reveals his true nature - dangerous. You can’t breathe from the sexual tension between you two. You release his shirt and look away. You try to step back to give the two of you some space.

He quickly holds your wrist and pulls you closer to him before you could even move away.

He smirks. “You’re not afraid now, are you?”

His gaze travels from your eyes to your lips, and you do the same. The lips that were just in your neck earlier - how would it feel if those lips meet yours.

“Kiss me,” he commanded softly.

The look in his eyes is obvious. He wants you. There is no escaping from this. You want this as well. You put your hands on his shoulder and tiptoe to kiss him. You feel him smile against your lips.

You pull away and say “What?”

“Been wanting to do that for a while now.” His eyes sporting a sly glint on them. He quickly pulls you back to him and kisses you again. You wrap your arms around his neck as response. You feel his tongue brush your bottom lip and bite it gently right after. His hands travel from your back to your ass. His lips move to your neck once again and licks your earlobe. That elicited a moan from you.

“Get a room!!”

You snap back to reality. You put your hands to his chest to stop him while looking somewhere else. It was not like you to make out in public, even if it was a bar. You feel so embarrassed to be called out like that.

“My place or yours?” he asked.

You look up at him. Are you really going with him? You’re no prude. You’ve engaged in casual flings before, but something about him is different from other guys you’ve slept with. You’re not sure what it is yet, but it piques your curiosity.

To hell with it. You’ll just enjoy tonight and find out for yourself.

“Yours.”

He grabs your hand and leads you outside.

“Let’s wait for a cab” he said.

“Umm. I brought my car. Can you drive? I’m sure I can’t.”

You toss him the keys which he catches easily. You walk towards where you parked your car but your head starts to spin. The drinks you’ve had are catching up to you. You try to feel if there’s anything to support you. Only he was there.

“Come here.” You feel your feet lift up from the ground. Your hands flew to his neck for support.

“What are you doing?!” You try to put some strength in your voice, but it only sounded pained.

“I’m making you sure you don’t hurt yourself. I still have plans for us tonight, you know.”

He looked serious with what he just said. You feel the heat spread on your face. You bury your face on his neck to hide it.

“So where is your car?”

“Just unlock it and look for it.”

He clicks the unlock button and follows the sound. He whistles when he sees your car.

“Damn. Nice ride.”

They always say that about your car, but you do not have the energy to respond at the moment. You just want the comfort of being seated.

He opens the car door while still carrying you and gently puts you down. He reclines the seat a bit and closes the door. You shut your eyes. He goes to the driver’s seat. He adjusts the seat for him and starts the engine.

“Are you sure you want me to be driving this?” He says while feeling the steering wheel.

“Hand me my water first.” He immediately finds your tumblr at the door pocket and gives it to you. You drink so greedily, impatient to the relief the water should give you in a few minutes.

You feel his stare at you, but you don’t care. You just want the spinning to stop.

You put the bottle down. “Yes, you can drive the stupid car.” The car starts moving. Fortunately, you don’t feel like puking from the motion.

“Are you sure you want to go to a stranger’s place?”

“Do you want me to kick you out right now?”

The corner of his lip tugs. He looks like he’s enjoying himself.

“I’d rather be in a stranger’s place than have a stranger in my place” you added.

He frowns but he doesn’t answer.

After a short while, you feel the car stop.

You’re in a park.

“There’s something I want to do before I take you to my place,” he moved closer to you. “I think I want to mess you up here first.” Before you can complain, he closes the gap between you two.

The slow sexual push and pull you two exhibited in the bar was broken by him, aggressively causing havoc in your body. He immediately sticks his tongue in your mouth. He puts his hand on the back of your head and his other one roams on your body. You pull away to catch your breath. He moves to your seat and towers over you, making it feel cramped because he's so big.

He reclines your seat more so you were almost lying down. That gives him the space to move.

His lips go straight to your throat. He sucks it fervidly while his hand slips beneath your shirt. He cups your breast as soon as his hand finds it. You arch your body in response. He hitches your shirt up just on top of your breasts.

He kisses you again as his hand wanders on your back, trying to find the clasp of your bra. He groans in frustration. “Where the fuck is it?”

You giggle. “It’s right here.” you slowly undo the clasp of your bra from the front. It feels like you were giving him a show. Despite feeling a bit shy, you hold his gaze. His fingers caress your face, your neck, then down to your stomach. Then he trails back up to the skin surrounding your nipple.

You feel absolutely nothing but anticipation. You want him to touch you there, but he’s deliberately avoiding it. Both his hands settle on your hips. He kisses the hollow between your breasts and licks his way down to your stomach. Soon, his tongue replaces what his finger was doing. You can’t take it anymore.

“Kuroo..” he looks at you.

“Please,” it sounded almost like a whine

He smirks, but only for a moment. Finally, you got what you wanted. His tongue sucks on your hardened nipple while his hand toys with the other.

“Mmmmmm”

You are so turned on that you start to squirm underneath him. It was not enough. You need more.

“Patience, kitten. You will feel good soon, kay?”

He covers your lips with his own. Your tongue against his as he unzips your pants. You begin to get impatient so you help him to hasten things up, but he stops completely. Even if you remove your pants, the strength of his grip on it is way stronger than yours.

“What did I say?”

You don’t respond. You don’t know how to. You feel so embarrassed, yet greedy for more at the same time. His hands go to your crotch with your pants still in the way, yet the contact still gives you pleasure. He palms you over your pants which makes you jerk up.

He continues to remove your pants. Though he does not completely remove it, he pulls it to your ankles. He goes back to sucking your nipples while caressing your hips and thighs.

“Just how much more before this teasing is over?” you asked weakly.

He goes face to face with you. He rests his elbow beside your head and says,

“Until I want it to be over,” he pinches your nipple. “I will make a mess of you right here since you don’t want me in your place” he pinches harder. You close your eyes at the slight pain and pleasure he gives you.

You don’t know what to do. You want something, anything, to fill you up. But he’s not giving it to you. You suddenly feel a warm sensation on your thigh. You open your eyes and see him sucking on it. He’s trailing his fingers up and down your hips while he sucks and licks on your inner thighs.

If the teasing before wasn’t hell enough, this sure was. You can feel his wet tongue so close, unbearably close to your slit. Just like he did with your nipples, he swirls his way around but never on it. You want to buck your hips so you can feel the sensation you want, but his hands ground you to your seat when you try to. Even just his fingers would do, but still, you’re not getting those either. You can feel yourself throbbing down there. You begin to feel desperate. You want it so bad. You’ve never wanted it this bad. Tears were starting to well up at the corners of your eyes.

You fist his hair which made him look up at you.

“Kuroo please. I-I really can’t take it anymore.”

He stops and hovers over you again. He brushes the strands of hair away from your face and kisses you softly. You grip his shoulders. You feel like melting. It was so gentle. You feel your body relax. His middle finger slowly, very slowly traces your slit, stopping at your clit. He lingers there, stroking it very gently.

He pulls away from the kiss.

“Should I put it in, y.n?” It wasn’t a permission for consent. He just wants to hear it from you that you want it. You absent-mindedly nod.

He shakes his head. “Tsk tsk. That won’t do, kitten.”

He pinches your nipple again.

“Hnnnnng”

“Let’s try again. Should I use my fingers now to fuck you?”

That’s when you figure it out. He makes you lose control, something no one else has made you do. You’re used to men who are willing to do whatever you say just so they can have you in any way. You’re not used to this, and the alcohol in your system is making it harder for you to handle. You’ve never been this needy.

“Yes please” your voice throaty.

He leisurely inserts his finger. You bite your lip as you feel the length penetrate you. He stares at you, as if watching how you’d react to him. You feel a bit self-conscious so you look away. His finger thrust slowly in you. Then, he puts a second finger in. Your mouth gapes from the stretch in your warm center.

The pace of his fingers quicken. He is now pressing his thumb against your clit in circles while his fingers curl up while thrusting in you. You can’t do anything but close your eyes and savor the pleasure.

You can feel it. You feel the build up in your groin. You suddenly feel his mouth suck on your nipples, one after the other. Your body arched up. Just one more push, and you know that you will get the release you’ve been chasing after.

He suddenly grabs your waist, pulling you closer to him. His fingers slow down, but does not stop.

“y.n” you open your eyes. “I want you to look at me when you cum.”

You’re about to protest, but his fingers start to move fast again. This feels so good. How can you not close your eyes? You feel your eyes shutting.

He stops completely again.

“This is the last warning you get, kitten.” He’s smiling, but there was an edge on his voice.

“I will make you cum and you will look at me when you do so, understand?” his fingers moving again, but too slowly for your liking. You nod helplessly. You want to cum so bad.

He pumps his fingers in and out of you much faster than earlier. His thumb going frantic on your clit makes you writhe under him. He goes on, not losing his rhythm. It isn’t long until you feel yourself climbing up your peak.

“I-I’m…ahhh.. Kuroo” you clutch his shoulders tighter, looking only at him. You barely recognize your voice. “Can I cum now?” your voice was desperate. You saw something flicker in his eyes, but, you don’t have the energy to read on it. You just want your release.

“Cum, y.n”

With that, you crash back down with your orgasm taking over your body. There was no stopping your eye from clamping shut this time. Your body thrashes wildly as you feel the pleasure spread from your center to the tips of your fingers and toes. You feel dizzy both from the rapture of your climax and intoxication.

He does not say anything and lets you ride your high. He sucks on your shoulder while slowing down his fingers.

He looks at your post-orgasm state. You look so spent, so beautiful. Your hair is disheveled. Your top is still hitched above your chest which is heaving as you take deep breaths. Your lips are a tad apart since you were breathing through your mouth as well. He regrets stopping in this spot. He wanted to eat you out but his back hurt real bad when he went down on you before. He should’ve brought you straight home. There, he can do whatever he wants with you. His idiotic, petty self got the best of him when you said that you do not want him in your place. If you don’t want to be fucked in your place, he thought at least your car would do.

Looking at you now, he realized that he was so stupid. His place or yours, he will still fuck you senseless. When you asked him if you could cum, it was hell. He got a kick out of how you made him in charge of your orgasm. You were so hot and submissive. It drove him wild. He really would’ve fucked you then, but the constraints of your car wouldn’t let him do what he pleases.

He sighs. Now he suffers with the painful erection he has in his pants.

You open your eyes and look at him.

“Hey. Can you fix my clothes? I can’t ughh.. anymore” your voice was weak and tired.

He pulls up your pants and fixes your shirt. He also fixes your seat. You grab your tumbler and chug it. Then, you close your eyes again.

“Umm. So where to?” he asked, praying that you don’t change your mind. He’ll probably smack himself if you suddenly want to go home now.

“Weren’t we going to your place?” You don’t bother to open your eyes as you speak. “Just wake me up when we’re there.”

He smiles triumphantly and drives away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> word count: 3290 
> 
> A/N: Accccckk, writing smut was much harder than I expected. At some point, I just wanted to write ‘they had sex and it was nice’. But I love a good smut like y’all.

He stops the car and shakes you a bit, causing you to wake up from your light sleep.  
You examine the area with half-lidded eyes. You wear your jacket and step out.

He quickly follows.

He glances at your car. His neighborhood isn’t shady. It’s a decent one, but your car stood out like a sore thumb.

“This looks way out of place here.”

You face his direction. You’re a few steps away from him, so he could see your whole frame. He has to take a moment to capture the entirety of your features. Your hands are in the pockets of your jacket. Your hair is a mess. Your cheeks are flushed. You have faint pink marks on the side and below your lip, probably your smudged lipstick earlier which faded. Your eyes look a bit hazy.

You are mesmerizing. It’s effortless. You’re just standing there, oblivious to how you look.

“Huh?”

He snaps back from his thoughts.

“Aren’t you worried about your car?”

You shrug.

“You’re the one who parked it there.” You say that as if he should take responsibility if something happens to it, but you look like you couldn’t care less.

“Come on, then,” he leads the way, assisting you in your steps as you’re still swaying a bit.

His place was just across where he parked your car. He quickly unlocks his door and switches one dim light.

You immediately speak as you go inside. “I need the comfort room.”

“It’s that door on the left.”

You quickly march towards the direction he pointed at.

Once in there, he hears you throw up. Well, better you throw up there than here.

He gets himself a glass of water to freshen up. When you come out of there, you look much better - sober, in fact. The dazed look in your eyes is gone. Your hair is tied up and the lipstick smudges are gone too. There was a certain amount of refinement on how you move now, dignified almost. You walk up to where he was. Even your strides are poised now.

You take the glass from his hand and drink what was left of it. You go to the counter beside the skink and put the glass there.

Right away, he goes after you. He isn’t wasting time any more. He’s waited long enough.

You’re still facing the counter when he puts both his hands on the edge of it and traps you between him and the surface. He was about to have a taste of your neck again when you spoke.

“You know, Kuroo.”

He stops half-way.

“I really don’t like drunken sex. I’m not me when I’m drunk,” you continued.

He takes one step back. He can’t believe what you were saying. There were so many chances for you to say no and leave. Out of all of those, you choose now? Right when he thought he could finally nail you. You suddenly turn and face him. You aren’t smiling but there’s a playful spark in your eyes.

You prop yourself up and sit on top of the counter. You lean back a bit and look straight to his eyes.

“I’d rather have a clear head and remember everything in the morning.” It’s clearly a taunt, daring him to satisfy you. A smile crept on his face as he closed the gap between you.

“Drunken or not, you will remember tonight.”

His lips latch on to yours fervently and you kiss him back just the same. You’re more responsive this time. Before, you were just pliant, like you were only being swept away. Now, you actually return his kisses with the same ardor he has.

You hurriedly remove your jacket and throw it on the floor. He pulls you closer to him, bringing him in between your thighs. You swiftly remove his polo shirt while gets rid of your top as well.

His hands go to your neck, holding it softly in place as he stares at your face - his eyes fixated on your lips. He puts his thumb on the side of your bottom lip and strokes it slowly. When his thumb reached the middle of your lower lip, you put it in your mouth and graze it with your teeth. You give it a little lick right before his thumb slips down on your chin. You don’t smile, but your gaze holds a carnal intensity that stirs him up.

He’s had his fair share of sex, but that tiny gesture was the most seductive act anyone has shown him. His brain is having a hard time thinking how he will be able to do all the things he wants to do to you tonight. The night just isn’t enough.

He unzips your pants and impatiently removes it from you. Your panties are about to go next when your hand goes to his shoulder.

“Here?” Reluctance shows on your face. His hands still at the waistband of your underwear.

“Here” he smirks” is where I prepare my meal.”

You raise your eyebrow as your lips slightly part in amusement.

He covers your mouth with his again, then slides your panties off of you. He targets your bra next. Knowing better this time, his hands went to your front to unhook it. He doesn’t bother removing it completely. He cups both bosoms and gives them a firm squeeze.

His lips trail down to your neck, then sucking it right before he flicks his tongue out. He put his fingers to work as he toys with both your nipples. A soft moan came from you. His one hand moves down to your inner thigh and starts caressing it with his thumb. He can tell you’re wet already, or maybe you’re still wet from earlier. Your juices have dripped to where his thumb was. You attempt to squeeze your thighs, but he’s between your legs, declining you of the pleasure you sought.

“Getting impatient now, hmm?” he says in your ear.

“No more teasing.”

“Why not? It’s fun.”

It’s true. Since you sobered up, you no longer had the unassertive persona you had in your car before. It would be more gratifying to wreck you this way. He’d love to tear down that particular composure you have.

“It’s getting annoyi- _ohh_!”

He cuts you off by abruptly inserting the whole length of his finger inside you.

“As you wish.” He removes his finger and gives your neck a last suck before he licks his way down. He grabs a chair behind him and seats himself comfortably before turning to your damp opening.

He finds himself getting impatient as well. Seeing you in this state just rouses him up even more. He opens your legs up a bit more and digs in. He licks the length of your cunt, causing your hands to fist his hair as you whimper. He sucks on your clit, then flicks it with his tongue. Your head whips back with your mouth open as you puff. He inserts two digits at once. He scissors his fingers inside you to loosen you up. He doesn’t take time in doing it slowly, just a few languid strokes and he’s already harshly fingering you.

Before long, he could already feel your thighs start to tremble. Your puffs are now muffled moans as you try to hold them back by biting your lower lip. He removes his fingers off and replaces it with his tongue, rolling it deep in your center. He moves his thumb and index finger to your clit and toys with it. He could tell you’re about to cum. You’re grinding on his face as your voice starts to leak from your mouth.

“Yesss. Uhhh. Your tongue.. so good”

He tugs your clit harder, pushing you to your climax. He gives a few more licks just to relish how you throb on his mouth.

Your eyes are still closed but a smile of satisfaction is on your lips.

He stands up and proceeds to unzip his pants. He grabs a packet from the back of his pants and puts it between his teeth, then continues to strip off his remaining clothes. Once naked, he claims your lips. He can’t decide which is better, your lips here or down there.

Your hand wanders down to his erection, but he catches your wrist before you even touch him. He leads your wrist to his shoulder and does the same to the other before tearing the pack of the condom and unrolling it on his member. Then, he grips your hips and lifts you off the countertop.

“Hey, what’re you-” you sounded worried.

“Hold on to me.”

He takes a few steps and pushes your back to the wall while still carrying you. He lifts your hips high enough for him to enter you.

“Wait! I just came.”

“So?”

“I thought you’d want me to suck you off at least.”  
He smiles teasingly. “Aw. How generous of you. But you don’t need to.”

He continues to prod your entrance. You’re already so wet and he can’t wait to bury his cock up to your hilt.

You suddenly tense up. You grasp on his shoulder and look at him.  
“I’m still sensitive. Just wait for a short while.” your voice firm and commanding.

He furrows his brows.

  
“I’ve been hard since you started grinding your ass on me at the bar. I’ve been waiting since then.” His irritation was evident.

His need for you is intense. With your wetness seeping on his cock, he just couldn’t help himself.

“I told you I’m no prince charming.”

He pushes the tip and slowly enters you. You bury your face to his neck and groans. The heat and dampness of your insides engulf him. His eyes close shut at the feeling.

“Haaaa. Fuck, you’re tight.”

He carefully lowers your hips to accommodate his member. Your insides throb as he completely enters you. He feels the press of your nails on his shoulders while lets you adjust to the stretch he just gave you. When he felt you ease up, he started to move.

He pulls out very slowly, only letting the tip remain inside you. With the same pace, he pushes back his whole length. It’s so exquisite. He can thoroughly feel how he probes you and how tight your pussy is squeezing him. He maintains the pace, savoring the experience.

“Stop.”

He complies immediately. He might’ve been hurting you.

“I– um. It feels strange.”

“How so?”

Your hands fidget on his shoulder, unable to describe how you’re feeling.

“Just give me a moment,” you said timidly.

He instantly figures you out. You’re about to cum again, and it feels weird because you just had an orgasm.

Instead of stopping completely, he thrusts deep. When he reaches the deepest he could, he grinds in you - moving his hips in slow, small circles.

Your hands clutch hard on his shoulders, your nails digging on his skin again. Your thighs are quivering and he can hear your whimpers crisply as your mouth is just below his ear.

“Dammit. Don’t clench too much on me,” his voice creaking. He’s about to lose it. He could feel the pent-up tension on his groin seeking a release.

‘Calm down. Calm down. Calm down’ he chants on his head.

“Kuroo, I’m cumming!” A slew of pitchy moans sang on his ears as you came undone.

And he utterly failed.

“Fuuucccccckkk!” With one long, deep thrust, he busts out.

Despite the sexual relief, he’s pissed. He didn’t want to cum from that.

The stress on his limbs starts to get noticeable. He does not put you down but hurriedly walks to his room.

“We’re not done.” he says as he proceeds.

You murmur incoherent whispers as a response.

Once there, he lays you down on his bed. You feel at ease with the comfort the mattress provides. You’re about to bask in the soothing relief of his bed, when you feel him stand up.

You open your eyes to see what he’s doing.

He removes the used condom and throws it in the bin. Your eyes widen as you notice that he’s still hard. He gets another condom from the drawer of his deck and quickly puts it on him.

You use your elbow to up yourself a bit.

“We’re not done?!”

“That’s literally what I just said.”

He walks back to the bed and pushes you gently so you were lying down again. You’re dumb-founded. Both of you just came. You could still feel the tingling from getting off.

You didn’t expect that you’d cum twice that fast, and now he’s already heading straight for another round?

He gets on top of you.

“Why don’t we rest for a bit first, hmm? You must be tired.” You rub his chest, attempting to appease him. You fake a smile and try your best to sound concerned.

He gives off a husky laugh. “Drop the act, kitten. You suck at it.”

He lowers his head and catches your lips. You want to protest, but the way his mouth moves against yours was enticing. You entwine your fingers with his hair. Despite the rugged look he has, his lips feel soft and mellow. You just can’t resist kissing him back. He pulls away a bit.

“Spread your thighs for me,” his voice barely above a whisper.  
Your breath hitches at his seductive request.

“I don’t think I can any more,” you admitted.

He puts his hand at the back of your head, then his lips reach for your ear. He licks the curve of your ear and gently bites your earlobe.

“I’m sure you still have one more for me. I know it.” His tongue moves down to your jaw.

“I can prove it.” He sounded so sure.

How cocky of him.

“And if you don’t?”

He raises his head and meets you eye to eye.

“Hmmm. Let’s make a deal then. If I cum before you or you don’t cum at all, I owe you one favor.”

Your eyes light up. The idea of him owing you something is cool, but what’s more exciting is proving him wrong. Yes, he’s hot as hell, but you already came twice in a row. That has never happened before. Yet, he thinks he can get a third one from you. You know that he’s still capable of making you feel good, but another orgasm is just very unlikely.

Looks like you’ll pop his ego a bit tonight.

“But if you do cum, you owe me one. Sounds good?” He tilted his head as he asked.

You don’t even think before answering. “Deal.”

A wide grin spreads on his face as you say it.

He nudges your legs apart with his own and kneels. He takes hold of your knees and pushes it towards your midriff. He lifts your legs until your calves are hanging on his shoulders. His eyes roam on your body. He bites his lip when his eyes reach your cunt.

“You look so fucking perfect spread out like this.”

You almost moaned at his words. No one has ever made you feel so hot and dirty. Add the fact that his face and body are damn pleasing to the eyes.

You feel him position his cock just above your cunt and squeeze your thighs together. His tip is right on your entrance but slips up to rub on the length of your cleft. You thought he missed, but he picks up the pace.

You almost thought that it was weird until you start feeling heated from what he’s doing.

You crave more. He’s still enjoying himself so you act on your own to fulfill your desire. You raise your hip, hoping that he’ll sink himself inside you.

It doesn’t go unnoticed by him, of course. He holds your thighs tighter to keep you in place.

You groan from frustration. It’s been like this all night. He denies you when you want it, but gives it to you when you don’t ask for it.

“I think I can make you cum like this,” he says as he keeps grinding outside of you. You squint your eyes at him.

“I think you’re full of it,” you spit out.

You moan your loudest when he suddenly shoves himself full inside you, not slowing down from his pace earlier.

“No, you’re full of it.” he sounded gruff yet also amused at his own pun.

You don’t bother to retort a comeback. All your attention is on his brisk thrusts. He’s going fast and deep. You can feel him hitting spots that haven’t been reached before.

You hear yourself moaning, if you can still even call it that. You’re almost screaming from how loud you are. You’ve been trying your best the whole night to be as quiet as possible since his neighbors might hear. It just wasn’t possible for you anymore.

He leans closer to you to cup your face. He traces your cheek down to your mouth and inserts two fingers in. You suck them and encircle each with your tongue.

“Holy shit,” his voice raspy as he continued to pump his cock inside you.

He removes his fingers and presses it on your already swollen clit. You arch your back from the added stimulation. His fingers and hips move in the same rhythm. You feel an overwhelming tension in your crotch. You grab anything you can get your hands just to get a hold of yourself. It was too much.

His grunts are getting audibly louder as well.

“Ugghh. You’re tightening up again.”

Your toes point themselves as the pleasure spreads rapidly on your body. You’re fighting a losing battle. However, you refuse to give up without a fight. 

You wrap your feet around his back and yank him closer. You grab the back of his shoulders and pull him towards you until your bodies are pressed to each other, your sweat mixing with one another. You reach for his lips, lapping on his tongue as soon as you feel it brush over yours. You lift your hips to meet his thrusts, following his same rhythm.

“You wicked girl” he hissed on your mouth.

You claw on his back when you realize that this was a double-edged sword. He removes his hand trapped between your groin and his. He uses it to tweak your hard nipple.

You bite on his shoulder to prevent yourself from screaming.

“Cumming…. already?” he asked condescendingly even though his own breathing gives him away as well.

“ _Hnnnnn_ -nooo. Im not” you pant heavily, “gonna cum.”  
You say that but you continue to meet his thrusts not for him, but for your own. You want to win your deal so bad, but your body refuses to cooperate.

“Not coming, not coming, not cuu _uhhh,_ ” you moaned in vain.

“Let go, y.n. Cum for me,” he said right in your ear, escalating you to the most intense orgasm you’ve ever had.

“ _AHHHHHHHHHH!!_ ”

You feel every muscle in your body contract as you reach the apex of your pleasure. You hold on tight to him as you shudder from the ferocity of your orgasm.

“That’s it, kitten. Cream on my cock. Fuck! Yes yess, Just like that. Fucking hell.” He loses his rhythm and bucks erratically onto you.

His orgasm makes you revel on your own, milking it to its fullest.

After he’s reached his high, he drops on top of you, both of you catching your breath. He slides beside you after he recovers a bit.

When you look at him, his gaze is already on you. You wore the same look - satiated.

You want to say something but as you blink, your eyes get heavier. You close your eyes and let weariness take over you.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 4361

You wake up from the harsh sunlight on one side of your face. You don’t recognize where you are when you open your eyes. You sit up, trying to recall what happened before you passed out last night.

As you lift yourself up, the blanket you wore drapes off of you. You swiftly gather it back again to cover yourself when you feel the air on your bare skin. You notice the tenderness on your arms, hips, and particularly down there.

Right. A guy named Kuroo happened.

Your lips draw a smile on your face as certain scenes from last night, or was it morning, flashes back in your memory. He really did a number on you. You look for him but you’re alone in bed. As if on cue, he appears on the doorway of his room.

“Well, good morning to you.” he says with a smug expression on his face. He crosses his arms and leans on the frame of the door. He’s not wearing any shirt and only has skimpy boxers on. With the place being well-lit, you can see his features that the dimness previously hid. You know how that he’s ripped from the way your hands roamed on his body last night, but seeing it right now makes you wish that it was this bright when you did it.

He looks at his phone.

“Actually, it’s early afternoon already,” he adds.

Your eyes expand. Crap, you have to be somewhere this afternoon. You search the area within your field of vision for your clothes. You remember just throwing them in places, but you have no idea where exactly.

“Where are my stuff?”

He looks behind him.

“They’re still on the floor. I just got up too, so I didn’t bother picking them up.”

You cling on the blanket on your body as you stand up. You make your way towards his living room, but he does not move when you try to get past him.

“Come on, kitten. I’ve seen it all. Why bother covering up?” A sly grin plastered on his profile.

You meet his daunting eyes as you remove the knot on your chest, letting the blanket fall to your feet. His eyes follow the blanket as it drops.

“There you go. Can you let me through now?” You forge a smile.

He matches it with his own and moves out of the way.

“Absolutely.”

You can feel his stare boring to your body, but you pay no mind. He can stare all he wants, but you really need to go. Your clothes are scattered sparsely on the floor. You put them on as you pick them up.

“So, about our deal last night, hmm?”

Oh, you almost forgot about that. You bet he’s going to ask for a repeat of last night.

“What about it?” You put on your shirt, completing the last clothing you were missing.

He hands you his phone in which you frown at.

“Your phone number.”

Both your eyebrows jack up in slight disbelief.

“I’d be honest. I thought you’d ask for an encore.”

He laughs momentarily.

“I do want an encore, but I’d rather we both do than me asking it as my prize.”

He flashes you a devious grin that you find attractive.

He’s not the usual guy who goes for what he wants in the easiest way possible. He goes for it in a strategy that pleases him and gets him results in the same time. You have to give it to him - he knows what he’s doing. By asking for your number, the ball is in your court. It’s up to you if you want to do it again.

“So you’re sure I’ll sleep with you again if you ask, is that it?” you jeer at him.

“I don’t know. You tell me.” His smug expression doesn’t faze at all.

You acknowledge that it just wasn’t the alcohol and your lust-induced self that made him very appealing last night. It was all him.

You snatch his phone and put in your details.

“I should get going now.”

You head towards the exit and open the door when you hear him speak.

“I had an amazing night, y.n.” he says with a flirtatious grin.

“So did I.” You shoot him a wink, “But that wasn’t a yes,” you add teasingly and walk to your car.

You seat yourself and are about to start your engine when you hear your phone’s text notification.

‘See you again, kitten~’

It was an unknown number but you know exactly who it is. You ignore it and throw your phone to the seat beside you. Yet, you can’t control the simpering of your mouth.

And that’s how you and Kuroo became “friends.”

You saw no reason to stop yourself from seeing him. You need a good lay sometimes and so does he. You aren’t dating anyone. You satisfy each other in bed. He’s fun to be around at. And most importantly, you go to different universities, which is actually ideal.

You’ve dated two people in university, but that’s different. You and Kuroo are not dating. It’s purely physical. You don’t want to be sleeping around with someone and attend the same classes with him. It’s weird for you.

Although you both were on just having sex basis, you know some details about his life. He’s in his last year in Business Marketing. He used to be captain of his volleyball team in high school. He continued playing in university, but he stopped this year because it was his senior year. He wanted to focus on graduating. You are also aware of his schedule since you have to know when he’s free.

This is the first time you’ve had this kind of arrangement, but you know how it goes. And honestly, you just don’t see yourself anything more than friends with Kuroo.

You do believe you’re friends, kind of. Sometimes, you stay longer than you should when you come over. You even study at his place sometimes. From experience, you just doze off at home when you come from Kuroo’s place. So you just bring your laptop and notes at his place when you have exams and papers coming, but also want some fun distraction. He doesn’t mind. He even joins you most times. You know not much about Marketing, but you help each other out. You quiz him with his notes and him to you.

You also have some grasp on his personality. He’s very laid back, yet he has a very strong sense of responsibility. He often asks if he should drive you home in case you were too “tired”. There were times that he turned you down because he had something to do in university. That surprised you the first time it happened because all guys you’ve been with have never turned you down. Although, he did call the next day to make up for it.

Despite thinking that he was a fun person the first night you met, he’s actually intimidating when he’s not goofing around. Like right now, you’re waiting for the food you ordered since you’re both hungry from your usual affair. He’s sitting across you on his table and is staring at his phone. You want to ask where the delivery guy is but he’s so focused on his phone that you feel uncomfortable getting his attention. He seems to have noticed since his eyes suddenly shift to you.

He doesn’t say anything but continues to stare.

“What?” You say, finally breaking the silence.

He eyes his phone again and shows it to you.

“You sorta look like this lady.”

You blink slowly twice as you decide if you’re going to tell him that that was indeed you. It’s an ad for a clothing brand you did a few months ago. You started doing modeling jobs in your senior year in high school. All your middle school and high school, everyone tried to earn your favor because you came from a rich family. When you started modeling, you gained more attention, to the point that you got so sick of it.

When you entered university, you laid low. You didn’t let anyone know you’re modeling. You tried to stay away from any attention. That’s why when you work with big brands or projects, you ask them to use your stage name. However; people still take notice of your looks. With your stature and face, you often get invitations to take part in beauty contests in and out of your university. You turned them all down. When people say you should try modeling, you laugh it off and say that you have no interest.

It was partially true. The only reason you’re into modeling is you wanted to feel how it was like to earn your own money. You always had everything you wanted. Your parents gave you everything you asked for. You had no sense of accomplishment. You had no real friends. You felt empty.

But being the spoiled kid you were, you knew nothing about labor. You can’t serve properly in restaurants. You can’t cook. You feel tired from doing minimal work. So when an agent asked if you wanted to model for them, you thought that it was so appropriate for you. You just have to stand/walk while looking pretty.

You honestly see no harm from telling Kuroo. You have no mutual connections. But for consistency’s sake, you decide to hide it from him as well.

“Yeah, I get that a lot. I have the face structure of a model,” you shrug casually.

He looks at his phone again and purses his lips.

“Nah. I think this really is you.”

You sigh. You saw it pointless to deny it further from him.

“Actually, yeah. That is me.”

He nods but doesn’t say anything and proceeds to scroll down.  
You scowl at his lack of reaction.

“Why aren’t you saying anything?”

“About what?” his focus still on his phone.

“Me being that model.”  
“What? Weren’t we just shittin’ each other?”

It was the first time you felt the need to prove to someone that you are legit. You get your phone and look for your behind-the-scenes photos and selfies for that shoot. As soon as you find them, you hand him your phone.

He frowns as he’s swiping from photo to photo. He looks at your phone and his phone side to side, comparing the official photo and the ones you had. Finally, his gaze goes to your face, the look of surprise evident on his.

“You weren’t kidding. It is you!”

He continues to browse through the photos.

“Why hide it though?”

“I wasn’t hiding it from you.”

He rests his chin on his hand and looks at you.

“I always wondered what your job was since you were pretty cryptic about it. You always say ‘I have my job’ but never what you actually do.”

You’re surprised that he was paying that much attention to that. You didn’t even notice. You’re just used to not letting it slip by.

He sits beside you and puts his arm around you playfully.

“But maaan, to be sleeping with a model like you,” he puts his one hand on his chest dramatically.

“I am truly humbled,” he adds with absolute jest in his tone.

He’s obviously being an ass about it, but you don’t feel pissed at all. On the contrary, you feel pleased at how he’s still himself despite knowing.

“You should be,” you counter jokingly.

He suddenly stands up. He ties his shirt into a crop top and puts his hand on his hips.

“Am I doing it right?” he asks then pouts comically.

You immediately get your phone to take snaps of how ridiculous he looks. He doesn’t mind and continues what he’s doing. His toned body makes it funnier. You find it hard to suppress your laughter as his poses get more outrageous by each photo. You stood up and set your camera on timer to join him. You exaggerate poses you’ve done in modeling and he quickly gets in sync with you. Your sides start to hurt from laughter. You both catch your breaths as you recover from your earlier absurdity.

The door suddenly creaks open with a boy looking at his phone which he’s holding horizontally. He has shoulder length hair, with black roots and blonde streaks at the ends, which is loosely tied. You’re probably the same height, if not a bit taller than him.

When he steps in, he looks away from his phone and meets your eyes, then sets out to Kuroo. It’s almost funny how his lazy blank expression suddenly shifts to weirded out.

“Shit. I forgot you were coming over, Kenma.”

You and the so-called Kenma meet eyes again, the awkwardness setting in this time. You’ll give Kuroo an earful next time. Why didn’t he lock his door? What if Kenma walked on the both of you in the middle of it? Does Kenma know about you and him? If you aren’t feeling so awkward, you’d be so pissed already.

“No worries. I’ll get going.” you smile politely to him.

You almost ran to get your stuff. Sure you both got along well, but your friendship is not the type where you introduce each other’s friend.

“What about the food we ordered?” Kuroo asks. They can have it for themselves. You don’t want to interfere with whatever they’re supposed to do.

“It’s okay. Let’s play tomorrow instead,” Kenma says.

Kuroo scratches his head and sighs.

“Geez. You both can stay. No one is being kicked out.”

Kuroo walks to his monitor and turns on his Ps4. Kenma bows his head to you and follows Kuroo.  
“I didn’t know you got a girlfriend.”

You and Kuroo immediately exchanged glances. So Kenma did not know. You’re glad he didn’t kiss and tell, but what now? How would you explain your relationship?

Kuroo is the first to speak.

“Nah. She’s just a friend.”

How classic of an excuse that was. Kenma takes a peek at you and turns to Kuroo again.

“Yea, you sort of look bad beside her,” his calm voice in contrast with the insult he just told.

That was enough to dissipate the uneasiness you were feeling. You snicker towards Kuroo.

“You must be good friends for him to be that honest.”

He glowers at your remark. Then, his expression veers to something twisted. He smirks with the familiar conniving look in his eyes. You don’t have to figure out what he’s trying to pull, because you already know.

“I changed my mind. Kenma, let’s play tomorrow instead.”

“No! You don’t have to go at all,” you immediately respond while walking towards the couch where they are. You stop behind it and dig your palms on the soft material, leaning your upper body in their direction.

“You’re gonna play, right? I don’t mind watching.” You smile all too friendly at Kenma while his glance goes back and forth to you and Kuroo. You can feel Kuroo glaring at you as well.

You know that he’s planning to rough you up in bed for being a smart-ass and not that you don’t want that, but you like this better. You like getting the upperhand.

Kenma nods. “Okay, but you’re playing too.”

He picks up a controller and sits down.

“Change the loser,” he adds.

You flop yourself beside Kuroo and give him your nicest smile. He reciprocates it with a fake one. 

You are so pleased with yourself. Even if you lose in whatever you’re going to play, you already won before it even starts.

His phone rings. “Hello? No. You’re on the wrong street. Wait. I’ll meet you outside.”

He stands up and pockets his phone.

“I’ll meet the food delivery outside. Go play first.”

Kenma sets up the game and you just look at him while doing so.

“I don’t think you’re just friends,” he blurts out, which takes you by surprise. Most people would go for small talks, but he went straight to it.

“Me and Kuroo? Haha. We are … just friends,” you give him a curt smile.  
“You do look too err.. nice for him,” he continues as he boots up a game with players holding guns, “but I can tell there’s something between you two.”

He hands you the other control. You ignore what he just said so the subject will be dropped. You get the controller apprehensively. You aren’t familiar with it because you’ve only played with your phone.

“I don’t know how to play this though,” you admit.

He gives you a quick tutorial on how to play the game.

“Alright! I’m ready for it.” You stretch your fingers while holding the controller. You feel a bit excited since it looks fun and it’s your first time.

The monitor is showing the loading screen when Kenma says, “I can believe that you and Kuroo are just friends.”

He’s still going about that huh.

“Yep. Cause we are.”

He gives you a faint smile. “But I don’t think it will stay like that.”

Before you can even respond, the game starts and you try your hardest to recall what he just taught you. You were clumsy and had a lot of misplays, but you were having fun. Although obviously, you lost.

After meeting Kenma, Kuroo noticed you got into playing games. Not excessively, but whenever you’re at his place, you frequently play. You also bought new games to play, which delighted Kenma when he found out. He even wants to invite you to play again.

Although these past two weeks, you don’t even touch the controller when you come over. It’s the end of the semester and it’s hell for you both.

You come over almost everyday with the idea of a quick fuck, but one of you needs to do something ‘real fast’ which ends up with the both of you doing your own school deadlines and exams. Somehow, you do manage to squeeze in a quickie when studies get too intense. It’s the two of you’s way of coping from the stress.

Even though he was the Senior student, your schedule seems more hectic. There was a night that you slept over because you were too tired to go home. He would’ve offered to drive you home if he wasn’t so tired as well.

It seems that tonight will be the same. He can feel the strain on his eyes. It’s almost midnight. He just turned over his paper online, but you’re still frantically typing.

“You okay there?” he asks.

“Mmmhmm.”

“When is it due?”

You put your hands on your temples and take a very deep breath.  
“Tomorrow night.”

“Then why are you rushing it tonight?”

“I have a shoot tomorrow night.”

He wants to ask something but decides to put it off for now. You look like you’re about to smack something and he doesn’t want to be on the receiving end if ever.

“Alright. I’m off to bed now,” you yawn.

You don’t bother to take your eyes off your screen. You wave your left hand as your way of saying good night.

He goes to his bed and dozes off right after.

He wakes up from the need to use the comfort room and notice that you aren’t in bed. There’s only a dim light in the other room, so you must’ve gone home. He walks towards the comfort room and finds you staring at your laptop while hugging your knees. You must’ve turned off the lights and dimmed your screen. He looks at the wall clock that points to 4:20 a.m.

“Have you been up all night?”

“I’m almost done. I’m just reviewing the whole thing.”

Your eyes look dead as you scroll your mouse.

As much as he wants to help, there isn’t anything he can offer. Also, he’s still sleepy. Maybe he’ll do something for you next time, but now, it’s just out of the equation. He does his thing and gets back to sleep. The second time he wakes up, the sun is already up. He expects that you’d be beside him since you looked so exhausted previously.

When he steps out of his room, he sees you sleeping on his couch. You’re only wearing your shirt and panties. Your legs are stretched out, going past the armrest. Your left arm covers your eyes while the other one is extended above your head. Your shirt is yanked up, showing your left underboob.

He smiles to himself. He wants to pat himself on the back and tell himself “nice kill, Kuroo.” He doubts he’s ever going to snag someone as hot as you are. If he didn’t see you up till morning, he would feel you up right now and take his time with you. It has been a while since you two had a good fuck. But you need the rest.

He picks you up from the couch and carries you. You squirm and open your eyes a bit. When you see him, you put your arms around him and snuggle on his neck.

He chuckles softly at how adorable that was. He always found your independence sexy. You always do things on your own if you can. You don’t ask him anything that you can’t do yourself. You even come across as stubborn sometimes. Now, you’re in his arms, seeming helpless compared to your usual self. He must admit, it feels good that you allowed him this.

He takes you to his bed princess style. You’d get better sleep there. When he lays you on his bed, you get a pillow and cuddle it with your arms and legs. He leaves you be and decides to go out for groceries.

It’s a Saturday so he has time to cook. He doubts you’d be waking up soon, so he picks ingredients for lunch.

He cooks as soon as he’s home and is done thirty minutes past noon. He’ll wake you up after setting the table. As he puts the second dish he made, you walk towards the table while rubbing your eyes.

“Something smells good. Did you order food?” you say groggily.

You stare at the food on the table, then glance at the pots still in low heat at the stove.

“Did you cook this?” You sound so surprised.

“Uh huh. You always get take-out for when you come over. Heh. Figured it’s about time I showed you real food.” He boasts with his hands on his hips.

You don’t respond to his goading at all. Instead, your whole face lights up. Your lips form a smile that’s neither condescending nor sassy. When your eyes meet his, he sees genuine happiness reflected in your eyes. He’s rendered speechless at how you’re like a different person from the sincerity of your expression. You haven’t even tasted it yet. Why do you look so happy?

Once you take your seat, you put your hand together in a prayer and close your eyes.

“Itadakimasu.”

You open your eyes with the same warmth in your smile and get your portions. You look so excited, like a kid served with her favorite meal.

After taking one bite, you clap softly while looking at your food.

“No one’s that happy when I cook,” he says with amusement.

“What, why? It’s good!”

“I mean you look too pleased.”

“Ah.” Your previously wide smile lessens, a trace of melancholy passing by your face.

“No one’s cooked for me before.”

Only silence follows. He doesn’t know exactly how to respond to that. Were you referring to ‘no one’ as family, friends, or a lover? He can’t tell. He takes a spoonful at his lack of answer.

“Well actually, our housemaids did.” You look up as if you’re trying to recall something.

“I know you’re loaded, but really? Housemaids?”

You turn to him and return to your usual foxy smile.

“Since you’ve been nice and all, I’ll let you in on a secret. You ready?”

“This better be good.”

“My parents own l.n. Co.”

He stops eating. He’s completely astounded.

“Holy fuck. You’re a legit l.n. from **the l.n**.?”

“Uh huh.” You continue eating, ignoring how shocked he was.

“That explains the shit ton of expensive stuff you own.”

“What? I live a humble life.” If it wasn’t the tone of your voice, he’d think that you’re being sarcastic. But seeing your expression, you actually believe what you just said.

“Y.n. You own a sports car. You have the latest Macbook and Iphone. You always pay for our take-out. You order any food craving you like, no matter how expensive that is. You even bought us new games. That’s far from living humble.”

You roll your eyes. “Whatever.”

“I wanted to ask you though. Why keep modeling these past weeks? You’re just tiring the shit of yourself. You don’t need the money. Do you love it that much?” It’s been on his mind since last night. Even though he did not know you were that rich then, you seemed well-off enough to miss on a few gigs.

“No. Not really. I just happen to be suited for it. But I value it because it gives me a sense of self-reliance. My parents provide for what I need. As for what I want, I provide that myself. I don’t want to go through life where everything is handed to me in a silver platter I was born in. If I stop because I have the money, then that defeats the purpose.”

He realizes that despite these past months that you’ve been banging, he knows nothing substantial about you. You spend a lot of time together, but if you weren’t having sex, you’re playing games or having some stupid random conversation. You never talked about yourself. This is the first time you’ve shared something that’s actually about your life.

You were always this hot person who’s just there conveniently, but now he can see you differently. He sees something admirable beyond being physically attractive.

“What?” You snap at him. He must’ve been staring.

He chuckles softly while shaking his head.

“Nothing.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> word count: 5612

After you finish reviewing your last paper for the semester, you walk to his couch and let yourself fall on it.

“Finally!”

You’re done with the semester. You feel relief, but you also feel the weariness of the past weeks coming down on you. You thought that when you finish all your requirements and exams, the first thing you’re going to do is have sex with Kuroo. Especially since you were at his place already.

“You done with your paper?” he says loudly from his room.

‘Yep!”

You hear his footsteps approaching. He lifts your legs up and places it on his lap as he sits. You ignore him and continue to relax. His fingers start to slowly caress your legs up to your thighs. You know where he’s going with it, and it does feel nice, but not sexually.

You sit up, which gets his attention. He makes his move immediately and is about to kiss you. Before his lips touch yours, you cover them with your hands. He stops with a puzzled look on his face.

“Sorry. I know it’s been a while, but I’m still tired.”

He grips your wrist and puts your hand down. He holds both your shoulders and nuzzles your neck.

“Mmm. I can’t change your mind?”

You laugh weakly and ruffle his usual bed hair.

“Let’s watch something on Netflix. Maybe we can ‘chill’ later.” You give him a lopsided smile which he returns.

“Alright. What do you wanna watch?”

“Romance.”

He frowns at you.

“What? I wanna watch something that does not need my full attention.” You defend yourself.

“Mkay.”

It’s been around an hour since the movie started. Your mind is afloat while you watch. You can’t follow the story, but you like this state of doing nothing and something at the same time. You check on how Kuroo is, only to find him asleep. You’re amused at how this isn’t so surprising. After all, you aren’t the only one who juggled studies. You’re not even sure if he’s done with his own.

You scoot beside him. You’re about to wake him up to tease him about sleeping, but he looks really out of it. You stare at him for a while. You don’t tell it to him because he’s going to rub it in your face, but he really is good-looking. You brush up his bangs that was always blocking his face. You get a full view of his features. You’ve never paid attention to how he looks when sleeping.

Before you know it, you lean closer to him and kiss him on the forehead. After your lips leave his skin, you freeze in horror. What the hell did you just do?!

You’re only friends with benefits. Nothing about that was sexual nor friendly. You know your boundaries. You shouldn’t have done that. You don’t even like Kuroo like that. Right?

You shake your head furiously. No no no. You’re just really tired. Maybe your brain absorbed the romance even though you weren’t fully paying attention to the movie. Yeah. That was it.

You like Kuroo for sex and sex only.

You shake him furiously. He sits up abruptly.

“Huh? What happened?” He’s obviously startled by how you shook him, but his eyes are still a bit disoriented.

You stand up and remove your shirt. Your shorts go next. He puts his arms on his thighs and slouches a bit to look at you more closely. His once-disoriented eyes are now completely focused on you.

You hold his gaze as you strip yourself naked down to your underwear. That was all it took for the air to sizzle with lust. Since you’re at it, might as well make the most out of it. You stride slowly towards him. You give your hips a bit of a sway, lingering minutely in each step you take. You keep your eyes on his, not faltering in any way.

When you reach him, you straddle his lap. His hardness that’s rasping his flimsy boxers instantly lets you know that he enjoyed the show. You cup his face and kiss him right away. You don’t waste any time. You stick your tongue on his mouth as you grind on his hard-on. You want to feel him more. You want it now. You have to harshly remind yourself that this is what you came for.

You take out his member and position it at your entrance.

Kuroo pulls away from the kiss. He holds your hips in place, stopping you.

“Is something wrong, kitten?”

His lust-filled eyes now have a hint of worry in them. Why should it matter if something is wrong? That shouldn’t be an issue. You want to be had. Plain and simple.

Damn it. You don’t like how this is making you feel.

“Nothing. Don’t you want it?” you ask impatiently.

“Hah! Of course I do. But you seem upset.”

You underestimate how he notices almost everything. No way you’re going to let him know what’s going on in your head.

You sigh. You hug him and purr on his ear.

“Tetsu, I badly need you to fuck me right now.”

He grunts. You never use his first name. You don’t use swear words as well. Only now.

That does the trick. You feel him twitch underneath you. You feel his grip tighten on your hips that it almost hurts.

“Oh kitten,” he places an open-mouthed kiss at your shoulder.

“I’m gonna ruin you tonight.” You shiver at how dangerously he said those words.

He pulls your hair, making you look at him again. You shudder at the raw desire completely visible on his face.

He plays with one nipple with his tongue while his right hand gropes the other. His left hand goes to your groin. He traces the warmth of your slit and rubs your clit at the end of his strokes. You grip his shoulders tightly for support. You yelp when he bites the hard bud while inserting two fingers inside you.

Ahh yes. This is what you want, to let both of your carnal hunger for each other take over you. To let it cloud your head and consume you until your mind goes blank.

—

You look for your laptop in the back seat, but it wasn’t there. You’re a hundred percent sure that you did not take it to your unit last night. You were so out of it that you just got inside, laid down, and slept. That could only mean that you left it at his apartment.

You hurriedly take out your phone and dials his number. After three rings, he picks up.

“Hey. Can I go there? I think I left my laptop there.”

“I’m not home, but I do have it with me. I was just about to call if you’re at campus.”

“Actually, yes I am.”

“I’m around the area. I’ll be there in 20 minutes or so.”

“Alright. Thanks!”

You drop the call first.

You find a seat at the benches near the university gate. You’ll just wait for him here so he won’t need to find you.

“Oh hi y.n. Have you submitted our last paper?” It’s Kira, one of your classmates from your Management Theories class. She’s with another classmate of yours, but you don’t remember her name.

You give both of them a frail smile. That was all you could manage.

“Not yet. I’m waiting for someone before I do.”

“You okay y.n.? You don’t look too good. You must’ve stayed up all night for our paper.”

“Hahaha. Yeaaah.”

Blatant lie. You finished your paper early. It was Kuroo that kept you all night. A man of his word he is, he ravaged you senseless. It was only sheer willpower that gave you the strength to drive home at 2am.

In fact, you don’t want to go outside today. Your shoulders are tender. Your hips and legs ache. You feel sore between your thighs. Even walking is a chore You just want to lie down and waste the day away.

You hear your text notification.

“I’m here.”

When you find him, his eyes are already on you. He grins and waves at you. You can see your laptop bag on his hand. You meet him halfway.

“Are you sick?” He puts his hand on your forehead. You swat his hand away.

“No. But my everything hurts.” You speak softly.

“Oya?” You pout and glare at him. He puts up his usual conceited grin.

“You asked for it, kitten.” He inches closer to you and tilts your chin up.

“Remember?”

You feel your face getting warm. You always match his provocations. You don’t back down, but that was when you’re at the confines of his apartment. This is the first time you’re in a public space since you met at the bar. This is your university, your domain. You are very much aware that other students who might know you, are passing by.

You gently push him with one hand.

“Stop it. We’re in public.” You warn him while looking around.

“Alright, alright. Here’s your thing.” He hands you your laptop bag.

“Uhh. Thanks, Kuroo.”

He raises an eyebrow.

“It was Tetsu last night.”  
You scoff. “That was a one-time thing. You should’ve savored it.”

You freeze when you feel his hand on your cheek. You’re not sure which is warmer, his hand or your face.

“I did savor it.” He pinches it lightly before letting go.

Before you’re able to react, he scurries away with a stupid smile. “Hehe. See ya, y.n” he salutes with two fingers and finally leaves.

You want to be annoyed, but you’re too tired.

“You and your boyfriend look like you came from a magazine. You’re so tall and pretty.” You hear Kira’s voice behind you. You harshly turn around to explain. You wave your hands frantically. “No, no, no. He’s not my boyfriend.”

“Eeehh? But you were so sweet.”

You laugh nervously. “He’s just a friend.”

Kira nods. “You should go home after you submit our paper, y.n. Your face is very red now.”

Damn him.

—

When you passed your paper two weeks ago, that officially ended your semester. Aside from your modeling gigs, you’ve only stayed at home. Kuroo’s been asking if you want to hang out, but you’ve been ignoring him. You needed the rest from juggling sex, work, and studies. You thought that you need to focus on one for now - work. But now you’re getting bored. It’s been two days since your last gig. What should you do today?

An unknown number suddenly pops on your phone.

“Hello y.n.?” It was a familiar calm voice.

“Kenma?”

“Yea. But it’s Kuroo who asked me to call.” You hear fumbling on the other end.

“Oi. Y.n. Why do you answer Kenma’s call but ignore mine, huh?” You sigh. You don’t really want to explain that you need some time away from him.

“Never mind that. I’m at Kenma’s. Wanna play here?”

You perk up. That’s perfect. You don’t have anything to do today. It’s also been a while since you played altogether.

But, you’ve never been over at Kenma’s.

“Is it okay with him?” It might be Kuroo’s idea. You don’t want to impose.

“Kenma! You don’t mind, right?” You hear Kenma but couldn’t make out what he said.

“Yep. He said it was fine. I’ll text you the address.”

You drive to the address he gave you. He said to just enter, so you did. You follow Kuroo’s loud voice to locate them. You open the door where you hear his voice from. Both of them take their eyes away from the screen to see who entered.

“Look who’s back from the dead.” You don’t want to admit it but it was nice to see his usual grin.

“Missed me, Kuroo?” You tease back.

The two-week break did you some good. You’re back to how you are with each other, in your part at least. No weirdness involved.

“Hey Kenma.” you give him a warm smile. He greets back with a curt nod.

“So what’re we playing?” You sit beside Kuroo.

“I wanna race y.n.” Kenma says.

“Ooh. That means you’re in my seat, Kuroo.”

“Fine,” he unwillingly hands you the controller.

You switch places. Kenma goes to his disc collection and looks for the game you’re going to play.

“By the way y.n., aren’t you going to congratulate me?”

“For what?”

Pride shines on his face. “Hehe. I’ve passed all my subjects. I’m officially graduating this semester.”

You gape at him in astonishment. You know he’s a Senior, but you thought he’s going to graduate next semester, not this one.

“Whoa. I- uh.” You don’t know how to react. Should you hug him? Shake his hand? Kiss him?

Wait, what? You shake your head. Kenma’s here. No indecencies allowed.

“But why aren’t you celebrating?” you ask.

“I did already. I was gonna invite you actually, but you weren’t answering my texts,” he says it casually, but his face is serious.

It‘s nice of him to want to invite you to celebrate such a milestone in his life. Maybe you really are actual friends despite being shagmates. Now you feel bad for ignoring him because you felt strange around him lately.

“Um sorry. I didn’t know.” you apologize awkwardly while looking away. Your face lights up when you think of a way to make it up to him.

“Do you want anything in particular as a grad gift?”

“You can ask for that newly released game” Kenma quickly answers from across the room. You laugh when Kuroo makes a face.

“Hey. I’m the one she’s asking.”

Kenma returns to his seat and starts the game.

“Think about it while we play,” you say.

He doesn’t seem to be thinking though. While you’re racing with Kenma, Kuroo keeps on taunting you to beat Kenma. He abandons sitting and moves behind you.

“Left, left. GO LEFT!” With his hands on your shoulders, he nudges your upper body to the left as you swerve through a curve. You two are in sync in movement which adds to your excitement. You go through two nitrous while Kenma slips on a banana.

“Bye Kenmaaaa” you can’t help but egg him on. You’re grinning so hard your cheeks are starting to hurt. You’re almost at the finish line. Finally, you can beat Kenma at something on the first try.

“Haha! Good one, kitten.”

You go rigid. You glance at Kenma to see his reaction. He’s still focused on the game. Hopefully, he didn’t hear. When you return your eyes on the screen, you hit a shell. You slow down while Kenma gets back to being first. You do your best to catch up, but he’s already at the finish line.

“So close.” you groan in frustration. You could’ve won if Kuroo wasn’t such an idiot.

“Heh. My turn.”

“Don’t you need to be somewhere tonight?” Kenma asks Kuroo.

He looks at the time. “It’s way too early,” then he stills for a second before sitting beside you again.

“I know what I want y.n.” His smile tells you upfront that he’s up to something. You ready yourself for what it is.

“Come with me tonight.”

“Where? What for?”

“We have this batch graduation party at a hotel. We’re allowed a +1.”

“Uhh. Why me?”

“Cause you’re pretty.” Kenma says in a nonchalant manner.

“Not just pretty. You’re way hot. My batchmates will be jealous of me nyehahaha.” You just stare at his animated state of idiocy.

“Sorry about him y.n.” When you look at Kenma, he shares the same expression you have.

“Won’t you get bored if I’m there?”

“Nah. I planned to go alone before asking you.”

“Why not ask Kenma?”

“Pass.” Kenma says too quickly.

“That’s why.” Kuroo confirms.

“Don’t you want anything else? I can get you anything.” You try to negotiate something else that you can buy for him.

“That’s too easy for you. And I don’t really need anything.”

You exhale heavily while rubbing your face.

“Okay, sure.” You grumble.

“Yes!” He laughs maniacally.

To be honest, you’re a little uncomfortable about this. You’re sure people will think you’re dating. Ugh. Whatever. Since he asked for it as a gift, you’ll give it to him just this time.

“I’m thirsty. Does anyone want water?” Kuroo suddenly stands up and heads to the kitchen.

“I’m good,” you say while Kenma just shakes his head.

“So,” Kenma spoke as soon as Kuroo left the room. You turn to him.

“Kitten, huh?”

Your whole body tenses up. He heard it! You have no excuse this time. You feign innocence and smile so fake that it’s making you cringe. Kenma’s smarter than you thought. If he pulled this off before Kuroo asked you, you wouldn’t have agreed to it.

Wait. He’s also the one who reminded Kuroo of the event even though it’s still early in the afternoon. Did he do that deliberately because he knew Kuroo’s going to ask you in that instance?

Ugh.

You know that Kuroo is very perceptive, but Kenma’s just on a different level that it’s almost scary.

“I think I’m gonna get some water too.” You make your escape to the kitchen and give Kuroo some verbal beating.

–

Maybe he should’ve gone together with you. It’s been thirty minute since he got there. He’s even late, but he still hasn’t heard from you.

He takes out his phone to call you, but his thumb stops when he sees his outgoing calls history. It was mostly your number from the amount of times he’s called you from the past two weeks. They were all missed though. You never answered him.

Admittedly, he was worried when you were ignoring his texts and calls. That’s why you had to use Kenma’s phone to check up on you because he has no idea where you live.

Of course, neither of you is obligated to reply or show up to each other, but he does care more than a fuck buddy should. It wouldn’t hurt for you to take 5 seconds to reply to his texts. What bothered him the most is that maybe he went overboard with the teasing and pissed you off for real.

He’s glad that you seemed normal this afternoon. You were actually nice to have thought of giving him something for graduation. He didn’t think that you would. You even agreed to be his date tonight. He didn’t exactly phrase it that way earlier because you might feel off with the word ‘date’.

Instead of calling you, he sends a text message to know where you are.

Someone puts a hand on his shoulders. “Hey Kuroo. Are you with someone tonight?” It’s Reiji, a batchmate with the same major.

“Hell yeah I am.” The confidence in his voice makes Reiji curious. “Where is she?”

“Running late,” he answers thriftly. Reiji nods his head and looks around. Reiji suddenly stands up straight and shakes his arm violently.

“Someone brought a hottie. Look!” Reiji continues to shake his arm to urge him to look at said hottie. He doesn’t care though. He looks at his phone to see if you’ve replied.

“I swear, Kuroo. She looks like a freaking model.” The word ‘model’ didn’t go unheard. He instantly turns to the direction Reiji was looking.

Reiji is a fucking tool. You aren’t just hot. You look absolutely divine. You’re wearing a crimson dress that hugged your marvelous figure. It goes just above your knees, but there’s a knot on both sides that hitches the dress higher to show just the right amount of skin on your gorgeous thighs. It has flimsy straps that highlight your neck and shoulders.

The only time he saw you with makeup was the night you met, and that was only lipstick. Tonight, a glossy shade of peach is tinted on your lips. You’re wearing eyeliner that’s intricately drawn, giving your eyes that sultry look.

You’re also wearing heels which makes you stand out even more.

The most captivating of all is how you carry yourself. You are not overdressed in any way. The clothes are just right for the hotel setting. It’s the way you walk with finesse while occasionally glancing at corners that makes you look like royalty who’s checking on her subjects.

Others are also staring, but you don’t seem to notice or maybe you don’t mind at all.

Your eyes finally meet his. He suddenly feels nervous. He has all the cockiness, but he can’t muster any right now. You look down for a while and tuck your hair behind your ears. Then you give him a coy smile before you approach him. Ah fuck.

“What the- Did she just smile at you?!” His lips form a lopsided smile as his ego swells up. He pats Reiji twice. “Sorry dude. That hottie is with me.” He puts his hands on his pockets. He raises both eyebrows and gives Reiji a meaningful look before marching to meet you.

He puts a hand on your shoulder when you’re within reach. The stares that were previously on you are now shared between you two.

“You’re late,” he says in a hushed voice.

“Deliberately, of course. Now everyone knows the pretty girl is with you. Be a little thankful.” You respond in the same manner while giving him a pleasant smile for everyone to see.

You really are a sly one. His hand goes to your waist and leads you to his friends. He introduces you as a special friend of his. He gives them vague answers when they ask if you guys are dating. You ride with it. You don’t just nod when there’s a conversation. You actually join in it and keep up with what’s going on.

There’s a time when he had to leave you for a while because a professor from his department asked him about his plans after graduation. He doesn’t prolong the conversation because someone might hog you.

He excuses himself and finds you giggling with his batchmates. He smiles to himself. You really kept your end of the bargain. You aren’t just the hot chick, you also have wits to boot.

He goes back to your side. “Sorry folks, but I’m getting her back.”

“Whaat? Cmon.” He hears more grumbles of disagreement, but he doesn’t care. He wants you to himself now. You smile politely to them and bows your head. “Nice to meet you guys.”

“C’mon.” He guides you out of the hall. “Where are we going?”

“Just follow me.”

He goes in an elevator and presses the highest button.

“I have to say. I didn’t think you’d cooperate this well.”

You sneer at his indirect praise. “I’m an amazing trophy girl, aren’t I?”

He nods approvingly and claps slowly. “Brilliant honestly.”

You punch him playfully on the arm.

The elevator dings and reveals the rooftop. He lets you go first and follows. The floor is amazing. The lights are warm and there’s soft music playing in the background. The clear view of the city lights is the biggest attraction.

“Woooow,” the look of awe palpable on your eyes.

“Cool, right?” He asks, but you don’t answer. You just absorb the view in front of you. The breeze blows your hair gently, showing more of your profile.

“Don’t you want to sit? Your feet must hurt from those shoes.”

You shake your head. “Not really. I’m used to it. I’ve stood and walked in heels for long periods of time.”

“From work?”

“And family. I’m also their trophy girl sometimes.”

He looks for any hint of sadness but you say that as a matter of fact only. On the contrary, you look back at him with warmth in your eyes.

“Congratulations Kuroo.” The smile he sees is like the one he saw when he cooked for you. He’s a bit moved that you are truly happy for his achievement.

“Thank you.” He returns the sincerity.

You both enjoy the silence and the twinkling lights laid before you. The soft music in the background is the only sound audible presently.

“Come here.” He grabs you by your wrist and pulls you close. He puts your arms around his nape.

“What’re you doing?” You struggle a bit from his grip.

“My gift still hasn’t ended, right?” He outsmarts you, yet again. You blink twice and heave.

“You’re really milking this, aren’t you?”

He wraps his arms arounds your waist when you stop resisting. He starts swaying slowly, following the rhythm of the song. He revels in the feeling of your body pressed to him. The natural thing to do would be to whisk you away from here, take you to his place, and bang you wildly. But that’s not what he wants right now. This. This is enough for him for now. Having you this close gives him unspeakable contentment.

He lifts your chin with a finger so you’ll look at him. He returns his arm to your waist once you’ve locked eyes.

“You really look beautiful tonight.” He finally tells you. You’re too gorgeous not to let you know.

You blink twice at him with your mouth a few centimeters apart. The make-up doesn’t hide the subtle pink shade that suddenly glowed on your cheeks. Lovely. He won’t miss this opportunity.

He swiftly dips down just to stop with his lips a few inches from yours. He can feel you completely tensed. The breath you’re holding is apparent.

“Relax, y.n.” His one hand climbs to your back to caress it, ushering you to ease up. When you loosen up, he claims your lips. When you melt in his arms in complete surrender, it’s enthralling. The warmth of your mouth against his is too good for words. He can’t get enough. You open your mouth letting him slip in his tongue. He adores how you reciprocate with the same passion.

Your right hand travels from his nape to his chest. How this is still non-sexual is beyond him. He can kiss you like this all night.

The ring of laughter that echoed in the air breaks the enchanted bubble you two were just in. A group of people enters the floor. You get away from him hastily.

“We should go.” You tell him while avoiding his gaze. You make your way to the elevator without waiting for him. One of the girls who just came in lingers her eyes at your face. You ignore it and get in the elevator. Kuroo goes right after you.

When the elevator closes, you see your reflection. Your lipgloss was smudged all over. No wonder the girl was staring. You hurriedly get a napkin from your purse to wipe it off.

“Can I take my gift home?” You don’t know if it’s you or his voice lacks the regular egotism it has. You still steer clear of looking at him so you can’t see his face.

You still haven’t recovered. No one has kissed you like that. It was agonizingly delicate but ardent. It felt like drowning but floating at the same time. You can still feel your heart pounding at your chest.

You laugh timidly to shake it off. You need to get back to your cheeky self before he notices.

“Sorry, but the gift is getting tired.” You do your best to look normal when you finally face him.

“I’ll drive you home then.” You want to refuse, but it would be weird. You just told him you’re tired. It’d be obvious that you just want to get away from him.

You defeatedly give him your keys.

The ride to your place was spent in silence. You close your eyes to straighten your mind. It was nothing. That was just a regular make out session done in a very romantic setting. It’s probably completely normal for him, so it should be for you too.

“I’ll let you borrow the car so you don’t have to take a cab home.” You interrupt the stillness. “You don’t have to. It’s still early anyways.”

“Consider it a consolation since you can’t take the gift home.” You did it. You said something your usual self would.

“I’d rather take the gift itself, so no.” Damn it. Just when you thought you’ve regained your sass, he instantly shoots it down. You’re almost at your place.

“Holy shit. You live at Roppongi Hills?!” He says out of the blue. Oh right. You’ve never let him drive you home. You didn’t see the need for him to know where you live. You’re also wary of your privacy. You completely forgot about that because of what happened earlier.

“Parking is over there.”

He stops the engine when he finds a spot. You get out of your car immediately.

“Thanks for driving me home. Night.” You greet dryly.

“I want to see your place at least.”

“Buy why?” You whine in frustration. You just want to lie in bed and distract yourself from any thoughts about him.

“Oh y.n. You’ve been keeping me out since day 1. Now that we’re here, can’t you spare this unfortunate man a peek?” He laments dramatically.

His acting is so bad that your laugh echoed at the corners of the parking lot. God, his humor really gets you. You speak when you catch your breath, “A peek it is then, unfortunate man.” Finally, you feel the air between you two clear up.

He follows you when you go inside the building.

“Good evening, maam.” Ths security guard bows as he greets you.

“He’s with me,” referring to Kuroo. “Good evening, sir,” he greets Kuroo as well.

When you’re out of earshot, he says, “Sometimes I forget how ridiculously rich you are. Maybe I should start calling you milady or somethin.”

“Call me ‘Mistress,’ you lowly servant,” you say jokingly.

His eyebrow and the corner of his mouth both shoot up at the same time.  
“So you’re into that, huh?”

“I was kidding of course!”

“Let me stay and I’d serve you all night, y.n.”

The right response would be to ask him how he plans to serve you exactly. But you panic instead, the thought of even kissing him again makes you nervous like crazy. Crap, you’re really losing it. You pray that you aren’t blushing.

“Tough luck, Kuroo. I just want to lie down and do nothing for the night.” You bring the conversation back to normal before it escalates into something that involves you and him having any intimate contact.

When you get to your unit, you let him in. You keep the door open. You don’t want to be enclosed here with him in it. The last thing you need is him tainting your place. You don’t want to wake up and realize that he’s had his way with you on your own bed.

His eyes survey every corner, looking very impressed at the interior. “Daaamn. My place is shit compared to this.”

You check your phone. Five minutes from now, you’re kicking him out.

“You can get your water in the fridge if you want.” You mentally praise yourself for keeping the conversation light and breezy.

“Left or right?”

You sigh loudly. You make your way to your kitchen. Halfway through, you hear your door creak. Oh no. You hear it thud close.

“Say y.n., what should I do so I can stay here tonight?” Despite the huge space, you feel trapped. His eyes are intensely piercing on you. You gulp to clear the build-up of nerves that blocked your throat.

“Y-You just can’t.” How dare you stutter!

As he takes his steps to cross the distance between you, you grow even more fidgety. You want to step back, run away even. If he pulls off the same stunt on the rooftop earlier, you don’t know if you can hold back the unwanted feelings you’ve been disregarding recently. You’ve been pushing them at the back of your head, telling yourself excuses, and convincing yourself that it’s nothing. And until tonight, you were successful.

You don’t want to have feelings for Kuroo. You won’t be able to handle the complexity of the situation that would arise.

You waver when he gently strokes your cheek.

“Hey,” he says it so gently that your eyes reach for his, pulled in by the magnetism of his voice.

They hold the same mellow tenderness they had while ago. He’s never been like this with you. Only tonight.

Maybe he - no. You shouldn’t delude yourself like that. This can go very bad for you if you make a mistake. You’ll end up falling for someone who enjoys only the sex and company, nothing more. What you’ve been feeling since you left the hotel is fear. You’ve been repressing all these thoughts and they’ve built up to this situation. You are now in a sitch wherein you’re scared that if he makes his move, you’ll be too powerless to stop yourself.

He lowers his head, closing in inch by inch. Too close for comfort. His lips go past yours and lands on your cheek. It’s only a soft peck.

“I really liked your gift,” he says with authenticity, then lets you go.

He heads for the door. Your eyes absent-mindedly trail him as he exits.

“Good night, y.n” He winks and closes your door.

You go to your bed and sit. Your eyes are fixated at the wall while your brain tries to make out what just happened. You stuff your face in a pillow and squeal with frustration. Who are you kidding?

Kiss or no kiss, you fell for him.


	5. Chapter 5

“We got the shots. Thanks everyone!” The creative director, Mitsuki, wraps up the shoot. ‘Thank God,’ you thought. You head to the dressing room and change into your own clothes.

Mitsuki goes to you after you change. You’ve worked with her several times since she’s well-known in the industry. You like her because he’s approachable and is easy to work with. You often share nonwork-related conversation during shoots.

“You look dreadful. What happened to you?”

She just had to remind you that you barely slept. You were tossing and turning trying to not think about last night’s events. You only had two hours of sleep and you exist right now only because of caffeine. Although, your eyes sting and you can feel a headache coming. Still, you’re thankful for today’s work. Because of it, you’re preoccupied with something else other than him.

“Rough night.” You answer lifelessly.

“Oooh, do tell,” she looks at you meaningfully, hoping for any juicy story you might be holding. Unfortunately for her, it’s not something you’re ready to share with anyone.

“Next time, Mitsuki.” You give her an apologetic smile and go to your car.

Once on the driver’s seat, you check your phone for any text message. No new messages. Disappointment hits you. You don’t know what you’re expecting exactly, but you just want to hear from him. He’d pester you when you don’t want him to, but now that you do, he doesn’t.

You throw your head back at your seat. Kuroo has definitely screwed you beyond his bed. This is so unlike you.

If you need something, you get it yourself. That’s how you are and what you should be doing. You can no longer ignore your feelings and expect them to go away. You doubt you’ll be sleeping with him again anyways, given your current state.

You’ve never had this set-up with anyone else but you’re pretty sure that not one party should develop any romantic feelings. You need to let him know that you are confused and you’re misinterpreting his actions recently. You don’t know how things will turn out, but at least you’ll get some clarity as to what you two are. Rattling your brains out won’t give you an answer, talking to him would. He’ll probably figure out what you feel for him even if you don’t spell it out.

You’ve never confessed to anyone, you’ve always been on the receiving end. To be honest, you don’t want to. But to hell with your pride if you can’t function properly because of it.

With your mind made up, you send him a message.

‘Hey. Wanna meet tonight? I need to tell you something.’

–

He arrives at the bar where you first met. That’s where you told him to be. He goes to the counter and is deciding what he’ll have before you show up.

He went a little earlier than what you said in your text. He’s doing nothing anyways and he couldn’t stay still. You made it seem important. Maybe it was about last night.

When you let him in your place, he was really pleased. He thought you could continue where you left off. You were tense back on the rooftop, but he considered it was because of the open space. But when it was only the two of you, you were more flustered. It was so cute actually. You’re always so feisty in and out of bed, but last night you looked timid and vulnerable even more than you did when he went to your university.

Since when were you so threatened by him? There’s no need to be. It’s not like you like him or somethin.

As if. He’s already lucky enough to be banging you, he won’t kid himself into thinking you like him.

…

But what if you do? On the slight chance that that’s what you’re gonna tell him, how should he respond? He hasn’t really thought of it. You’re always so guarded and seem like you’re in only for the fun as well. That was the case until you’ve been spending a lot of time without actually fucking. You slowly filled him in the gaps of who you are as a person and boy, does he like you a lot. Even Kenma does, to the point that Kenma’s been hinting that you two should date. He usually dismisses it as you and him are only ‘good’ friends. Although he’s positive that Kenma’s not buying that shit. Kenma probably knows what’s going between you two.

Also, you’re the only girl he’s shagged exclusively for this long. Usually, this set-up is good for him only for a month or two tops. It’s been more or less 6 months already with you, but it’s never boring, sex or not. He’s always looking forward to seeing you. He likes it when you always have a quick-witted counter to his provocation. He finds it adorable when you let him take care of you. Your face when you blush is just too fucking precious. It warms him up when he sees you genuinely smiling. He won’t mind at all if you continue like this longer.

Ah shit.

“Glass of whiskey,” he tells the bartender. He immediately drinks the liquor, the burn on his throat soothing the riot going on on his head.

It sounded like he’s way past just liking you. He takes another sip at his own frustration. He shouldn’t be thinking this hard. It was just a what-if situation anyway. You probably don’t like him that way, and now he’s upset at the conclusion he came up with.

It’s bad to have feelings for you. First, he doesn’t know how you feel about him. If he lets you know that he does, you might cut him off from the ‘benefits’ of your friendship. Your chemistry in bed is too good to let go. Second, let’s say you do like him, is he really sure of what he’s feeling? Isn’t it just because you’ve been so physically intimate for so long that he’s mixing it up as something remotely close to love? He doesn’t want a half-baked relationship if you both decide to take things seriously.

“Need some company?”

A pretty blonde girl sits beside him. Pretty, but nowhere near as pretty as you are. He checks his phone for the time and if there’s any message from you.

45 minutes till your said meet up time. He takes his drink and ushers the blondie to a standing table. The conversation he shares with her is casual, at first at least. After a few minutes, she’s already batting her eyes at him and bites her lip every now and then. Her touch on his arms lingers when she playfully slaps his biceps.

All too easy. He’s not even trying.

Since the opportunity is here, guess he’ll go for it. He’s definitely not sleeping with this blondie, but a 'lil playtime before you arrive won’t hurt. Maybe that would clear up the confusion in his head.

Alright, blondie. Whatever she’s rambling about, time to shut up. He grabs her shoulders and goes for her lips. She pulls him closer by putting her arms around his neck. She lets out a soft moan in the kiss.

A few seconds, but still nothing. He has to try harder. He grabs her ass to feel her more, to excite himself, to get rid of unwanted thoughts on his head. He closed his eyes shut and focused on the body that he’s holding at this moment.

‘Congratulations, Kuroo.’

Scenes from last night rushed in his head. Your smile. Your lips against his. The warmth of your body succumbed to him.

He can’t do this.

He harshly pulls himself away from the girl. He tastes something vile in his throat that doesn’t resemble anything close to the whiskey he’s having. It’s horrible. He’s disgusted with himself. All he could think about is you. It doesn’t feel right with someone else. It should be you he’s holding.

He thought himself smart, but right now he’s one hundred percent sure that he’s being a fucking idiot. How could he think that this nobody of a lady can take you off his mind? How dare he touch someone else right before meeting you?

“What’s wrong?” She whines while her eyes are pleading for him to continue. He smiles sourly.

“Sorry, but I’m actually with someone.” The blondie’s face got all scrunched up.

“Douchebag,” she mutters as she walks away. And that he is, a total douchebag.

He goes back to the counter and orders himself another round. Looks like he needs to tell you something as well.

–

You came just a tad bit early. You managed to take a nap, but you woke up before the alarm set off. You’re still restless, but you feel a bit better than this morning. You decided to meet Kuroo at the bar where you first met. Weird place to talk, but you don’t wanna come off as too serious about it. You want it to be as casual as possible, as casual as confessing could be. Where could be more casual than the place where you first hooked up?

You can’t decide if that was genius of you or plain moronic, but you go with it anyway.

You’ve already pep talked yourself while driving. You know the words to say. You’ve rehearsed them in your head. You’re ready.

Right when you enter the bar, you start feeling queasy. Can you really do this? You go to the restroom to clear your head. If you go to your car, you might just back off and go home.

You look at yourself in the mirror. There’s no alcohol in your system but you’re flushed already.

“Oops, sorry.” It’s a drunk girl who’s now giggling at her clumsiness. She stops when she looks at your face. “Oh deaaaar, you look like you’ve had tsu many. Yer so red. You okaaay?” She seems really concerned, but you can’t help but be amused. She’s slurring way too much. She worries for a stranger getting too drunk when she, herself, has probably had too many already.

You snigger. “Yes, I am. Are you?” You throw back the concern she just gave you. She cackles at your question. “I donut know. Am I?” It’s contagious. Being anxious about your plans tonight, you’re more susceptible to humor. A second later and you’re laughing as well.

“Um. Thank you,” you smile at her. She just eased up your nerves without even knowing it. You exit the comfort room.

You try to find a comfortable place to seat yourself when you see Kuroo talking with a blonde girl. He doesn’t look interested at all, but you notice her touching him flirtatiously. You don’t do anything. Why should you? That’s up to Kuroo. Any moment now and he should be shoving her away. He’s meeting you after all.

You keep watching and waiting, until he puts his drink on the table and does the complete opposite of what you’re expecting. Your feet stay planted on the ground as everything unfolds right before your eyes, everything getting worse as seconds tick by. They’re basically clinging onto each other with her arms around him and his hands on her waist, all while engaged in intense lip-locking. He looks really into it. His hands travel down to the girl’s butt, and that’s about it for you.

You turn on your heels and make your way to the door. You feel like actually throwing up. Not only that, you’re suffocating as well. The neon lights make you dizzy. The music makes your ears ring. Every damn thing about this place hurts.

“Watch it!” you hear someone say, but you ignore it. You’ve been bumping into people while you scamper your way to the exit. You don’t care. You need to get out of here fast. You can’t stand it.

The exit is just a foot away. You extend your hand at the doorknob and hurl your body to make it outside. The fresh air was piercing against your lungs, reminding you how much of a reality was the scene you just witnessed. The relief you’re expecting and longing for doesn’t come.

Sadly, you can’t just stand there while people are passing you by as they enter the place. You need to go.

Each step you take is heavy. Each step vibrates through your whole body. You couldn’t process anything. The only thing you know is you want to go home. You want to be alone. You want to scream.

“Y.n.?”

Perfect. Just perfect. The flood of emotions surge through you when you see Kenma. What’s he even doing here?

“Have you seen Kuroo?” He says something after but you can only make out certain words.

Keys. Meet. Okay.

You want to speak but your throat hurts. You can feel your whole body shaking at how hard you’re trying to keep it together.

“What did you s-s-s…” You can’t finish your sentence. You bite your lip so hard that you taste blood. That would be better than you breaking down in public. Still, you can already feel tears in the corners of your eyes. One more word and you’ll probably lose it.

Kenma moves closer to you, studying your face. You try to hide it, but you know that anyone with two functional eyes can see that you’re in pain. He looks around, eyeing for a place where you can talk in private.

“Did you bring your car?” You only nod once. You don’t need to say anything for him to follow the direction you’re heading at. You keep your breaths short for you fear that an impeding sob might escape.

You both get in the back seat.

When the doors shut, you throw your head back to the seat.

“Y.n., what happened?” You face him with blurred vision from the tears you held. He’s never been expressive, so when you see intense worry on his face, you crumble.

You cover your mouth with trembling hands to tone down your screeching sobs. You weren’t aware that you could get hurt this much. The scene you just witnessed keeps replaying in your head. It hurts. It hurts. You want it to stop, but it doesn't.

You feel a hand patting your head. It was oddly comforting.

“I fell for him,” your voice strained from how hard you cried. You don’t want to get into the details of how last night was enchanting for you, how he made you feel things no else had. How special he made you feel. You even thought that there was a chance that he sees you more than the ‘friend’ you are.

Kenma’s expression remains the same. He must’ve known already. Were you that obvious? Were you so easy to read? If he knows, does Kuroo know too?

He stays silent, waiting for what comes after what you just said.

“I saw him with someone else inside.”

“Maybe it’s just someone he knows.”

Someone he knows, huh? Wasn’t that how you two started? There at that bar, cocktail in your hand, his lips on your neck. Tonight isn’t any different, except it was not you he’s holding.

“You should talk to him, y.n. I think he feels the same to you.” An empty laugh erupts from you. It was bitter and pathetic. Like you.

“You were right before. We aren’t just friends. We are fuck buddies above all. That’s why he likes me. I’m a convenient lay for him.”

Another wave of sadness comes. You feel the warm streaks of liquid in your cheeks again. You let it trickle down your face.

That’s how much of a real relationship you can get from Kuroo. Pretense of friends while letting yourselves get off to each other. At the end of the day, you weren’t his and he wasn’t yours to keep. You could easily replace each other. Let someone else warm your beds.

All this time, you haven’t slept with anyone else. You’re satisfied with just him. You thought it was an unspoken agreement that it would only be you two. Even if casual, you thought it was exclusive. But that might not be the case. Tonight was proof that you could easily be replaced. Or worse, you could just be one of them.

Now you have another emotion added to your tray of feelings. You’re furious. He could’ve at least told you that you were having sex with other women. You saw him as a friend. If he was decent enough, he should’ve at least told you that and let you decide if you still want to keep your arrangement.

Being friends with benefits sucks big time. You shouldn’t have done this. You were confident that you could handle it. Obviously, you thought wrong. Falling stupidly in love with Kuroo is downright deplorable.

“Go back inside y.n. It might not be what you think it is.”

“I was going to confess tonight, you know. I was the one who asked him to meet. Only to find him canoodling with some bimbo while groping her ass. Tell me Kenma, is it not what it is?”

You see Kenma squirm on his seat. “What the heck is he doing?” He whispers while his eyes dart to the bar you just came from.

You sniff and wipe your face with the hem of your shirt. “Screw him,” you say.

Kenma presses his lips together, as if trying to hold back something he wants to say. You didn’t want to, but you figure it out anyways.

“But I already did, didn’t I?”

Kenma smiles apologetically. “Sorry.”

“Do you want me to hit Kuroo and stuff?” he adds.

You imagine Kenma throwing Kuroo’s PS4 at him, which makes you giggle. You’d be willing to pay big time to see that happen.

“Thanks, Kenma. You didn’t have to be here, but you are.”

You’ve never had too many friends from your upbringing. Sure you hang out with people, and there were really fun times. But no one was there when you felt lonely. You got used to it. You didn’t know that it was this relieving to have someone just actually be there.

“But please, no matter what. Never tell him you saw me.”

“But what if he asks?”

“I was never here.”

He nods.

“Will you be okay?”

“Somehow... You should go, Kenma. I’ve kept you long enough.”

You both exit your car at the same time. Before you move to the driver’s seat, you call Kenma.

“I’d appreciate it if you accidentally hit him with a controller.” You put air quotes on ‘accidentally’. “Maybe twice or thrice. I’ll replace it when it breaks,” you add. Kenma grins the widest you’ve seen him do.

“You’re funny, y.n. Kuroo is dumb.”

You smile faintly. “Thanks, Kenma. Really.”

–

It’s been months since you’ve left Japan. Now you’re back. You have mixed feelings as you find yourself in the familiar airport terminal. You look at the gate across you. That was exactly where you exited before, with your eyes swollen and your heart broken.

You left because it was too much for you. You realized how spoiled you were in life, always getting what you wanted. You didn’t have any relationship you could call authentic, but in the same way, you had nothing to lose. No friendship fights, no drifting aparts, nothing. So when you fell for someone who wasn’t yours to keep, it tore you in ways you weren’t cognizant of.

You cut him out after that certain night in the bar. You blocked his number, his social media accounts, and warned the staff in your condo to not let anyone visit. You were scared that if he reached out, you would yield to him. Because despite the misery he brought, you missed him. But you wouldn’t allow yourself to do that. You wouldn’t continue to be his play thing while sinking deeper into that hell hole of loving him.

That’s why you had to leave. But before you did, you gave in one last time to your wretched feelings. You unblocked his number and texted him.

“What I really wanted to tell you the other night was I’m leaving. Want to meet before my flight?”

You didn’t know what you wanted back then. Parting sex or for him to stop you?

It didn’t matter though. Since he did not show up, much less even replied.

For some reason, you felt like letting Kenma know that you were leaving. He was there when you were broken, and in a way, he's your friend too. You leave him a brief goodbye message and never let Kuroo know the details of your disappearance.

Then you boarded the plane with crushed hopes and a shattered ego.

That time, you’ve never been more grateful that you came from a privileged family. You left your studies behind and flew to the U.S. There, you continued your modeling career. You began taking it seriously. You were no longer picky - big or small project, you accepted it.

You came back because several Japanese brands wanted you as their model. You obliged of course. You liked being busy and you believe you’re good at what you do.

Your phone reminder about tonight’s event goes off, speaking of which. The shoe brand you worked with in the US is launching their line in Japan. They just made you their official Japanese brand ambassador.

No rest for you. Just how you wanted it.

–

The MSBY members line up when they arrive at the place. Media immediately catches up with cameras all over them.

“Hey hey heeeeey!” Bokuto yells eagerly to the photographers.

Atsumu is doing his signature fist in the air pose before he serves.

Hinata is smiling ear to ear with his hand on his head, not knowing how to pose for the media. Sakusa, on the other hand, has his hands on his pockets with no expression on his face.

Kuroo might have made a wrong decision in letting Sakusa be the fourth person to attend. He should’ve chosen someone more camera-friendly from their roster. Oh well. What’s done is done. What’s important is he got to sign a deal with the brand to sponsor MSBY.

When he graduated, he immediately got accepted at the Japanese Volleyball Association, Sports Promotion Division. It’s just as he wanted, to make use of his education and still be involved with the sport that he loves.

Part of tonight’s job is going around and greeting the Marketing staff of the brand. He engages in small talk and thanks them for the opportunity. The event is simple, nothing too fancy. It’s a bit dull for his taste, probably because the shoe line is all-encompassing - lifestyle, sports, formal wear. Hence, the lack of a specific theme.

After the obligatory chatters, he goes back to where he left the guys, but finds not one of them there. Damn it.

One thing he likes about his job is he got to reconnect with several people from his high school who are now part of the Japanese pro teams. The drawback is that sometimes he has to handle them, especially at events like this. He knows Bokuto and Hinata all too well, so he knows how to manage the two. However, with Miya and Kiyoomi in the fray, it’s a different ball game. Knowing how chaotic the four can get, he picks up the pace.

‘For Christ’s sake, they better not be fucking around.’ He says in his head while his eyes search for any of the four.

Unknown to Kuroo, Atsumu is strolling around the area with Sakusa after the photographers had their fill of them. He suddenly stops and fixates his gaze on something that catches his interest. “Omi-kun. Imma introduce myself to that chick over there. Couldja not tell Kuroo-san?”

Sakusa looks at the direction Atsumu’s looking at. When he sees the subject of interest, he scowls. He’s already sure that Atsumu’s about to make a move on the girl he just eyed. “Don’t. Technically, we’re at work.”

It falls on deaf ears. Atsumu waves nonchalantly as he walks away from him. He’s gonna get that hot chick’s number and no one’s stopping him.

“Miya-san! We were looking for you.” Hinata suddenly appears. Atsumu doesn’t notice him approaching because his attention is on the girl.

“Yeah, Tsum-tsum. Where did you go?” Atsumu glares at Bokuto. “Don’t call me that in public!” he says angrily in hushed tones. He looks around to see if anyone heard, then lets out a frustrated sigh.

“Oh look. There’s a cute lady!” Hinata says with excitement. Bokuto’s eyes go after where Hinata is looking at. “Woah! Let’s go greet her?” Bokuto asks Hinata enthusiastically. Hinata nods with the same eagerness.

Atsumu grits his teeth. “What the hell?! I saw her first!”

“So? We can all say hi.” Bokuto retorts innocently. Atsumu wants to snap at Bokuto’s lack of ability to take a hint. “Let’s go, Hinata!” Hinata and Bokuto march towards the girl. Atsumu walks briskly to catch up to the two.

“There’s no way you two are going before me” he says while getting a step ahead of them.

Sakusa looks at the three dunces who’s now hogging the poor girl. Even at a distance, he can hear their voices. He already knows that Kuroo will be smacking them if he sees them, including him, despite not being involved in their ruckus. He should pacify them before they do something more embarrassing.

He goes to where they are and grabs Bokuto’s shoulder. “Hey. Cut it out.”

“Oh, btw. This is Omi-kun. You should see him warm up. His wrists are so cool! But freaky.”

Sakusa’s eye twitches. It’s not his intention to be introduced, and the way Bokuto did it is not to his liking.

He looks at the girl who looks like she’s just putting up with them. “You’re bothering her.” He says, reprimanding.

Atsumu feels a firm grip on his shoulders. Must be Sakusa on his grill instead since he couldn’t faze Bokuto. Atsumu’s temper is seething at how he’s persistently getting cockblocked tonight. “Fuck off, Omi-kun.” he hisses under his breath.

_“Excuse me?”_

Atsumu freezes when he recognizes the voice. He slowly looks at who the voice came from, hoping that he was wrong. Very unfortunately for Atsumu, he was dead on. He stands up straight and looks somewhere else. The other three notices how he suddenly stops talking. When they look at him, they see Kuroo instead, his eyes in crescent slits and a sinister smile creeping on his face. They stop muddling around and stand up straight at the same time, joining Atsumu like a bunch of middle schoolers being discplined.

“Come on now, boys.” Kuroo says with hidden threat on his voice. He’s never putting these four in the same campaign again. He’s the same age as them, but he feels like he’s losing his youth when he’s working with these four oafs. He has to always step it up or else they’re all going to get in trouble. He sighs.

He turns to the girl.

“I’m so sorry about th-”

He blinks a few times to make sure he wasn’t seeing things. But he can’t be wrong. He can never mistake you as someone else. Everything about you is etched in his brain.

His eyes roam all over you, letting himself be captivated by you again - your alluring eyes, your soft lips, your breasts that fit just right in his hands, your legs that wrapped around his back when you felt too good.

It really is you in the flesh. You, who suddenly vanished and left him hanging right when he realized that he wanted more than what your friendship offered.

He had no idea what happened. That night when you said you were going to meet him, you did not show up. Not a text or call to let him know why, even the days after. But he let it slide. He thought maybe it was just your usual disappearing act. You did disappear though. For good.

A lot of times, he still thinks about a particular day. He stayed up all night drinking and playing games and when he woke up, he saw one text from you. He’s never been that excited just from one text. At last, you decided to show up again. His excitement quickly turned to panic when he read it.

“…I’m leaving. Wanna meet before my flight?”

A text that was sent hours earlier when he was still out of it. What if he woke up earlier? What if he read your text and met with you? What difference would that have made?

Until now, it’s still on his mind how he frantically pressed his phone keys and called you back as many times as he could, only to get a “cannot be reached” prompt every time. He tried searching for you but he couldn’t. Your social media accounts were all gone. Since he did not know anyone in your life, there was no one to ask. He thought you both had a chance, but in a snap, you were gone from his life.

It stung more than he wanted to admit. He eventually gave up. He wouldn't be able to find someone who doesn’t want to be found. Yet, you’re here, in front of him. Just a few steps and he can hold you.

Seeing you still as beautiful as he remembers, brings a familiar tug in his chest that he’s not sure he likes.

“Kuroo, if you wanted to say hi too, just say so.” Bokuto complains, noticing how he’s ogling at you as well. He notices how the other three are frowning at him as well.

He scoffs. These boys have no fucking clue that what he had in mind was more than meagerly saying hi.

“Yea, yea. My bad.” He puts his hands mid-air and pins a phony smile on his face. He turns to you and puts his hands on his pockets.

“Sorry about them.” You open your mouth to say something but your gaze drifts to the four Jackals who are looking at both of you. Instead, you smile politely and bow. What a fake-ass personality.

He’s at work and there shouldn’t be any monkey business, but he can’t resist the urge. He’s not having this polite facade you’re pulling right now. He hasn’t seen you in months. He needs to see the real you. He moves closer. You falter and take one step back. Too bad for you, his strides are longer. Just one step and you’re already within his grasp. Finally. He tucks your hair behind your ear, his touch lingering on your jaw.

“How’re you, kitten?” He says a bit too loud than he wanted.

Your eyes become wide as saucers with crimson specks dusting your cheeks. He takes delight at the sight. You look exactly as you did on that rooftop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was tempted, VERY TEMPTED~, to create some sexual tension between Kenma and y.n., Then I remember how I hate love triangles between bestfriends. So no.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word count: 6.7k (wow I outdid myself lol)

Your eyes alternate among the four men who are blathering in front of you. You’ve been in events like this before, so interacting with guests isn’t a problem for you. But this. This is mayhem. Much of what they’re saying doesn’t make sense to you. You’re pretty sure that they introduced themselves, but their names didn’t stick because one would interrupt the other before they’re even comprehensible.

Despite them towering over you (except for the orange-haired guy who’s a tad shorter than the rest), they seem like boys squabbling over who gets to talk to the pretty girl first. You had to press your lips together as a disguise of a civil smile, but in reality, you’re stifling a laugh from leaking out. It would be rude since they’re guests as well.

The laugh stuck in your throat instantly evaporates when you see a familiar figure approaching, a figure you know all too well. You try to get a clearer picture, but he turns to the blonde-haired guy, only revealing his side and back profile to you.

You lose awareness of the other four from before. Your eyes are solely focused on him, waiting for him to face you so you can confirm that you aren’t daydreaming. Before you left Japan, it was frequent that you saw him in certain places you go, but it was just actually your brain conjuring his images to fill in the void you felt.

Being out of the country, the daydreams stopped. And now that you’re back, right on your 1st day in Japan, you’re back to seeing illusions? That can’t be. It’s been months for Christ’s sake. You’ve moved on. Maybe it was just someone with the same build, or ..

“I’m so sorry about th-”

Or it really was him.

You definitely aren’t hallucinating. But damn. You aren’t prepared for Kuroo to appear before you, and more so, you aren’t prepared for how he’s looking exceptionally good tonight. He’s donning a formal black suit with a red tie which you haven’t seen him in before. It was always shirt and pants. In his graduation party, it was just long sleeve polo in navy blue and black denim that he wore. You didn’t think much of it. You thought ruggedness was part of his charm. But no. This refined ensemble also suits him. It suits him too damn well.

You can’t believe it. It’s been months and yet, the sexual pull he has on you is still intact.

“Sorry about them.” He says with the signature mischievous grin he has.

‘What the hell are you doing here?’ was what you want to say, but you’re on official business. You peek at the four boys, and just as you thought, they’re staring.

You give your rehearsed smile and bow. This is not the time and place for a reunion. You pray that he gets the drift.

Of course, he doesn’t. You become alarmed when he advances directly face to face with you. You take a step back to provide enough space between you two. You can’t have him too close. However, he still catches up. Before you can even react, his hand is already in your hair as his fingers tuck the strands behind your earlobe.

“How’re you, kitten?”

The feel of his skin directly on yours, despite being the lightest of touch, stirs something wistful in you. It gives you unwanted and unnecessary recollections of his graduation party.

You scold yourself mentally. Like you told yourself a while ago, this is not the time and place. When you look around, you see that the blonde and black and white guy was gaping in shock while the remaining two look puzzled.

He hasn’t changed. Still an expert on taking advantage of a situation to make you lose composure. Does he think that you’re going to let him do as he pleases?

Hell no.

You give your best goody-girl impression and beam at him.

 _“I’m sorry. Who are you?”_ You say in perfect English, your pitch higher than your usual talking voice. _“You must be mistaking me for someone else.”_ You add. Kuroo’s brows raise at your trivial retort. You peek at the boys to see their reactions. It was priceless.

The blonde guy is slouching, his face buried on the shoulder of the orange boy while his own shoulders are shaking. Orange boy is shushing him. The black and white guy doesn’t bother hiding his boisterous laughing. The black-haired stern guy looks repulsively at Kuroo.

You can’t tell if they understood the whole phrase, but the ‘who are you’ is basic. You’re sure they got that one at least. You turn your eyes to him again and purse your lips to the side. You tilt your head a bit and flutter your eyes in a demure manner.

He grits his teeth as he shoots daggers at the four. “Scram now. Before I report you to your manager.”

“Introduce yourself okay, Kuroo?” Black and white calls out and laughs while walking away. The blonde guy joins him, letting out his suppressed laughter while hitting black and white’s back.

After they’re out of sight, Kuroo’s attention is on you again. His irritation is gone and is replaced with amusement that twinkled in his eyes.

“I didn’t know you spoke English.”

You look down and drop the doe-eyed act. In just one blink, your eyes are sharp and your lips curled into a corner. You cross your arms before meeting his gaze.

“Since childhood actually.” You say proudly with your normal voice. Then, you dive straight to the point. “What are you doing here, Kuroo?”

“I’m working. What’re you doing here, y.n.?”

“I’m working.”

He doesn’t say anything, but the devilish smirk on his face doesn’t leave his face while his eyes are glued on to you. You don’t falter. You hold his gaze with the same daunting expression. Just like before, you always find yourself wanting to topple his presumptuousness. You don’t back down. You’re always ready for whatever remark he’s going to throw at you.

But instead, you’re met with a change in his demeanor. His face softens up - his eyes glint with yearning while his previous smirk dwindles down to something that looks equally sad and glad at the same time.

You’re ready for anything, but this. You didn’t think you’d see him again, but you’ve held up well. You will not let yourself get carried away with Kuroo’s musings, be that sexually or emotionally. So you look away, breaking the spell that held you both captive. You clear your throat before speaking.

“Let’s do what we should be doing here then. See you around.” You try to dismiss yourself from the situation as quickly as you can, but your attempt to walk past him is useless. One pace and he’s already blocking your way entirely.

“Why the rush?” Something about the way he dominates the space in front of you tells you that you won’t escape.

“We’re both working right now.”

“Dinner after this, then?”

You let out a defeated sigh. “You’re not going to give up, are you?”

“Not a chance.” His eyes are gleaming in success when he hands you his phone, just like he did that morning after you had sex the first time. You know that he’s thinking the same. You share the same meaningful gaze at how familiar this scenario is.

You shake your head while typing the number you just got this afternoon.

–

You sit across Kuroo at the coffee shop he took you to.

“What’s this about, Kuroo?”

“What? Can’t I invite an old friend to dinner?

“Mmmhmm.” You browse at the menu and decide which tea you’ll have. You can’t have caffeine right now. You need to be able to sleep after this very long day.

“You look good, y.n.”

You scoff at the comment. Is this his attempt of a small talk?

“Tell me something I don’t know,” you sneer while still browsing.

“Oya? Let’s see then hmm.” You feel the table vibrate as he taps it with his fingers.

“It was shitty the way you left.” The tapping stops in unison with how you feel your heart skip a beat.

Your eyes snap up from the menu. His one arm is on the table while his hand rests on his chin, his eyes piercing yours with a serious intensity you’ve never seen before. Are you ready for this conversation? You still don’t want to tell him what really happened then. You might not feel the same anymore, but it still doesn’t sit well with you. It was your own naivety that got you in that situation. After a while in the US, it registered to you that you did not have any right to be angry at him. He hurt you, yes, but it wasn’t his fault. He didn’t even owe you an explanation for that night. He could have sex with anyone he wanted without letting you know. Your inexperience led you to believe that you two had some kind of exclusivity.

But you can’t have him know that. You both have nothing to gain from letting him know. He’d probably laugh at you, or worse, feel bad about it. Despite your relationship, you know he’s a good person. He might feel obligated to do something about it. You don’t want that. You don’t need that.

“Are you ready to order?”

The waiter came at the right time. Your thoughts were about to go somewhere bleak. You smile at the waiter.

“Green tea, please.”

Kuroo doesn’t move and lazily tells the waiter, “Whatever she’s having.”

You face Kuroo again, ready to answer him this time.

“Sorry about that. I didn’t want to make a big deal of it. I tried to tell you at the bar, but…”

Unpleasant memories surges in your head. You shake your head to chase them away. “I wasn’t feeling very well suddenly. Then I just got busy the following days. I had to process a lot of papers. Next thing I knew was I was about to leave.”

You hope the lies sounded real to him. You didn’t need to process papers. Your visa and passport are ready. You’ve always flown to other countries, courtesy of your family trips. The miserable truth was that you were wallowing in misery in your apartment.

“But I did try again, right? I mean I asked to meet up before I left.” You add casually, a tad cheerier than your earlier tone.

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why did you leave?”

‘Because of you.’ That answer is still crystal to you, but of course, he’ll never know that. “Modeling,” was your answer instead.

His brows knit together in confusion.

“I thought you didn’t like it. Weren’t you doing it only cause you’re cut out for it?”

What. You told him that? You don’t remember doing so, yet he did. You think fast, racking your brain for something believable to back up your lie.

“I wanted to know what would happen if I actually tried.”

He just keeps staring at you as if he knows something you don’t, his eyes searching for any trace of doubt in what you just said. But you just meet his stare firmly, refusing to lose ground.

“Is it worth it?” It shouldn’t be a strange question, but the way he said it is. You must’ve imagined it, but it sounded like it quelled an inkling of loneliness. Perhaps you’re getting tired and projecting the feelings you had at him.

“It is.” The only truth you’ve stated in this coffee shop. You still saw modeling just as a job, yet you presently enjoy the hustle and bustle of making a name for yourself. But back then, it was what you hopelessly clung on to so your head isn’t full of him. It diverted your thoughts from Kuroo until you no longer thought about him, until the feelings faded.

“But enough about me. What happened to you after graduation?” You shift the subject to him so you’ll have to stop talking.

He removes his arm from the table and sits up straight. He takes his wallet out and hands you a calling card that read:

**Japan Volleyball Association, Sports Promotion Division**

You stare at it with amazement as you read it once again in your head. Holding the same expression, you gape at him.

“You don’t have to look so impressed, y.n.” He says that but he’s grinning too wide.

“It’s just I-I. Uh. Wow.” You struggle for the right words to say. You don’t know how to express the happiness you feel for him. You couldn’t think of a better career for him. He was so determined at university, to the point that he dropped out of its volleyball team. Yet, his laptop background was a volleyball stadium. He’s also kept his volleyball jerseys. You know because you once rummaged through his drawer to look for a shirt you can borrow. He worked hard and in the end, he was able to keep volleyball in his life in his own way.

You don’t have any passion for anything and you never had to work hard for anything. Witnessing someone strive at something and succeed, especially Kuroo who you were with at the last steps before his success, you can’t be anything but happy and proud.

Unhesitantly, you get up from your seat and sit beside him. You loop your arms arounds his neck and haul him in a congenial hug. You couldn't resist it. You had to do something to let out how you feel.

Before Kuroo can even react, you let go. Your arms drape until it is only your hands that are touching his shoulders.

“That’s great to hear! You’re perfect for it.”

He’s once again immersed in the marvel your orbs hold. Your smile reaches your eyes, and what a vision it is. He witnesses it again, how you truly value his accomplishment. You’re an international model, but you never showed this much enthusiasm when you talked about your career. Compared to yours, his job seems mundane. Yet, you celebrate it like it’s a really wonderful thing.

Rather than saying anything, he pulls you back to his embrace, wanting to feel your body against him for the second time. You gasp at his action, but he doesn’t let go yet. Only now does he become aware that he missed you this fucking much.

“Glad to have you back, y.n.” No haughtiness, no games, only sincerity. He can feel your uneven breathing and your chest beating wildly. Suddenly, he’s conscious of how good you feel like this, how you seem so perfect enveloped in his own body, how you should belong to him.

He releases you and looks straight at you, your eyes mirroring the yearning on his own.

“Let’s take this somewhere private,” he says softly. You lower your eyes. But before you do, he catches the pained glimmer in them. You push him lightly away, effectively breaking the contact.

“I can’t,” you say sternly, which winds him up.

“Why? Are you dating someone?”

“No. I just,” you suspire before carrying on, “ don’t want to go back to what we were, Kuroo.”

“And what were we exactly, y.n.?”

That’s when you return your gaze at him, but no remains of the sad glints he saw previously. He waits for your answer to the question he’s been asking in his head before you left.

A dry smile forms in your lips.

“Fuck buddies is how they call it.”

So that’s all it was to you. Can’t say he’s surprised. Disappointed, but not surprised. He wished it was something more.

“But I think that we did become friends at some point, you know,” you add, which gives him a sliver of hope. 

“And what are we now?” he presses on.

He sees weariness setting in your pretty face. As much as he wants to keep the conversation going, you look like you should be taking off already.

“You okay?” he asks.

You cover your mouth as you yawn, then proceed to rub your eyes, smearing your eye make up a bit. “Sorry, I just flew in this morning.”

“Let’s go then.” He calls the waiter and asks for the bill.

“I’ll drive you home. You still live there?” He asks, referring to your old place at Roppongi Hills.

“Yes, but I don’t have my car yet. I’ll just take a cab.”

He smirks at the misunderstanding. “What I meant is I’ll drive you home with my car.”

“Tch,” you say, but you smile softly. “To Roppongi Hills then,” you add.

He hands the bill to the waiter and doesn’t wait for his change. He gets up to which you follow. “This way, maam,” he says mockingly while leading you to his car.

He let you rest on the way. Your eyes were closed the whole time. You must be really worn out, so he just focused on driving. But the whole ride was only short. In no time, he’s already at the parking area of your place. He stares at you for a while, just taking in your presence, savoring the idea that you’re really back.

He leans in a bit to caress your cheeks. So soft and warm.

His eyes trail to your lips, which is not the best thing to do at the moment. It just fueled his hunger to claim that luscious mouth so he can taste you again. What he’d give to feel you melt in his arms again.

He lets out a harsh breath at where his thoughts are taking him. He wakes you up before he loses control.

You blink a few times and compose yourself rapidly. You unbuckle the seatbelt, but do not move after.

“I think it’d be cool if we stay like this. No sex. Friends without the benefits. Just friends.” Even though you aren’t looking at him, he knows how serious you are. 

“Yea, yea. I kinda got that already. I’m not an idiot.”

“Really? I beg to differ most of the time.” The short nap seems to have gotten some of your sassiness back.

“Well this idiot just gave you a ride home. Be a little grateful?”

“Aww. Did I finally tick you off?” you taunt teasingly, to which he mischievous grins at.

“Of course not. If anything, I’d love to accompany you to your room since you’re too tired. As a friend and all that jazz.”

You smile sarcastically and roll your eyes. “Goodnight, Kuroo.” You open the door and hurriedly step out. He immediately opens the window and yells.

“Night, kitten!” which echoes at the parking lot.

You don’t look back, but you flash your middle finger as a response while you keep walking.

He’s bawling at his seat. You’re not a person who curses. Doing so cracked him up even more. The both of you still enjoy trying to get under each other’s skin. And he’s won tonight’s round. Jesus Christ, you’re really something. When was the last time he laughed like this?

Just friends? He snickers to himself. Fuck that shit.

–

Your encounter with Kuroo somehow put you at ease. You won’t deny that something is still there. You definitely felt it, but it wasn’t as chaotic and messy as it was before. You believe they’re just tailends of the past, and now that you made it clear to Kuroo that it’s not going to be the same as before, you can have some peace of mind. All the times you both said you’re just friends, now you can actually say that without pretense.

You like Kuroo. He’s cool and you two share the same humor. With the recent lack of communication and absence of sex, you’re sure that your feelings will completely go away very soon.

But aside from him, you also want to reconnect with another friend.

You press the doorbell on Kenma’s new home the second time. What is he doing? He said he was home. You get your phone to call him, but the door opens all of a sudden. Instead of Kenma, it’s the 6’2 counterpart of the duo.

“Why are you here?”

“Why are you here?”

You two utter the same words the same time, which earns a raised eyebrow from you and a smirk from him.

If he’s here, then you’re at the right place. But why did he have to be here? You want to talk to Kenma alone. You don’t mind Kuroo, but there are things that only you and Kenma know about.

“I think I’m allowed to be at my friend’s house.” He said.

“You’re not his only friend, you know.”

Your peripheral sees something shuffle at a distance behind him. “Let her in, Kuroo.” You hear the familiar nonchalant voice. He looks at where the voice is coming from.

“Haa? I thought it was just us today.” Even though he says that, there’s a knowing tug in his lips.

“Huh? You’re the one who came here all of a sudden.”

Kenma’s annoyed voice reached your ears. You use your fist to cover your mouth from laughing, to which Kuroo pouts at.

“If you’d excuse me then.” You say teasingly while you let yourself in.

Kenma waves languidly at you with a warm smile, as warm as Kenma can possibly be. He still looks the same, except that his hair is longer now and the black roots are more prominent. He’s still wearing the regular baggy clothes, but something about his eyes seem keener.

“Heeey. How are you?” All the saltiness with Kuroo is gone, replaced by amiability exclusively for Kenma.

“All good. My channel and company are doing well recently so I moved out.”

You squint your eyes a bit. Did you hear him correctly? His channel and company?

“Sorry, I don’t quite get it. What do you mean?” He frowns, also looking confused as to why you’re confused.

“You didn’t know? He already founded his company before you left. He also has shit ton of viewers on his gaming channel. Pfft. You really call yourself a friend?”

You ignore Kuroo’s side comment. All you can think about is why you didn’t know the information he just said. You thought Kenma was just a regular student who comes over to play sometimes. Not only that, he’s nothing like the CEOs you’ve met. And he’s as young as you are!

The other night it was Kuroo, now it was Kenma’s turn to amaze you.

And just like with Kuroo, you don’t hesitate to give him the congratulatory hug as well. It’s so gratifying to know that these two you consider friends are successful in pursuing their passion.

Kuroo is a bit shocked at your gesture. He didn’t know that you two were that close for you to hug him like that. Still, he finds it nice that you and his childhood best friend get along swimmingly well. Kenma always had this aversion to people in general. He doesn’t speak much and usually won’t talk until spoken to. More specially, he’s not any good at physical affection.

So naturally, Kenma’s stunned as well. Kenma’s eyes fly to him for a few seconds, but looks down before he can figure out what Kenma was thinking. But he can imagine Kenma awkwardly pushing you away while looking uncomfortable. He already has a plan. He’ll mockingly offer you a consolation hug with open arms since Kenma will refuse to let you. He can’t wait to see you riled up.

Only to be taken by complete surprise when Kenma puts a light hand on your back while patting your head. For someone like Kenma, this is already more than just a friendly hug. What the? And to deliver the finishing blow, Kenma has this almost affectionate smile while doing those.

Goddammit.

Kuroo was feeling fuzzy earlier, but now he’s stumped and irritated at the scene taking place. Kenma never motherfucking ever hugged someone, let alone a girl. A smoking hot girl who, ironically, he’s pining after. Is something between you and Kenma that he doesn’t know about? You seem to share a deeper bond that he’s not aware of.

He’s counting the seconds in his head. When the hell are you two gonna stop this mushy touchy session?

He exhales when you finally broke off from the seemingly not ending contact.

“Wow! And I thought I was rich.” You say jokingly.

“You still are, y.n. By a lot more.”

You ignore Kenma’s last remark and let your eyes travel at his new home. Kuroo can tell what you’re thinking. He thought the same at first. It was big and homey, but a little too humble for his pay grade.

“When did you move?”

“Two days ago.”

“You should’ve told me. I could’ve hooked you up to other options.” Yep. You do share a similar opinion.

“Like Roppongi Hills?”

You look at Kenma inquisitively. “Hmm. Yeah! That’s actually where I live.”

“Kuroo told me the same thing. I wonder why.”

You and Kenma look at him simultaneously. “What? It was cool. You should see her unit. It screams ‘I’m hella loaded’.”

“Maybe I should. Can I drop by some time, y.n?”

Tsk tsk. Unfortunately for Kenma, you’re way too uptight about the privacy of your home. He practically had to force himself in. And he only stayed less than 10 minutes cause you were so uncomfortable and on the edge the whole time.

“Sure! Tell me when. I just finished unpacking my stuff.”

What.the.actual.fuck. Are you shitting him right now? With him, you were all ‘JuSt a PeeK oK?’ but with Kenma, you might as well throw a freakin tea party when he visits.

“Oy, y.n. Why is it okay with Kenma but you couldn’t wait to kick me out when I was there?”

“Uhh.. Ermm.” Your eyes drift around the room, obviously thinking of an excuse. It better be a good one because this is bullshit to him.

“I’m just kidding. I like this best. I don’t need the fancy stuff.” Kenma blurts out.

That made him snap out of it. He let out a deep breath to calm himself down. You laugh nervously but still avoid any eye contact. He turns to Kenma and finds a subtle grin on his friend’s face. It was nothing worth noticing, it only looks like a lazy smile, to a normal person that is. But he has known Kenma since childhood. That was far from a subtle grin. That was the grin of a plan being executed well.

He never told the guy what was going on between you two back then. And even before something beyond than sexual relations took place, you left, so he didn’t see the point in telling Kenma. But of course the former brain of Nekoma isn’t just for games. He has already been figured out even without saying anything.

And just now, he was being played at. Kenma was deliberately baiting him until he does something out of jealousy that could possibly advance his relationship with you. He’s almost touched at the idea, but it’s too twisted for his taste.

He moves to where Kenma is and heavily puts an arm around him.

“Ayt. Scrutinize his house all you want. We’re movin to his game room.” He drags Kenma before you could react. He strides longer to create some distance between them and you.

When you’re out of earshot, he speaks in a piped down voice.

“Since when did you know?”

“Even before you did.” They’ll have a discussion for that later, but he needs to get to his point before you catch up.

“You don’t have to do anything. I can handle this.”

Kenma gives him a disagreeing look. “This has been going on for too long. It’s getting painful to look at you two.” Since they no longer spend as much time together, he sometimes forgets that Kenma is frighteningly intuitive.

“Heh. Don’t worry about it.” He already made up his mind about it the other night. He’s just going to verbalize it for his friend to hear.

“She will be mine.”

–

Work has increased more than you’ve expected. Because of your international experience, you’ve been getting more and more offers. There were days that you’ve been in two to three shoots in a day. That didn’t happen when you were in the US. Yes, you like being busy, but it’s beginning to be too much.

It’d be weird to say that you crave for a work-life balance, since you don’t really have that much of a life. Whenever you’re free, you try to get together with Kenma and Kuroo, but Kenma’s almost never free these days. Because of it, you develop a certain appreciation for Kuroo because in contrast, he always takes up your invites. Though they’re nothing big, just casual dinner, casual chat, and then he’d drive you home. Still, it was some sort of break from work. Kuroo’s become your go-to breather when things get hectic.

At first, you’re a bit wary to spend too much time alone with him. He’s Kuroo Tetsurou, your scheming ex-fuck buddy. He might pull something similar to what he did in the coffee shop, so you’re always on guard. But so far, he’s been behaving. The conversations you usually share are work-related and the times you spent in American and him in Japan. That’s all. He barely even touches you, so you feel stupid for being so cautious.

_K.O_

The videogame prompt brought you back to the present. You realize you were only absent-mindedly pressing the buttons while your mind was floating ingame.

“Are you even trying, y.n.? You suck more than usual today.”

“Ha ha.” You laugh monotonously at Kuroo’s insult. You put down the controller and leaned back. You stare blankly at the ceiling. “Work’s turned me into a noob.”

You feel him shift his weight in the soft cushion, so you look at him. He puts an arm on the backrest of the couch and pulls in his left leg so he can face you. He’s wearing a loose black muscle tee that did its job perfectly. You see his toned biceps stretched out. You’ve almost forgotten how immaculate he looks underneath that suit he’s always wearing. The outline of his toned chest is also more prominent because of the thin fabric. What about his thighs? They must be as glorious as the last time you straddled him.

What are you doing? Were you seriously gawking at him just now? Your eyes almost dropped down to his lower half if you had not caught yourself. Did he notice? You pray to whoever’s in charge out there that he doesn’t. You won’t hear the end of it if he did.

You focus on his face instead, but it doesn’t help. Your mind can’t stop thinking how ridiculously sexy of a man he is. That’s saying something since you’ve worked with international male models.

God, the lack of sex for almost a year must be hitting you only now.

“That’s just an excuse.”

“What?!” You flip from your seat. Did you say that out loud unconsciously? You’re tired, but you won’t slip up like that.

Kuroo grins from ear to ear. How could he not notice? You didn’t even try to be discreet about it. He’s sure you were thinking of something sexual based on your agitated reaction. And also, it’s still engraved on his mind how you look when you’re horny. Although, it wasn’t explicit, you gave him that look. You want him.

Oh man, he’s tempted to do something about it. Very tempted. He’s willing to bet his car that if he made his move now, you’d actually let him. He just needs to get rid of the tiny space separating you two and he can touch you, feel your softness, trace the silkiness of your skin with his hands, and … ah no. He shouldn’t. He can’t lose control now. He’s been playing nice and keeping his hands to himself for a while, and he’ll keep doing so until you completely put down the walls you’ve held up against him. He can’t lose sight of his true goal, and that is for you to want him beyond sex. If he fucks you now, that might be jeopardized. No can do. He needs you to know that to him, you’re more than just a bed warmer, than just a friend.

Rather than teasing you for being so worked up, he comments on your disarrayed state.

“Work’s really whacked your brain, huh?”

You stay still for a few seconds, then groans harshly. You put your hands on your face and squeal, probably your way of releasing some pent-up stress.

“Yes! God, they just keep on coming. And I just want to relax you know. Like come on. Give me a break! I only have one body. And yes I get it that it’s up to me if I accept the job. But then it’d be a waste to refuse since I’m only starting to be known here. Can they at least not have the same schedule?”

He stares at you having your monologue and starts to feel bad for you. You never had this kind of episode even at your busiest days in university. You had good time management, but now you really are a wreck. No wonder you were carelessly eyeing him a while ago. You’re too drained to keep yourself in check. It was good to know though, that deep inside you still desire him, despite the no-sex barrier you established. Still, it troubles him to see you like this.

“Turn around,” he tells you.

“Um. Why?”

“Just do it. I’m doing you a favor, mkay?”

You glance at him doubtfully, like he’s planning to do something shady. This he laughs at.

“I’ll just give you a back massage. It’s the least I could do.”

Your eyes gleam at what he just said. “Wow. Who knew you were this thoughtful?”

“Shut up and turn around.” You comply.

“Hmm. You should take off your shirt.”

You fiercely look at him from the instruction he just gave, verifying that he is indeed going to do something suspicious. “Say what now?”

He replies with a haughty smirk, “I’ve seen you without anything, y.n. Seeing you in your bra doesn’t mean shit.”

You were about to flip. But he has a point. Also, the massage will feel better without your shirt. You sigh as you pull up the white shirt you were wearing. You slouch to cover your front. You do have your bra on and it’s nothing he hasn’t seen before, but still. You feel exposed.

‘This is a bad idea,’ you thought.

Kuroo thinks so too. Seeing your bare flesh like this makes him want to put into actions what he was just fantasizing earlier. He shouldn’t have suggested it.

To shake it off, he shook his hands in the air, literally, before placing a firm grip on your shoulders. You tense up at the contact, making your shoulders more stiff than they already are.

“Can you fucking relax?” he snaps. But he meant that to himself more than you. You still heed his direction anyway. When he feels you loosen up, he kneads the tautness in your muscles. Your eyes closed shut as he works on your shoulders for a bit.

“Mmmm,” you groan in relief.

He moves his hands on your arms, applying just the right amount of pressure to alleviate the tension in your body. You sat up straight when he found the rhythm and motion you liked. He tries to focus, but he constantly betrays himself. The plumpness of your chest is now for his viewing pleasure. That and your slightly parted lips and closed eyes aren’t helping the budding arousal in his shorts.

He accidentally squeezes harder which makes you throw your head back and,

“Ahhhhh”

At that moment, he can confidently attest that this is what hell is. Pure fucking torture.

He stops massaging your arms and pushes to make you slouch again. But he unknowingly does it a bit forcefully from the testosterone coursing in his body.

“Heey!”

“My bad,” he says coldly.

He continues on to your back, but does it more gently this time. He might hurt you if he’s not mindful of his strength.

From the absence of the sinful scenery, he thought he was finally safe from the lust about to rage in him. But you provided a different temptation this time. Your uneven breathing is loud enough for him to hear. Your tiny moans tainted the air, filling his head of images of you under him, writhing in a different kind of pleasure, one that will wrench out a louder, wilder moan.

“Harder, Kuroo”

His dick follows obediently. He feels his restraint ebbing away at every passing second. Damn it. He’s glad you’re enjoying this, but why the fuck does he need to suffer for it. Nuh uh. You need to have a taste of what he’s having as well.

He pulls you so your back is against him, your head resting on his chest. No complaints were heard from you. You probably thought he’s still massaging you. Well, he is, but with some extra service.

His hands move to your nape. He gives it gentle strokes with his thumb.

“That feels good,” you whisper.

“Does it now?” he answers with his voice a bit deeper than usual.

He replaces his thumbs with his middle fingers. Instead of rubbing, he slowly trails both fingers up to the back of your ears. Your reaction is immediate. You gasp as your body suddenly braces up. But he expected it. He knows those were your sensitive spots.

“Didn’t I say relax? I’m going to massage your head now.”

You abide quickly and lose the stiffness. You probably thought you just misunderstood the gesture.

He proceeds to rub your forehead with his fingers while his thumbs circles the back of your head. After a while, he caresses the sides of your face down to your neck. He does it like it’s part of the massage, until he’s delicately stroking you more than actually massaging. You remain still, but with every stroke, he feels your body getting warm. He also sees the goosebumps in your skin.

Oh yea. Precisely as he wanted.

He won’t do anything further than this, but he still has to add that cherry on top of his little seduction game.

His left hand stays on your neck while his right hand cards your hair through his fingertips. And exactly how he remembers you liking it, he fists his hand and tugs your hair.

“Hnnnnn” It was clear and crisp to him. That moan is the carnal kind that he’s been wanting to get out from your pretty mouth.

You should be yelling at him, telling him off, but you got so lost in it. Somewhere through it, you figured out that it was no longer a harmless massage. But it felt good. You couldn’t stop him. You reasoned with yourself that it was okay since technically, it’s still nothing. You aren’t even touching him, so you let yourself feel what small pleasure you could attain from it.

But the way he pulled your hair, it stirred up something in you that you’ve been suppressing arduously. And right now, at this moment, you’re willing to throw away your ‘just friends’ nonsense that you, yourself set up.

You’re about to face him when a loud thud catches both of your attention.

It’s Kenma who dropped his Switch on the floor while gawping at you and Kuroo. It clicks in your head how you two looked. You, on your bra, pressed against him with his hand on your hair.

Instantaneously, you move away from him and take your shirt to cover yourself with it. Your short-circuiting brain overlooks the fact that you should put it on rather than shielding yourself with it.

A blushing Kenma picks up his console from the floor.

“You shouldn’t have invited me if you had other plans” grumbling while heading for the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- I’m putting a short pause on this series. because it’s October: 1) kinktober; 2) Halloween drabbles. I don't know if I should post them here since they're just one-shots lol.  
> \- next part will be j u i c y  
> \- I listen to Erutan while writing  
> \- THANK YOU SO MUCH to those who leave wonderful comments. I always read them and get silly happy.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Finally!! I'm so glad to finally release this. October was so hectic and I'm a very slow writer.  
> \- I'm so sorry for the mistakes on the previous chapters. No one beta reads for me. So I went back and edited Chapters 3-6.  
> \- So sorry for the word vomit on this chapter. I was out of control  
> \- Thank you for all the nice comments!! I swear. They keep me fired up and inspired. 
> 
> Tumblr: @crescentsteel

“No! It’s not what you think!”

Kuroo almost laughs at how cliche you sounded, a typical response of someone who’s been caught red-handed. You’re about to chase Kenma, but he grabs your wrist to stop you.

“Maybe you should wear your shirt before you go after ‘im.” He tries to hide the mirth in his expression and tone. Your face is so red, you look like you’re about to burst. He also doesn’t want to add up more to the awkwardness you might feel later, so he’s gonna let this one slide. He’ll just pretend that the massage thing was as harmless as it should be. 

You put your shirt in a jumble and walk briskly to Kenma. He follows at his normal pace, settling behind you when he catches up to you and Kenma.

“Sorry about that,” you laugh nervously. “He was just giving me a back massage.”

It was kinda the truth, but Kenma looks dubious. 

“It  _ sounded _ more than a massage.”

He covers his lips with his back hand so he wouldn’t laugh. Although his rascal self wants to tease you more, he can’t let you feel any more embarrassed than this. He looks at Kenma and shakes his head minutely with a knowing look, hinting not to push the subject any further. 

“Naah. Y/n here is just really stressed so she moans like she’s being fucked.” Okay, maybe he couldn’t completely let it slide after all. 

You irritatedly look at him and punch his arm with more force than usual. “Piss off,” you hiss. 

He dramatically rubs the arm you just hit. “Ow! So violent.”

Kenma ignores the antics and just passes by you two. He’s about to plop himself on the couch, but pauses. He instead gets a chair and seats himself there.

You couldn’t overlook that. Obviously, in Kenma’s mind, you and Kuroo were doing something indecent there so he doesn’t want to be in it. You want to clear it up to Kenma that you really weren’t doing anything of that sort. Well, you were about to pounce on Kuroo, but still, it didn’t actually happen. 

In a way, you’re relieved that Kenma interrupted at the right time. You might have done something you will harrowingly regret afterwards.

“Don’t sweat it, y.n. He just misinterpreted it.” Kuroo’s unusually magnanimous today. It’s strange. He wouldn’t have lived this down on a regular day. Maybe it's because of your no sex relationship? Still, this is aberrant of him. He shouldn’t fail to notice how that last moan of yours was not of comfort. 

“Right?” He adds, his eyes gauging your own.

So that’s how it is. He is aware. But he’s giving you the option to disregard what just almost happened. You’re relieved, but also confused at the tiny shards of disappointment prickling in your chest. This is what you wanted, for you to avoid sex and Kuroo in the same room. It shouldn’t be confusing.

You look down and break away from the eye contact. You put a hand on your hip and the other on your temple, which then moves to brush your hair back.

With a long, audible puff, you speak.

“Of course, it was nothing,” you return to his gaze with a dry expression to camouflage the lie behind your words. But at the same time, you also wait for him to say something or for his eyes to show something other than indifference. You don’t know what it is you want or expect, but you wait for it. You’ll know it when you see it. 

It doesn’t come though as he shrugs it off like it was nothing. 

Disappointed, that’s what you are. You don’t like the feeling, but you are.

—

You ring your driver again, hoping that this time he’ll finally answer. If he doesn’t get to you any soon, you’ll be late for your shoot. You can’t be late for this shoot in particular. Mitsuki’s the creative director. She’s a very pleasant one, but she absolutely hates tardiness. No exceptions. She gets all sour and crank when someone’s late. 

The other end of the line picks up. “Ms l/n. I’m so sorry. One of the tires got flat. I need to change it, but I’m still stuck in traffic.”

Of all the days to get a flat tire on a heavy traffic, it had to be this day. You exhale heavily to clear the irritation getting under your skin. 

“How long before you’re here?”

“I think about an hour, Ms.”

You aren’t the type to get mad at hired help, but you’re really in a pinch. In an hour, you should be in hair and make up already, not arriving only then. Mitsuki gets enraged when someone’s 15 minutes late. To be late an hour, you can’t imagine how she’d be. There’s no way you’re going to wait here for an hour.

“Don’t come anymore. Just get it fixed.” You say coldly before you end the call. It wasn’t the driver’s fault. You wouldn’t bother getting a driver if your car hadn’t been acting up recently. Being dumb this morning, you forgot about your busted car and was late in this morning’s meeting with a client. You found yourself brisk walking in heels at the hotel’s lobby earlier just to save yourself from any more delayed minutes. And now, even your driver’s car is jacked up. 

“Y.n?”

You turn around at the recognizable calm voice you heard. It’s Kenma, except he wasn’t alone. Kuroo is right there beside him. It was kind of weird to see them together at this place and both in business wear. 

“What’re you two doing here?” 

“I’m working with Kenma here to sponsor our next promotional video.”

You just stared at the two of them. You’re used to the three of you just fooling around when you’re together. Meeting like this when you’re all in the middle of doing your jobs is something new to you. 

“And who might you be giving a hard time on the phone, hmm y.n.?”

They heard that? They must both be near while you were getting bummed out from being late this morning and potentially late this afternoon. 

“Ah! I need to go. My driver can’t make it. I’m going to be late,” you spiral back to your hectic schedule. “Bye.” You give them a quick wave, and despite your heels, you walk as fast as you could towards the entrance of the hotel. 

You try to hail cabs that were passing by, but almost every cab was occupied. And for some reason, someone always managed to get the empty cabs before you can even spot them. To worsen your luck, it began to rain. You frantically tap your left foot on the concrete as the panic sets in you.

_ Mitsuki’s gonna kill me. _

You bite your lip and contemplate how you’re going to arrive in the venue on time. The answer you found made you turn back on your heels to go back inside the hotel, only to find them already there behind you. 

“ You’re here ,” you exhale, relieved that they haven’t gone anywhere out of your sight. “I’m in a bind. Can anyone give me a ride?” 

The two men exchanged pithy looks, but you don’t bother figuring out what that could’ve meant. You just need the help you typically won’t ask for since you’re always doing things on your own.

“I can’t. I have a stream coming up. Sorry, y.n.” Kenma first spoke. You shift to Kuroo, hoping that he can give you the time of day. “Yea, sure. Am free for the rest of the day actually.” He says with a brief smile. 

“Oh, thank God!” The panic and nerves were clearing out of your system. Despite the awkwardness of your previous massage fiasco, right now, you’re glad that he can help. 

“Bye, then.” Kenma quickly took his leave as the hotel valet stepped out from his car and handed him his keys. 

“Should we go now?” Kuroo asked.  
“Aren’t we waiting for your car?”  
“No. I don’t want strangers handling my car.”  
“Then why did you go here?”

Amusement shows on his face at your question. “I saw your cute attempt to hail a cab. Is that how rich kids do it? Let someone else steal their ride for them?” You smile sweetly, disgustingly sweet, then roll your eyes before saying, “Let’s just go.”

You told him the location of the shoot. The drive was comfortable as you both share work conversations with your usual banters on the side. Being friends with Kuroo is confusing and reassuring at the same time. With the history you two shared, you need to tread the waters of your friendship carefully every once in a while. If it wasn’t the sexual tension, it was the affection you felt towards him that would sometimes seem like resurfacing. Even with all that, you can’t bear to walk away from what you presently have. You feel like you really found genuine company with him and Kenma.

“We’re here. Let me just get an umbrella.” He looks back to the back seat and stretches his right arm to reach for it. The current angle of his face emphasized his sharp jaw and the length of his neck. You were just thinking how you need to  _ tread carefully _ , but easier said than done when you know exactly how your fingers have grazed that jaw, how your tongue has tasted that neck, and much more. 

“What’s taking you so long? I might as well get drenched from the rain,” you snap because you can’t stand your own indecent thoughts. 

“Found it.” He says and returns to his normal sitting position. “Why the hell are you suddenly cranky? Geez.” You feel bad for being suddenly grouchy. He was just being nice and you were being nasty for reasons you can’t tell him. “Sorry. Just don’t want to be late,” you apologized.

He shrugs it off nonchalantly. “Hey. Where’s my umbrella?” You ask when you see him reaching for the door with only one umbrella in his hand. 

“We’re sharing this. I only have one.”

You purse your lips to the side and sharply avert your eyes elsewhere, your irritation resurfacing again. You feel uncomfortable with the idea of being that physically close to him. You’ve pushed the massage incident behind, but that doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten about it. 

“What is up with you? What are you so pissed about?”

“Nothing. Can we go now?”

He stares at you for a good 3 seconds before getting out and opening his umbrella. He moves to your side of the vehicle and opens the door. You get out and try to avoid any raindrops. He closes the door and presses his car keys to lock the vehicle. 

You both start to walk towards the entrance of the place. You’ve never felt more awkward in your life. You’re avoiding getting past the edge of the umbrella while also avoiding Kuroo’s body. 

“Why is your umbrella so small?” 

“The heck are you talkin about? This is the standard size.”

You don’t answer him. The umbrella isn’t small. He’s just huge and his whole body occupied almost all the space under the shade. You flinch when he suddenly grabs you by the shoulder and pulls you close, so close that you can feel the firmness of his body pressed onto yours. 

You raise your gaze to him with a raised eyebrow. 

“You’re gonna get wet if we don’t huddle closer.” You could accept his reason, if only you didn’t catch the miniscule curl of his lips and the skittish glint in his eyes. It was so typical of him really. Maybe you should stop being so worked up all the time. 

“Fine.” Even though he was messing you, you can’t deny that it’s much more comfortable. You’re safe from the rain and his body provided heat from the coldness of the downpour.

He doesn’t do or say anything more as you both get to the doorway of the bar where the shoot will be held. He puts down the umbrella when you reach the shade of the building. Before you’re able to get away from Kuroo’s hold, the door opens. Mitsuki was holding her phone to her ear when she met your eyes. 

“I was calling you and you weren’t  — oh.” Her eyes flew to the hand on your shoulder and traveled to its owner. “Well, well, y/n. You leave for a good while, then come back loaded.” You can always count on Mitsku to not hold her tongue. You gently release yourself from Kuroo’s hold to avoid looking defensive. “It’s not like that,” was your thrift reply. 

“Kuroo, this is Mitsuki, my creative director for today, sometimes my friend too. Mitsuki, this is Kuroo.” 

Both of them exchange casual greetings for meeting the first time. 

“How come you mention our relationship, but not yours?” referring to you and Kuroo. You sigh. “He’s also a friend.” You turn to Kuroo and thank him for the ride and his time. 

“Is your driver picking you up?” he asked.

You seal your eyes shut at your own stupidity. Because you were panicking and irritated, you sent your driver home. You open them again and purse your lips in a straight line. “No. I’ll just take a cab.”

“With your cab-hailing skills in this rain? Good luck with that.” he snorts. “Haha. Real funny.” From the corner of your eyes, you see Mitsuki with an entertained grin on her face, obviously enjoying the exchange between you and Kuroo. 

“Call me when you’re done. I’ll come pick you up then.” You want to protest but it will just drag on. You don’t want Mitsuki seeing more of the dynamics of your relationship, so you thriftly say “Okay.”

“Kuroo-san, right?” Both of you shift your attention to Mitsuki. “Actually, we need a male model because the scheduled one today is a total wimp and cancelled last minute.” She shamelessly eyed Kuroo from head to toe. So that’s why she was about to call you. The shoot was cancelled. 

When she looks at you, you mouth the word “no” to let her know that she shouldn’t do what you think she’s about to do. The reaction you got was her smiling widening before speaking to Kuroo. “Do you have an agent? Can we talk over the phone right now to discuss?”

That’s when you step forward. “Uhhh. He’s not a model. He used to be a volleyball player, hence the height and build.” You say defensively. You nudge Kuroo with your elbow so that he’ll back you up, but he doesn’t say anything. He’s just there waiting for Mitsuki’s next words. 

“An athlete, I see.” She nods approvingly. “That’s perfect! I don’t have to talk to anyone. It’s completely up to you then.”

“Errr. I don’t really know anything about modeling. Sorry.”

Your relief was short-lived when she tugs you to her direction and grips both of your shoulders. “Then your  _ friend _ here can guide you. She’ll be your co-model anyways.” 

He probably figured out by now why you were so apprehensive during the conversation just now. You don’t want him as your co-model. 

His grin just confirmed your thoughts. “I’ll go for it then.” His eyes sparkling with mischief made you surrender. You already admit defeat in your head even though the shoot is just about to start. 

You both get in hair and makeup. Being a woman, you take longer to finish. The clothes the stylists are arranging on you are taking while as well. They let you wear a very long, elegant gold dress that fits your upper body like your second skin, but the material is flowy from your waist down. When you arrive at the set, he’s already there talking with Mitsuki while waiting for you. Mitsuki notices you first. “Alright! We’re good to go.”

When Kuroo faces you, you almost don’t recognize him. His usual emo bangs were gone. They brushed his hair up cleanly. The suit he was wearing earlier was replaced by gray slacks and white long sleeve polo that has two top buttons open. You have conflicted feelings towards the hair and make up staff that did the work. They did a remarkable job with his overall style. He does look like a model like this. But also, why the hell did they make him look this damn good? The regular Kuroo was bad enough for you.

“This feels weird. I feel like I have too many things on me.” You scowl at his remark. “Too many? Wanna try being a girl?” He’s about to retort but Mitsuki claps twice which calls both of your attention.

“So our client is a liquor brand and the theme is something like wild love at the bar. What I want is you two giving the impression of having a passionate first encounter while you’re out drinking. Give me something and we’ll work it out as we go on, mkay?” 

You knew you’d be working with a male model for this brand, but you didn’t expect that they’d go with something like this. You thought it was just going to be glamour shots to showcase the drink.

But what Mitsuki said, ‘Wild love at the bar’?? That is not something you’d want to be doing with him. It reminded you of the first night you met. 

“I’m all ears on what to do, y/n” His haughty smile doesn’t help the situation one bit. You take a deep breath. This is not the time to muck around. You’re the experienced one, so you’ll be taking the lead. “Swear to me that you’ll take this seriously.” You glare at him, no trails of humor apparent. The change in his demeanor surprised you. You forgot how intimidating he can get when he’s serious. You’re so used to him being an idiot all the time that it catches you off guard. But for today, you’re glad to have it.

You explain to him how the whole shoot will go. For the first shot, you ask a staff member for a chair and tell Kuroo to sit on it. “Get the glass with the liquor and look at the camera while holding it.” He did as you told, except he has this perplexed look on his face with a noticeable discomfort from the way his lips curled in a corner. 

“On second thought, maybe this is a bad idea,” he said after trying the first time. You want to agree with him, but the shoot is already happening. You just want to get over it already since you’re already there. “Nooo. Uh-uh.” Mitsuki’s tone took a sharp turn. She wasn’t happy with what Kuroo said. “Just imagine you’re in a bar, chilling with your favorite drink and you just snagged the hottest girl in the place.” 

“Hottest girl aka me,” you comment on her instruction. That seemed to work because he changed back to his normal self and looked at you with amusement. “Just like the night we met, huh?” He said it low enough for only you to hear, but you still glanced nervously to Mitsuki if she caught any of it. 

“That’s a nice expression, Kuroo! Keep looking at her like that.” You ease up since it looks like she didn’t hear it. You put your elbow on his shoulder and tilt your hips to give your waist an S curve while angling your body towards him at the same time. You lift your chin up a bit and look at the camera with parted lips.

“Yep. Looking good dear.” Mitsuki signals the photographer to start taking the shots. You both slightly alter your angles so the pose will have variations. Sometimes you look at Kuroo, smile flirtatiously at him, or look at the camera in a sultry way. Every time you two would look at each other, you’d ‘cheat’ and look at the bridge of his nose to give the illusion that you’re actually looking at his eye. 

While looking at the shots from a separate screen, she suddenly asks the photographer to stop. You both straighten your bodies while awaiting instructions. “It looks nice,” she said before looking at your direction. “But it’s boring. There’s nothing wild about it.” You space out for a bit because for the first time, you don’t know how to proceed. You’re used to fashion shoots and runway. You’ve never had an ad with this theme. “Y.n, dear, can you be a bit aggressive towards him?”

You raise your eyebrow from disbelief. “A-aggressive?”

Mitsuki nods. “Throw yourself at him, dominate him, take control. mkay?” You feel a bit pressured when she’s just looking at you two and waiting for you to start posing for the camera. You don’t have a solid idea in your head, but you just go for it. You try to prop yourself up on the bar counter, but your dress won’t allow you.

Kuroo notices your dilemma and gets up from his seat. “You could’ve asked for help, you know.” He positions himself in front of you and grabs your waist. His hands were strong yet gentle. With your palms still on the surface of the counter, he lifts you up while you put weight on your arms so you can usher yourself properly. You’ve been deliberately avoiding his gaze, but right now, your eyes are glued to his face. 

“Yes. Like that.” You both flick your gaze towards Mitsuki. “Do that.” She instructs the photographer to move the side so the angle of the shot captures you both without him blocking you completely. You realize the position you two have. “I agreed to this to make you uncomfortable, but I’m not gonna lie. I’m the one extremely uncomfortable right now.” Kuroo whispers with a hint of regret on his face. The camera flashes start going off but something clicked between the two of you that you two end up laughing. It’s probably the awkwardness and the nerves that’s been hanging on the air that something so shallow as Kuroo admitting his uneasiness, cracked you both up.

It was just a brief exchange of laughter but you feel relaxed. Even though Mistuki is pretty cool for a creative director, she’s still as serious as any professional. So when you see her smiling as you apologized for the delay, you’re a bit shocked.

“No worries dear. Let’s continue then.”

You feel more confident now. You’re you. The reason you became successful on an international level is because of your professionalism and ability to produce quality results.

From being seated on the counter, you’re a few centimeters taller than Kuroo. That completed the idea in your head. You took the glass drink and placed it on your right hand. “Put your hands on my hips,” you tell him then lightly lift his chin with your index finger, “and look at me like you worship me.” The command earned a raised eyebrow from him but you pay no heed to it.

You extend an arm over his right shoulder, the glass dangling on your fingertips. With your index finger on his chin, you look to the camera with provocative eyes. If anything looks wrong with Kuroo, you’ll just let Mitsuki handle it. After all, she’s the one who asked him to be a part of this. 

“Oh yea! That’s really good.” Compared to before, she looks pleased with the shots now. The pose was captured a few times before she speaks again. “Instead of using your finger, grab his hair to tilt his head back.” You comply immediately and tugs his locks downwards. You might’ve done it a bit rougher than you wanted because you heard a raspy grunt from his throat. You got distracted, so instead of looking at the camera, you look at him. 

You regret it. When you said he should look at you with worship, you didn’t think he’d do it this well. Because his hair is pushed completely all the way back, you see every aspect of his face. Nothing was blocking his eyes that were full of yearning and desire. He’s looking at you like you’re not just the hottest girl in the bar, but the most beautiful person he’s ever laid eyes one. 

“Pull him closer and look here y.n.” You do as you’re told, thankful that you needed to look somewhere else. “Damn. You two look so good right now.” She gently claps her hands while looking at the monitor.

“I’m already satisfied, but let’s just do one more for another option. Umm, Kuroo. You be the aggressor this time. Y/n, …. you know what to do.” She winks after.

Well, not really you don’t. She just wants you to do the thinking on what to do. You put the glass down and put both your hands on his shoulders. “Help me down?” You ask with an easygoing smile. You don’t want to ruin the momentum of the shoot, so you decide to be nice to him for now. 

“You got it,” then his hand travels up your waist and guides you down back to the floor. You tell him to lean on the counter. He follows with no complaints. You get his arm and ushers him to wrap it on your waist. When he goes along with your silent instruction, you raise your leg to his side. 

“Tug my skirt up to my thighs.”

He doesn’t react and just squints at you.. “Huh?” Since he did not grasp what you meant, you take it to yourself to do it and slowly gather the material at the ends. Then, you yank it up to your thigh. “Get it?” He whistles as he gets the cloth from your hands. “Hey. Don’t do that. If you’re a real model, you’d be in trouble if I report that behavior.”

“But I’m not a real model, am I?” You glare at his provocation. You won’t be having any of his crap at your workplace. “Kuroo,” you say with a menacing glare and he immediately gets the threat behind it. “My bad, my bad. I’ll behave again, kay? Stop scowling now.” You relax your face and take a deep breath. “Moving on then.” You enclose your left arm on his neck while you plant your right on his chest. You don’t want to direct him any further than this. If this is unsatisfactory, Mitsuki will say something. 

Aaaand she does. “Kuroo-san. Aggressive please. Own her. You don’t want her to get away from you.” Upon hearing Mitsuki’s additional instructions, everything about him intensifies three folds. He pulls you even closer, causing your breath to hitch when his face is dangerously near yours all of a sudden. His sleeves don’t do anything to mask the firmness of his arms. And even with the velvet fabric, you can still the strength of his thighs as they’re pinned on yours. The heat of his hand ignited the skin of your thigh as he clutched the fabric and your flesh forcefully. And his eyes, they no longer worship you. They spoke of something similar, but not quite. 

He wants to devour you whole. 

It was too overwhelming for you, so you look away and close your eyes dramatically to make it seem like you’re being swept away in the moment. After one camera flash, “Okay dear, but I need you to look at him this time.”

The few seconds of breaking away from his fiery stare did you some good. You were able to collect yourself again, but not enough to truly look at him. You just focus your gaze right between his eyes as you did earlier. 

“Nooo. When I said look at him, I meant  _ really _ look at him. Respond with your own passion. You’re looking a bit of a scared vegetable right now, honey.” You’ve never had feedback like that in forever. Maybe when you tried modeling the first few months, you received something similar to that. But never when you started doing it full time. 

You don’t want to, but you have to. You finally meet his gaze and tap into something inside yourself that you’ve been holding back. You let your desire for him deluge you, let it surge through your veins until you’re aching for him. You push yourself even closer to him, not allowing even air to pass between your bodies. 

“Yes! YES! You want him so much, but you shouldn’t.” 

It was just as she said. You want him so much, so much that it almost hurts. You part your lips slightly as you get lost in the moment.

“Oh my God.” Her words sounded distant. It was there. You can hear it, but what clouded your senses was your heart pounding hard against your chest, his hot breath mingling with yours, and the way his eyes are now devoted to your lips. Not long after, he angles his face so that your lips are almost touching. Just a tiptoe and a kiss will already take place. You clench your fingers on his shirt, holding yourself back from that one tiny push that will allow you to feel his lips on yours again. 

“Holy Shit! HOLY SHIT! That was it. That was the money shot.” Mitsuki’s shrill voice which was followed by her squeal broke the trance you were in. You know what she meant. The shoot is done. Yet, you still feel hot. The heated atmosphere around you two still hasn’t caved in. He let go of your thigh as you put some space away from him. You settle your hands on his shoulders while you rest your forehead on his chest. He doesn’t move either. His hand remains on your waist, but without the force this time. With his other hand, he caringly skims the curve of your shoulder. 

“You okay, kitten?”

His voice is so gentle, you nearly convince yourself that it sounded loving. You nod weakly before heading back to the dressing room without saying anything. 

Kuroo’s gaze followed your back as you disappeared. He was amazed but also bothered at what just happened. You looked really into it, like you really wanted him. If the shoot didn’t finish any sooner, he might have closed that tiny gap that separated your lips from his. He’s been aching for you for so long that his control is slipping inch by inch every time there’s an opportunity to cross that line of friendship you set. When he saw you let go and completely relent within his hold, it was maddening at how he couldn’t have you at the moment. What’s worse is that even without the glamorous set, he knows you’re still not his to have. 

He walks towards the room where his clothes were hung and changes back to his usual suit. He asked the make up staff to remove everything on his face. He doesn’t like the feeling of having a layer of cosmetics on his skin. The hair they couldn’t do anything about because they used a lot of product to fix it up. 

When he gets out of the room, Mitsuki approaches him with a satisfied look on her face

“You did so well for someone with no experience at all. Do you have a card? I can hook you up for other gigs. You’ll do great.”

He smiles graciously at her generous offer, but he doesn’t want it. “Sorry, but I’m not really interested. I only did it cause it was her.” He said truthfully. Mitsuki’s mouth curled in amusement. “You know, y.n’s really good to work with. She always had this cool facade that never went down, and it works for her. We love her for it. But today,” she pauses as she gives him a meaningful look. “I’ve never seen her show such vulnerability and rawness. It was,” she sighs with admiration for you.

“Beautiful, wasn’t it?” He knows exactly what she’s saying. After all, he has seen several times how captivating your authenticity can be. 

“Soo, are you two dating or what?” Her eyebrows twitch up and down from anticipation at what he’s about to answer. He badly wants to say yes, but he doesn’t have that luxury. “Naaah. Like she said, I’m just a friend.”

She’s obviously dissatisfied with his response. He is too, but that’s the lousy truth. Out of the blue, she takes her phone out. “Too bad though. You two looked really good here.” She showed him the photo and it was you and him earlier. You were seated in the counter with your arms on his shoulders and his hands on your waist. It was when you were both laughing at his stupid statement.

“Can you send me that photo?”

“Why should I?”

He’s well aware of what she’s trying to do. It’s a business transaction, except for the lack of formality. She wants to get something in return, and he knows exactly what it is. 

“You’re good.” He admits with an impressed glint in his eyes.

“I am. So what’ll it be?” He knows that she knows she has the upperhand of the negotiation. She could probably tell that there’s something going on with the two of you. It’s just a matter of deciding which information to give her. But he didn’t have the fortune of having too many options. He didn’t want to reveal the nature of your relationship before. He wasn’t sure of your feelings for him. He can only speak for himself. 

“Fine. I sorta like her.” 

Her eyes brighten up. “Aha! I knew it. You should totally ask her out, kay? You’re gonna have tall and beautiful babies.” She put one hand on her cheek and closed her eyes while screeching at her own daydream of you and him getting together. When she calms down, she sends you the image file. “For real though. I’ve never seen her like that,” she points to your dazzling face in laughter in the photo. 

“Hey. What’re you two talking about?” You’re back to your normal clothes, but your hair and makeup was still there. 

“Nothing. Let’s go now?” He spoke immediately before your nosy director could say something. He walks to your direction before heading out together. “Bye! Update me, Kuroo-san!” Mitsuki said as she waved goodbye. You couldn’t help but be curious on what he should update her about. 

The rain stopped so no more umbrella horseplay. When you both get inside his car, you immediately ask him, “What was that about?”

“Uhh. She asked if I wanted to do other modeling projects.”

“Do you?”

He didn’t hesitate before answering, “No. That sort of stuff is not for me. I only did it to piss you off.” He starts the engine, then pivots his body to face you. “I must say though. I enjoyed seeing you eyefuck me.” Just when you are getting used to the peaceful, non-smug Kuroo, his true personality kicks right back in. Good thing you took your time getting changed and basically just calmed yourself down. 

“Glad you did. That’s the most you can get from me after all.”

His smile turned upside down at your remark. “Tch.” Your lips tug upwards at the side from his lack of retaliation. 

“I haven’t told you yet, but it wasn’t my first modeling experience.” 

You’re a bit surprised. Even though he has the appearance of a model, you didn’t think he’d do it. You agree with what he said just a while ago. It wasn’t for him. He’s best at his job right now. 

He gets his phone and scrolls up. He must be looking for a photo to show you as proof. When you see his screen, your heart swells. It was you and him a year ago. The neckline of your shirt was pulled to your shoulder for a makeshift off-shoulder while he knotted his t-shirt to form a crop top. You two wore large smiles while posing silly in front of the cam. It was right after when you told him that you’re a model.

“I- you... umm. You kept these?” You swipe the screen and see every single photo you took that day. Not one was deleted. You remember the laughter and absurd joy behind each frame. 

“Yea. Why wouldn’t I?”

One more swipe and there’s no other photo after yours. That’s when you notice that the photos are in the Favorites album. You felt like you were about to tear up. You’ve never felt so cherished in your whole life. Even though you left without saying a proper goodbye and no indication of going back, he still kept them. You tried so hard to forget about him, yet there he was, keeping these small tokens of what you had - proof that you really had been a part of his life.You felt something inside you crumble piece by piece. You should be scared, but at the moment, you don’t feel any fear. Instead, you were enraptured. 

You can feel your cheeks hurting from how wide your grin is. You don’t bother hiding it from him. 

“Can you send these to me?” You turn to him with the smile still plastered on your face, but he frowns at your question. 

“Those photos came from you.” 

You look back at his phone, your big smile reduced into a faint one that’s traced with melancholy. “I deleted them when I went to the US.” If he asks why, you wouldn’t know how to answer. Fortunately, he doesn’t. He gets his phone back from your hand and fiddles with it a bit. A few seconds later, you hear a notification from your own phone. When you open it, all the photos are sent to you. 

He looks at you warmly, his face devoid of anything but heartfelt fondness. “There. Like you never got rid of them.”

\---

You lie on your bed with bottomless thoughts that night. Kuroo’s words weighed more than they should in your head as you stare at the photos. 

You deleted them to completely erase any trace of his existence in your life. Now they’re back in your phone with not a single photo missing from the stack. Ironically, it’s also you who asked for them back. Yet, you don’t mind. You came to accept that those memories existed. They happened. There’s no use trying to forget they did when he’s already back in your life anyways.

Looking at you and Kuroo in the images, you can’t avoid thinking how simple those times were. You were just two cool people who had sex for fun. You had no clue things would happen as they did - falling for him, leaving, and for some reason - destiny or whatever, meeting him again. The past you tried to leave behind crept up to you and there wasn’t anything you could do about it.

You thought you’ve moved on. You’ve thoroughly convinced yourself that you’ve disposed of all unnecessary emotions that involved Kuroo. You thought that whatever it is that you felt when you met him again was just remnants of yesterday. You were so wrong. That‘s just what you tried to tell yourself, repeating the idea over and over in your head until you believed it. 

But it never really happened. You haven’t forgotten about him. When you went on dates in the U.S., you’d remember him. So you stopped trying to see anyone and attributed that to being scared of getting hurt again. Hence, you shut yourself out to anyone until you no longer found dating to be interesting. You told yourself getting in a relationship would just get in the way of your career. 

That wasn’t true. 

The truth is just as he said. Your feelings for him are still there, you never did get rid of them. The question now is how to proceed from here.

You jerk when your phone rings right at your hand. 

‘Kuroo’

You don’t want to answer it. You basically just admitted to yourself that you’re still in love with him. Hearing his voice right now would be dangerous for your fragile heart.

But it might be something important. He doesn’t usually call.

You press the answer button. You were about to say hello, but your heart was beating so fast that you were unable to get any word out.

“Hello?”

You swallowed the lump in your throat so you could speak. “Yeah?”

“Is something wrong? You sound a bit off?” How he could tell even through a phone call is unbelievable. “Everything’s fine. Why’d you call anyways?” You do your best to sound normal.    
  
“Block your Thursday next week. I’m throwing a party.”

“What for?”

“Mmm. Just felt like having one.”

You minimize the call to check your calendar if you had any plans that day. “Alright. I have an event in the morning, but that night’s free.”

“Nice!!” He sounded a bit too glad. 

“Is that why you called?” It’s a bit suspicious that he rang you just for that. It’s just a party. He could’ve texted you instead. 

“Why? Am I not allowed to call when I want to?” Your heart skips a beat from the playful tone in his voice. You picture him smirking on his phone while he’s lying in bed. You bite your lip at the image in your head. 

Screw you and your stupid imagination. 

“Good night, Kuroo.” You said dismissively. It doesn’t seem like he’s going to say anything else important anyways. He chuckles from the other line before speaking so ever softly with tenderness that gives you butterflies in your stomach.

“Good night, kitten.” 

It was just a simple good night but you were reeling. You fight the smile that was forcing itself to form on your lips. You look at your photos one more time and sigh. 

You are so in love with him. 

On the other end, Kuroo is all smiles to himself. Nothing beats hearing your voice after a long day. Once again, he stares at the photo Mitsuki gave him that afternoon. He wishes it was real. He wishes you were smiling for him, laughing with him, and happy with him. If only you gave any indication that you like him more than a friend, he would’ve made his move. 

Even though he knows you still desire him, he wouldn’t settle for just sex. He doesn’t want a repeat of the past. He wants something further than that and more importantly, you deserve better than that. But so far, he could tell you were enjoying the friendship and companionship only. Even if he wanted to take things forward, he’s not sure that that’s what you want. You haven’t given anything away for him to make his move. He doesn’t want to risk it and have you running for the hills. 

Will he ever make you fall for him? Should he just leave things as is or do something bolder for you to realize that to him, you’re not just a friend?

He sighs. 

He’s so in love with you.

  
  



	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Birthday to my favorite captain!!

You’ve decided. 

You’re going to tell him. You just couldn’t hold it in anymore. After that phone call, you couldn’t reply to his texts without getting nervous. When he asked you for dinner one night, you made up an excuse not to go because you were scared that he’d see through you. You don’t plan to avoid him. You just want some time to collect yourself before you face him again. Unfortunately, you didn’t have much of that. His party is tonight. Because you were so flustered during the call, you didn’t ask any details about the party. You only asked what it's for, but he didn’t really give any specifics. 

‘I just felt like it.’

That’s the only thing he told you. You don’t know who are the people going. You don’t even know what to wear.

You’d call Kenma but you’re not sure if he’s actually invited. You’re left with no choice but to ask the guy himself. You get your phone and shoot him a message.

‘Where and when is the party? What do I wear?’

You weren’t expecting a quick reply because it was still working hours, but your phone vibrates before you can put it down. 

‘Something like what you were wearing in my grad party. Kenma will pick you up.”

You’re relieved that it was Kenma and not him. You couldn’t imagine being alone with him in that tiny space of his car. You realized that this will be the first time you and Kenma will get a chance to talk to each other without Kuroo around. It couldn’t be more perfect. He’s the perfect person to tell your dilemma to. 

You finished your scheduled shoot that morning and went shopping for what you can wear. While you were looking for dresses, you determined that you should just tell him tonight. After the party, you’d ask him to drive you home. You’ll do it during the ride. You weren’t going to confess for the purpose of moving your relationship forward. You just want to let it out of your system. You believed that when you say it this time, you can finally move on from your feelings. You’ll just talk it out like two adults. You still want to be friends with him and Kenma. Surely, you could still be that even when he rejects you. It’ll be awkward at first, but it’ll pass. Before you even know it, it’ll just be laughing matter between you two. 

You become more meticulous in choosing what to wear. In the end, you decided with a white leather bustier and a high waist black skirt that went just below your knees. You throw in a brown cropped jacket so you won’t get cold. Sure you’d get rejected, but at least you’ll be exceptionally pretty when you do.

—

When you get in Kenma’s car, nostalgia hits you. Around a year ago, it was him in your car when you were crying your eyes out like an idiot.

“How’ve you been y/n?” It wasn’t small talk. He honestly wanted to know how you’ve been since he hasn’t been around much.

“Awful recently. I realized I’m still in love with that bastard.” You don’t mince between words and go straight to what you wanted to talk about. You’ve been keeping it all to yourself that when your trusted confidant is there, you just had to say it immediately. 

He glances at you briefly, then returns his eyes on the road. His face remains impassive.

“What do you plan to do about it?”

You sigh. “I’ll tell him later.”

Even from the side profile, you noticed the way his eyes lit up with amusement and the way the corner of his lip twitched. You know what he’s thinking. He probably finds it a bit funny you’re going to try again despite what happened last time. 

“Is it weird that would?” Your words coated with doubt. You were determined in your decision, but if Kenma thinks otherwise, your composure will plummet down and you’re not sure you can recover.

“No. You should do it, y/n. You never know.” He was more than encouraging. He sounded like it was definitely the right thing to do. 

When you made up your mind that you’d confess, you had no expectations. You know that Kuroo’s just flirtatious and touchy because of the previous nature of your relationship. Those couldn’t mean anything else. 

But Kenma knew Kuroo better than you did. They go way way back. With Kenma’s statement, a bud of hope sprouts from your once unexpecting heart. He wouldn’t say that if there’s no likelihood that Kuroo has feelings for you too.

You managed to calm yourself before. Now that you thought you and Kuroo can actually happen, you feel your nerves fluctuating.

“Wish me luck, Kenma.”

The stoplight turns red. With the car stopped, Kenma looks at you with warm and supportive eyes.

“You don’t need it, y/n.”

The bud of hope you had earlier was watered and fertilized by those four little words. Maybe there really is something more than just friendship for you and Kuroo. You push back the surge of confidence you were feeling. You didn’t want it to get in your head. You still were going to tell him the same things you rehearsed in your head this afternoon. The only difference is now there’s a chance that you won’t get totally turned down.

You didn’t talk about it further with Kenma. He gave you what you were looking for and he didn’t ask about the details as well. You move the topic to him and the rest of the drive was spent talking about his career and yours. It was mostly about what happened when you left.

You both arrive at the hotel. Apparently, Kuroo rented the bar of the building. When you entered the place, there were many people there already, people you didn’t know. How glad you were that at least Kenma was there. You’d assume this is a work-related party, but the people don’t look like they’re from the business side of things. Everyone looked like they’re about the same age as you.

A man with slicked back brown hair approaches. “Kenma! How’s our resident CEO?” 

“Still the same, Yaku.” If Kenma knows him, he might be someone from their high school. The guy looks at you and stares for a few seconds, admiration quite transparent on his face.

“Hi.” You smile courteously.

A faint blush surfaces on his cheeks once he realized he was indeed staring. “Oh hello.” He recovers quickly and adds, “I didn’t know Kenma has a girlfriend.”

You were about to correct him, but Kenma already spoke before you were able to say anything. “She’s not my girlfriend. She’s Kuroo’s …uhhh, friend.” Even to a stranger, that pause was very telling. Even though you liked it to be what Kenma was implying, you didn’t want anyone to misinterpret your relationship with Kuroo. Especially when it really isn’t like that. 

“Y/n. I’m a friend of Kenma and Kuroo.” You took the liberty of introducing yourself properly and clear any possible misunderstanding.

“Morisuke Yaku, former teammate of this guy here and that rooster head.” Your smile widens at the nickname. You’ll be using that next time when you have your usual banter battles. “Speaking of which, where’s the birthday boy?” Yaku asked.

Birthday boy? 

People suddenly started clapping and cheering. You turn around to see the commotion and find Kuroo to be the center of attention. “There he is.” Yaku looks at Kuroo who’s currently being greeted by persons he was passing by. “See you later, y/n. I have to greet the stupid celebrant.” He gives a quick wave and walks to Kuroo.

Holy crap! It was his birthday? That’s why the people in the room looked like his age. They’re his friends he invited to celebrate with him. 

Last time, you weren’t able to celebrate his personal graduation party. Now, you attend his birthday party without knowing it’s his birthday. You came empty-handed. You harshly faced Kenma. “Why didn’t you tell me it was his birthday?!”

“Huh? Didn’t he tell you?”

“No! He just said he was throwing a party. I thought it was work-related or whatever.” Kenma suddenly coughs and looks straight ahead. You follow his line of vision which traveled to Kuroo who is now only a few steps away from you. 

You thought you were prepared for the whole confession jazz you were about to do, but at the sight of the man on the receiving end, your head became a fumbling mess. If anyone could see your brain right now, they’d probably see fumes steaming out as you drill it with one question after another. 

What do you say to him?  
How should you act?  
Do you look weird right now?  
How do you normally talk again?

Kenma taps your shoulder. “Just greet him a happy birthday y/n.” He said softly beside you. He must’ve noticed that you suddenly went rigid.

“Heey. Glad you made it.” Kuroo’s delighted smile erased all the worrying in your head. He looks happy with his friends coming together today. 

At that moment, you decided to delay your plans for now. It was his day. You didn’t want to burden him today with the need to tell him your feelings. Even with Kenma’s encouragement, you just weren’t entirely sure that Kuroo sees you the way you see him. For tonight, you’re going to pretend everything’s fine.

“I did say I’d come, right?” You smile back at him and go for a friendly hug. “Happy Birthday.” You say softly while still enveloped in his arms. “Thanks, kitten” You’re about to let go but he prolongs the embrace, his one hand going up to the back of your head. 

You’re a second away from panicking when someone calls his attention, causing him to release you. 

“Catch you later?” He asked you before going back to other guests. “Go ahead, birthday boy.” You’re glad to still have at least a tiny percentage of your sass with you right now.

“Please tell me you’re still going to do it.” Kenma said behind you. You let out one heavy puff. “Not tonight.” He groans while rubbing his face with frustration.

“I’ll head out for a bit.”

“Where are you going? He might look for you.”

“Just at the balcony. I need some air.” You pat his shoulder with a smile before heading towards the veranda. It was true that you needed some air.

When you opened the glass door leading outside, the cold breeze welcomed you in its full glory, but you embraced it. 

You stare blankly at the building and the night sky as you lean your elbows on the railings. This is nice. It’s not totally quiet. You could still hear the muted chatters inside, but you feel isolated from them. For once, you felt alone even from your own thoughts. It felt great. You weren’t even aware of it, but you realized just now that ever since you came back to Japan, you were always preoccupied. If it wasn’t your job, it was Kuroo. 

Weirdly, even though your thoughts drifted back to him just now, you still feel at peace. It must be the ambiance.

You hear someone open the door leading to where you are. You have no problems having small talk with strangers, but right now, you didn’t want to be disturbed. You don’t get moments like this at all. If you’re lucky, they won’t talk to you.

You continued minding your own business until someone stood beside you. Still, you pretended not to notice them, whoever they are.

“What’s a pretty lady doing all alone out here?”

You rested your chin on your palm as you face the source of the voice. Of course you knew who it was. You didn’t even have to look at him. 

A humored grin crept on your lips when you see him resting his back and elbows against the metal balustrade.

“What’s the star of the night doing out here?” You countered. It’s strange. You don’t feel nervous. You are alone with the object of your affection. You thought you’d fidget at least a little. 

“Got a little tired from entertaining everyone. Just wanted to take it easy for a while.” He responded while staring blankly at the direction of the bar. Like you, he found the stillness of the atmosphere relaxing. You could see it in his face.

“Why didn’t you tell me it was your birthday?”

He chuckled. “Cause knowing you, you’d buy some expensive shit I probably don’t need.”

“So? It’s not like I can’t afford them.”

He stood straight, only to turn to the same direction you were facing. He slouched and placed his elbows on the railings while his eyes took in the busy streets of Tokyo.

“You being here today is enough already.”

His statement contained no humor. It wasn’t affectionate either. He just threw the words plainly in the air like an objective truth.

Only comfortable silence followed as you eye the same scene he’s watching. You don’t know what was it that came over you, but it just felt like it was the perfect time to say it. You’ll be disregarding that it was his birthday, but you don’t mind. You should say it now. 

“Listen, Kuroo.”

When your orbs meet his, you don’t falter. More than anything, you feel more sure about the next words that are about to come out of your mouth. “I’m—

“Kuroo-san!”

You both look at the doorway leading back to the bar from which a light blonde lady and a gray haired guy came out. They look awfully familiar, like you’ve seen them somewhere. 

“Lev. Alisa. What are you doing here?” 

The Russian siblings. You’ve seen them on a billboard. They’re big names in Japan, according to what you’ve heard from the people you’ve worked with when you came back. 

“What do you mean ‘what are we doing here?’ You invited us.” Lev said. 

Kuroo sighed and looked irritated. “I mean right here on this balcony.”

“We couldn’t find you inside.” Lev replied before he shifted his attention to you. “Wow. Woow! Kuroo-san. Is that y.n?” He turned to Kuroo as he asked. “Oh right! You guys model too.” Kuroo introduced the three of you properly. “Oh my Gosh. You look even prettier in person.” Alisa said with eyes twinkling in admiration while she gapes at your face. 

You’re used to flattery, but it feels weird coming from other models, especially her. She had gorgeous green eyes and natural blonde hair. She’s also taller than you. You honestly think that if you two entered the room at a same time, the attention would all be on her. 

“How did you and Kuroo meet?” She questioned inquisitively. You’ve never had to answer that question. It was always a question of how you and Kuroo related, now how you two met. “Uhhh. Well..” You think hard of a possible scenario where you and Kuroo could have possibly made acquaintances, one that doesn’t involve alcohol and sex. 

“Met her at a party during uni days. She also knows Kenma.” Kuroo answered for you. 

It wasn’t a lie, but it sounded normal. Now you know what story to tell when someone else asks. 

“I see. Nice to meet you, y.n!” She said enthusiastically right before clinging to Kuroo’s arms. You were shocked at the gesture. Kuroo didn’t seem to mind though. Were they close enough for that amount of physical contact?

“Happy Birthday Kuroo-san!” The siblings greeted in unison with jovial tones. Alisa suddenly looks at you. “Is it okay if we take him for a while?” The way she asked was very pleasant and kind, but it annoyed you. You were about to tell Kuroo something extremely important. You already overlooked the fact that they barged in at that moment. Now, they’re going to drag him away with her holding onto him. 

“Actually, we were talking.” Kuroo said hesitantly. “Eh? It’ll just be a while. And they’re also looking for you inside.” Lev voiced out. 

There were many times you had to fake a smile, but this one, this one takes the cake. It took everything from you to make it as genuine as you wanted. “It’s okay! You should go with them, Kuroo.” 

‘Resist some more.’ You pleaded in your head, only to be disappointed. 

“I’ll be back, I swear.” The determination in his voice didn’t help lessen the displeasure you have on what’s happening. Your jaws are hurting from the effort you put in smiling. As soon as they turn their backs on you, your eyes squint at where Alisa’s and Kuroo’s limbs are connected. You didn’t think Kuroo was the kind to be that cozy with other women. You tried to reason with yourself that maybe they’re just really close. You’re not the only lady friend after all. 

But it wasn’t working. You’re downright exasperated that some other girl took him right when you’re about to confess to him. Did they have any idea how your week has been, constantly thinking about him and him only? Everything was going so smoothly and they just had to ruin it. 

Even if Kuroo will be back, he won’t be back to how he left you there. Hell no. That’s not how it’s going to be. It’s just impossible to be that calm again when you’re boiling over like this. 

You decide that the best way to spend the rest of the night is to spend it with a long lost friend - liquor. You haven’t been drinking at all since you flew to U.S. and you never went out partying like you did here in Japan.

You stomp back inside. 

“Anything with vodka.” You told the bartender as soon as you reached the counter. 

While waiting for your drink, you automatically look for Kuroo. He’s surrounded by his friends with Alisa on his side. She’s pressed a little too close to him for your liking. 

The realization that hit you wasn’t a welcome one. 

You were not just irked. You’re jealous. You’re fucking jealous for Christ’s sake. You took your seat and palmed your forehead. You’ve never been more thankful to a bartender when your drink arrives. 

You drank the mix like it was water. You needed it. You were so upset. Not only were you not able to admit your feelings, you also got jealous when you had no right to be. They were probably just friends anyways. 

It’s too early to be drinking, but you don’t give a damn. “Hey.” You called out the bartender. “Keep them coming until I tell you to stop.” 

It was on your fourth glass when you felt the aftermath of drinks you raced to finish. You didn’t even have to move for you to know that your sense of balance is getting wobbly. 

“Y.n.? You okay?” 

Someone sat beside you. It sounded like a man, a concerned one. But you just laugh it off. “Please. If you’re not drinking with me, I’d rather not have this conversation.” You hear him sigh. “Gin and Tonic here.”

You swivel your chair so you could face him, which was a bad idea. The sudden motion made you extra dizzy. You slapped the cold marble of the counter to stop yourself from swirling further than you should. When you stabilize yourself, you take a good look at the person beside you. 

Brown hair, bright eyes. What was his name again? Toshisuke Gaku? Maku? Or was it Saku? 

“Hello, Taku-san.” You made your best impression to look sober. 

He softly laughed. “It’s Yaku actually.”

Lucky you, you were almost drunk so you just giggled. “Sorry. I blame these.” You pinpoint the three empty glasses and the fourth one that’s half finished. “Isn’t it a tad early to be getting drunk?” The bartender hands him his drink which he takes a sip at. 

“Yeah, it is.” Yet you continued drinking the liquor you asked for. You’d stop if it was making you feel any better, but it wasn’t. So you’ll keep drinking until it does. It isn’t like you to be reckless. But tonight, you’ll make an exception. You’ll just ask Kenma to drive you home when you’re wasted already. 

“Want to talk about it?” You couldn’t figure out if he was flirting or he’s being nice. You haven’t been into any dates, so you’re a bit rusty picking up if you’re being hit on.

“Not really.” You chose to be cautious. 

"I’m practically a stranger. Your secret will be safe with me.”

You scoff at him. “You’re not a stranger. You’re friends with Kuroo.”

He puts his glass down on the counter with gleaming eyes. “So it’s about him.”

What is seriously up with these people? Kuroo, Kenma, now this guy. They’re all too astute, it’s abnormal. “No, it’s not.” You denied. Even though he was spot on, you still wouldn’t admit it. 

“You keep peeking at him every once in a while.”

You take another sip. “Why are you hellbent on talking about him? I don’t want to talk about him.” You intended to sound ticked off, but the rising and falling of your voice from the alcohol failed you. He chuckled. “When I saw you a while ago, I thought you were the serious type of person.”

“I am! I’m just really tipsy right now.” That you admit. 

“I can see that.”

You involuntarily look at Kuroo to see if the Haiba lady is still with him. It’s been a great while now since he left with her. But there they are, still huddled with his other guests. 

You gulped straight your remaining drink. You’re going home. The alcohol is useless. You’re still pissed. You stood up from your seat. At the first step you take, the four glasses hit all at once. Your vision became unsteady. Your feet can’t tell if you’re about to go straight or sidewards. You’re also not sure if you’re swaying or it’s just your head that’s spinning. 

On your second step, you confirmed that indeed, it was you who’s swaying. You tried to regain your footing, but it only made things worse. You trip.

“Oh shit.” Yaku exclaimed as he saw you about to go down.

Good thing he was fast on his feet to catch you. He grips your arms to support you, but it looks like the drinks you had caught up with you already as you groan on his chest. He tried to shake off the effect it had on him. 

You are extremely attractive. He couldn’t take his eyes off you when he first saw you, but he sensed that something’s going on with you and Kuroo. You just confirmed his speculation from that tiny exchange you had. Him and Kuroo usually had contrasting tastes, but you happen to be one of the few exceptions. 

You try to hoist yourself up by gripping the fabric on his chest. You’re a bit taller than him, but you were slumped at him from the way you staggered earlier. You lift your head up and look at him with misty eyes. Crap, you’re too pretty even when at the brink of drunkenness. “I’ll call for Kuroo, okay?” That way, you’ll be out of his hands already. 

“Don’t!” You frantically opposed. “I’m going home. Please help me call a cab.” You suddenly giggle like a kid. “Apparently, I suck at it.”

That’s when he knew that the alcohol had fully set in your system. You were guarded not long ago and now you’re being cutesy and comfy with him. He couldn’t believe you thought you could go home by yourself like that. 

He should call Kuroo, or Kenma at least. But how can he do that when you look like you’ll fall on your face without assistance? 

To make things worse for him, your hands that were previously just on his chest crawl up to his shoulders as you rest your cheek on the crook of his neck. “Mmmm.” You put your weight against him as you relax within his hold. 

Oh no.

You passed out. 

On another side of the party, his own party, Kuroo couldn’t wait for the non-stop chatters to end. He held this party because he wanted to get everyone he knew together. Since everyone invited was almost related to Volleyball, he thought it’d be more like a reunion and he’d just be the sponsor. He didn’t plan to be the star of the night. It wouldn’t be so bad if Lev and Alisa didn’t bother you when you were about to say something important. He’s getting ahead of himself, but for a moment there, it seemed like you were about to confess. 

He’ll let Taketora finish whatever he’s saying then he’s going back to you. His eyes roamed around to see if you went back inside.

Someone must have said something funny because everyone around him suddenly laughed, everyone except him. He didn’t hear shit about what it was. All he focused on was you’re comfortably snuggled up on Yaku.

“Excuse me.” He didn’t even look back before he marched as fast as he could to reach you. 

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Yaku?” He gave the former Nekoma libero a threatening glare. Seeing you cozied up with someone else, even if it’s his friend, right on his birthday made him seethe with anger. Still, he lowered his voice to avoid unwanted attention. “I’m not doing anything, dipshit. She drank like hell while you left her alone. You dumbass.” 

That alleviated his temper. For one thing, Yaku was right. He did leave you all alone. Most of the people here knew each other. You were practically an outsider. He should’ve introduced you to everyone. He was used to your self-reliance that he became unmindful of your situation. Still, what made you drink until you got this wasted? 

He shook his head from the lack of answer and from his own unthoughtfulness. 

He carefully takes your hand to gently wake you up. “Hey.” You raise your head and meet his eyes. At the sight of him, you instantly let go of Yaku and went to him on your own accord. You put your head against his chest and clutched his bicep with your other hand that he wasn’t holding. 

You groan before murmuring, “Kuroooo.” 

“Yes, kitten?”

“ _Happy Burthdaaay_.” You already greeted him first thing a while ago, but this one softened him up. Even at your intoxicated state, it was his interests that are present in your mind. 

“Yaku, can you tell Kenma that I’m leaving the party to him?” 

Before Yaku could respond, Kenma beat Yaku to it. “I’m right here.” Kenma must have followed him when he walked away all of a sudden in the middle of their group’s conversation. 

“I’m leaving the party to you for a while.”

Kenma made a face as soon as he saw you flopped onto him, but Kenma didn’t complain. “Come back as soon as you can.”

He nods before slowly walking away with you hanging on to him. When you and Kuroo exit the place, Yaku walks to Kenma’s side.

“How long do you think before he comes back?” Yaku asked. 

Kenma took a few seconds to reply. “He’s not going to come back.”

—

“I want my bed,” you mutter on your seat with your eyes closed. He thought you’d be comfortable since he reclined the seat so you can lie down a bit.

“We’re on the way to my place, okay?” His one hand briefly lets go of the wheel to caress your knuckles. You swat his hand away and whined.

“Nooo. I want my bed.” 

You look like you’re about to throw a tantrum if he refuses. 

“In my purse. Keys. My bed.”

He didn’t hear anything from you again. When he had the chance, he glanced at you. You must have slipped back to unconsciousness.

He’d prefer if he took you to his apartment, but he wouldn’t want you throwing a drunken fit when you get up and find that you weren’t at the comfort of your own home.

So he drove to your place. 

He goes to your side of the car and helps you get out of the vehicle. The nap you took didn’t do you any good. He tried to support your strides, but your legs were like jelly. 

He went in front of you and slouched a bit. “Get on my back.” You immediately obeyed him. He secures his grip on your legs as he starts walking towards your room. The place didn’t change so he still remembers where your unit is.

The guard almost halted him but didn’t do so when they saw that it was you he’s carrying. 

He let you down when you arrived at your door. 

“I feel like puking.” You covered your mouth with one hand.

Instead of answering, he quickly searched for your key card on your purse. If you’re gonna barf, you’re gonna do it inside. He hurriedly opens your door and assists you as you make your way to the kitchen sink. 

He caresses your back while you let out what you ingested earlier, which wasn’t a lot. It was mostly colored liquid, probably the ones you drank at his party.

“Feel better?”

You open the faucet to clean the mess you made, then you wipe your mouth before nodding to his question.

“Get me water please.”

You seat yourself on the edge of your bed while he gets what you asked for. 

He sits beside you before handing you a glass of water. 

Your eyes can now focus on something compared to earlier where you fluttered your lids just to fight the urge to pass out.

“Still fucked up, aren’t you?”

You laugh lowly. “The good kind though.” It was true. From being wasted, you’re now just happy drunk based on that amused grin playing on your lips.

He has no idea what’s going through your head. Maybe it’s just the alcohol coursing through you that made you feel elated. Still, he’s glad you’re somewhat okay now. He’d ask you what you were gonna say earlier, but he’ll be doubting any answer you’ll give. 

You did tell him before. You’re not you when you’re drunk. 

He’ll ask another time. For now, he’ll let you rest. 

He’s debating whether he should come back here later after the party or just leave you right now that you’re safe anyways. Honestly, he doesn’t want to come back to the party. He’d rather stay here and make sure you’d be okay, especially if you wake up in the morning with a hangover. 

Although you did let him in your place, it was only to take you home. You might flip if you wake up with him there. Also, the party was his. He kinda feels bad for Kenma who he left the burden to.

“Will you be okay?”

You place your palm on your sides as support while you lean back a little bit. “Yep. A-okay!” You simpered right after answering. 

He smiles at your cheerful drunk self. You’ll be okay. He’ll check up on you first thing in the morning to make sure.

“Call me when you need me, okay?” 

You grab his arm, halting him before he stands up. “You’re leaving already?” He almost thought that it was cute, but he couldn’t with the way you’re looking at him. 

You’re up to something. Something not good. Jesus Christ, he wanted to indulge you. But it’d be best to just ignore it. It’s all that liquor you drowned yourself with. “I still have my party, remember?”

“You won’t even kiss me good night?”

That heightened his awareness of the situation. It was just him and you, on your bed, with you stripped off of your inhibitions. One wrong move, and he might find himself doing something that will lead to regret when you’re both satiated. He hasn’t been enduring these past few months only for him to give in to your temptation now. He’s the sober one. He can keep things in check.

He moves closer to your face. You don’t even budge. Your eyes are fixated on his lips as he comes nearer, but his lips go up to your forehead instead. 

A flash of disappointment comes across your face, then you cackle all of a sudden. 

“What are we? In high school?” You continued laughing. He just stared at your overjoyed state. You didn’t need to be that vocal about your dissatisfaction in the kiss he just gave you. His plan to be nice to you tonight is still intact, but in the morning, he’ll give you a thorough narration of everything you did tonight. So sure, he’d let you enjoy whatever humored you at the moment. Tomorrow, it’ll be his turn. 

“When I said kiss,” your one hand creeps to his chest with your eyes following the movement. When your fingers reach his nape, you look into his eyes and softly say, “this is what I meant.”

You pull him in and press your lips onto his. 

He always imagined how this situation would go. Sometimes, when you talk, your words get tuned out and he can only think about how it’d be like to kiss you again. But no product of his imagination prepared him for this moment when he finally feels the lusciousness of your lips. When you open your mouth to nip his lower lip softly, all rational thoughts leave his head. Your taste was intoxicating and it wasn’t the trails of alcohol on your mouth. It was you, all you. 

You pull back right before he’s about to return the kiss.

Your hand leaves his neck, but your eyes keep locked with his. You don’t smile. You don’t move an inch. He does the same, as if you two are trapped in that point in time until one of you decides to shatter that moment. The air felt heavy as that fragile point of no return dangles dangerously between you two.

Even though he’s the sober one, he’s the first to give in.

“Fuck it.” 

His hand goes to the back of your head and reclaims your lips once again. He could not reciprocate your gentle kiss. He can only ravage your lips as he tries to make up for the time he’s lost you. It doesn’t help that you respond to him with the same intensity. It was a kiss that abandoned the boundary of friendship you both agreed to. At this point, he couldn’t give a shit as the clash of your tongues spur him on even more. 

He lets go of your lips. He moves to that nook just below your jaw and licks it right before sucking it softly. You let out a soft moan which made him smirk. He still knows your body all too well. 

Your hands that were gripping his shoulders frantically moved down to unbutton his suit. He takes off your jacket so he can trail down kisses on the curve of your shoulders. It’s been so long, yet he still hasn’t forgotten how you delicate your skin felt. He couldn’t get enough. He craved to do so much to you all at once. 

His one hand grips the side of your knees and hitches up the fabric of your skirt so he can feel the bare skin of your thighs. while the other snakes around your waist as his mouth moves down to your chest. As much as he loved the way your boobs looked with your top, it needs to go. He goes for your lips again as he fumbles with the clasps in front of your outfit. 

When he felt it come off, he pulls away for a moment just to take in the vision you provided, and holy fuck. You’re a sight straight from his fantasies. Your eyes are hazy with desire. You weren’t wearing anything beneath the top, so your unclad breasts graced his eyes as the garment still hung loosely on your shoulders. Your skirt’s yanked yup high enough that an inch more and he can already see what the cloth is concealing beneath it. 

You haven’t even touched him that much, but his arousal is already in its full glory. He’s so torn. He wants to fuck you slowly and delicately to savor the feeling of having you once again. But your appearance is making him want to do otherwise. 

“Why are you staring?”

Your question was real. You really had no idea why he was gaping at you. You had no idea how you look like a feast laid out for him and him only. 

He gets back to your bed and latches his lips onto yours again. You welcome him once more by grabbing the back of his head and treading your fingers on his hair. Instead of encasing you in his arms again, he gently moves you so that your back is against the headboard of the bed. He needs his two hands for all the things he’s going to do to your body. 

When your back is planted against the cushioned headboard, his hands proceed to cup your naked bosoms while he continues ravaging the delicious wonders of your lips. When he pinches the two hard buds, he earned himself a groan that you delivered right on his mouth. 

Even with his senses full of you, he didn’t miss how you clenched your thighs together. 

His lips wander down, taking his time as he sucks the skin leading to your breast. He swirls his tongue on the stiff nipple while he tweaks the other one with his deft fingers. You grasp his hair when he puts it between his teeth and gives it a soft tug. 

“Hnnnnng”

Your head is clouded with lust as Kuroo continues driving you wild with his tongue. It feels so good already. You are overwhelmed with nothing but the sensation he’s giving you. All you can do is take it as it assaults your whole being. The throbbing of your core only gets worse when his mouth showers your other breast with the same licking and sucking as he did with the other. 

Your thighs are quivering from how hard you’re pressing them together. He must’ve noticed since he suddenly pries them open with a nudge of his knee. That only made it worse though. Now there is nothing that’s appeasing the need in your center. 

You pull his head and look at him. 

“Touch me already.”

His fingers immediately trace the skin of your thigh until he’s grazing your clothed slit, but it still not enough. 

“Your underwear is soaked, kitten.”

How can it not be? You’ve been wanting to touch and be touched by him for so long. If your body didn’t feel as heavy and if your head just spun a little less, you would’ve shoved him on his back and rode him until you got your release. 

But as you requested, he did as you told. He removed your thong and threw it somewhere on your bed. At the first stroke of his fingers on the flesh of your damp cavern, you whimper already. Your hands fly to the edge of the headboard to steady yourself as you spread your legs open for his further ministrations. 

Kuroo always thought you were hot as hell. He leans back a bit so he could take a good look at your whole body positioned that way. He never underestimated the effect you had on him. But this is beyond being hot. You look like a fucking goddess. He could feel his precum oozing from his cock already. You just had to make it harder for him to keep it together. All he could think about now is burying is dick deep down your pussy that’s soaking wet just for him. 

“Why won’t you touch me?” Instead of impatience, your tone was woeful as if you thought that he didn’t want to do just that. You have no idea that he wants to do more than touching. 

Recovering from his entranced state, he gets back your lips right before tracing the wetness of your slit with his middle finger repeatedly. You breathe heavily with eyes closed as each stroke increases the ache in your groin. He moves his focus on your clit, rubbing the bundle of nerves in small tortuous circles. 

You remove one hand from the headboard to grab his tie, twisting the material in your hand, then pulling him closer so you can reach for his lips. Before you can even connect his mouth with yours, he slides in one digit inside your eager cunt. “Uhhhhhh,” your planned kiss suspended as his finger penetrates your walls. 

“That’s it. Let me hear you moan for me again.” 

He targets your neck again with open mouthed kisses while he quickens the thrusts of his finger. You really had no choice but to obey him, your obscene moans leak from your mouth as each thrust makes you crave him more and more. Barely slowing down, he pushes in another one. You arch your back from the sensuous stir it gave you. It’s been so long that you forgot how he can do a hell of a job in pleasuring you with only his fingers.

As he pumps in and out of you, his palm brushes your clit which adds to the rapture building up in your stomach. “Kuroo please.”

“Please what, kitten?” He doesn’t cut back on the speed of his fingers, his eyes completely absorbed in your face that has carnal delight pronounced all over. 

“Stop.” You whisper helplessly. 

He’s caught off guard since he probably thought you were about to cum, and you were. That’s why you had to stop him. With all the strength you can muster, you lift yourself up and push him against your headboard. You position yourself on his lap and cover his mouth yours while you briskly unbutton his polo, which was proving to be a task with your light-headedness. 

“Your suits are stupid. Stop wearing them.” Of course you didn’t mean that. He’s a treat to the eyes with his suit on. But they’re not the easiest to remove. 

He chuckles a few inches from your mouth right before gripping your fists that were trying to undress him. One fierce tug with his hands guiding yours, he rips off his own clothes, the buttons coming off loosely in all directions. 

“Better?” He asks with a breathy voice that made you gush even worse. Goddamn this man. He didn’t lose shape at all. He still looked as godly as you remembered.

Instead of answering him, you aim for his crotch and unzip his pants. His erection springs free from his pants, hard with moisture leaking from its tip. “Yes, better now.”

You place one hand on his shoulder while the other guides his member to your drenched entrance. You let go of it when the tip is in and support yourself by putting your hand on his other shoulder as well. 

Kuroo’s gaze is stuck on the spot connecting your bodies. He couldn’t take away his eyes on how your cunt slowly swallowed his length.

“What the fuck. You’re so tight.” It’s like he didn’t even prepare you just now. 

You wince as you sink yourself lower. You look at him with hints of tears in the corner of your eyes from the discomfort. “There hasn’t been anyone since you.”

He grabs your ass and in one vicious thrust, hauling you down on him as he shoves his dick completely inside you. 

“AHH!”

He pulls you in for a kiss as he lets you adjust to the feeling of being stuffed full. Never has someone made him feel good like you did. And it wasn’t just how you’re sitting on him right now with his cock inside you. 

It was the fact that you didn’t let anybody touch you the way he’s doing to you right now. You were still his despite the months that passed by with no communication and no idea of seeing each other again. He didn’t think he’d be the possessive type, but knowing he was your last increased the exhilaration of your lovemaking. 

Lovemaking? He sure wished that was the case for you, instead of just drunken sex with a former fuck buddy.

He caressed your shoulders, your waist, and down to your hips, waiting for you to give him a signal to move. But you don’t. 

With your eyes closed, you release your lips from his and rest your forehead on his. 

“I missed this,” you let out a heavy puff and add, “I missed you.”

The ache in your voice struck a cord on his yearning heart. He sweeps away the strands of hair stuck on your face. 

“Hey,” he softly said. 

When you open your eyes, he cups your cheek and ushers you to look at him.

“I missed you too, kitten.”

You give him a smile, the one that he revered so much, right before kissing him softly. Your mouths perfectly melded together, your lips nipping gently against each other until it escalated to a feverish clash of your tongues. Then, you lift your hips and take your time descending on him, making him aware once again how tight you are. 

And by God, you feel divine. 

“You’re so big,” you whimper.

“Hmm? But you’re taking me so well.”

After a few bobs, you have gotten used to him inside you and picked up the pace. He fought to keep his eye open despite the incredible urge to just close them and relish the way you’re bouncing on his dick. He wants to witness you lose yourself in carnal delight.

You pant heavily, the exhilaration, the fuzziness in your head, and the stress in your thighs all battling at the moment. Shortly, it was your muscles that made you cave in. You stop moving and bury your face on his neck. “I’m tired,” you weakly said. 

He strokes your hair lovingly before moving both his huge hands on your ass. “:Grind for me, kitten,” he spoke right in your ear, making you moan at his command before heeding it. You wanted to rest for a while, but the first thrust of your hip electrified your whole body that you craved for more. His hands on your ass alleviated most of the tension from your thighs and helped you move against him faster. His tip was hitting you deeper than it did before. The position created friction for your clit as you grind on his crotch. 

You push yourself up a bit so you have more control on your rhythm. Once you steady yourself, you move your hips in slow circles.

“Fuck, yes!” he groans as he whips his head back., but only for a moment as he lifts his head up and scandalously eyes your whole body. “Shit, you do me so well,” then captures a perk nipple on his mouth, sucking and licking on both buds alternately. He knew exactly how to drive you mad until it was pure delicious frenzy that took over your whole being. 

“You feels so good. _So gooooood_ —hhnnghh.” You shamelessly voice out, followed by a series of moans that grew louder and louder. It was equaled by his guttural groans that his throat produced.

Nothing else was distracting you anymore, only that increasing heat in your groin that you desperately chased. Suddenly, he stops you by gripping your ass forcefully. 

“Slow down.” He kisses a spot in your chest. “I want this to last for us.”

You whine and softly shake your head. “I don’t want to. Please don’t stop. Fuck me until I cum already.”

That’s exactly what he wants to do, but it’s been a while for you. He wanted to extract as much pleasure as he can from you, given your current state, before giving in to his own needs.

“Please, Tetsu.”

The last string he’s been holding onto snapped. You just had to pull that move, knowing fully well how feral he’ll get. “You want to cum that bad, huh?” With his hands still clutching your cheeks, he starts moving you again until you were viciously rutting against him. “Then ride me like you mean it.”

“Haaaa. Fuuuuuuuccccck.” He could feel your body tensing up every thrust you make.

Your body glistens with sweat from the repeated roll of your hips toward his. He loves how dirty your mouth gets when you’re about to cum. The sound of your uninhibited, obscene moans goaded him closer to his release. But no way he’d go first. No way he’d miss the look in your face when you reach the peak of pleasure.

“That’s it, kitten. Are you gonna cum for me?” 

“Yes.” He harshly bites one nipple while his one hand lands a firm spank on one ass cheek. “YES!!” Your movements get wilder and faster while you seem to forget that you have neighbors with how loud you are.

“I’m gonna cum. Gonna cum, Tetsu.” Your voice strained and a tad pitch higher.

“Do it. Milk my cock with your pussy.”

“AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! ”You wail as absolute bliss takes over your face, allowing him to take in how beautiful you looked as you seize that euphoric gratification. That was it for him. That was all he’s waiting for before he goes after his own climax. 

Your ass would probably bruise tomorrow from how hard he’s holding you. He closes his eyes and lets himself get lost on the pleasure of you savagely riding him. The pleasure he’s been keeping at bay quickly travelled to his groin with extreme intensity. 

“Holy fuck. HOLY FUCK.” He hauls your hips against him a few more times before he quickly takes out his cock at the highest point of his orgasm, shooting his load at your pelvis.

You throw your arms around him and dip your head in his neck. Only heavy breathes can be heard from the both of you. When you recover yours, your body completely relaxes against his. 

You must’ve fallen asleep right after coming down from your high. 

He sighs.

The sex was fucking great, but that’s all it was. Sex. Again. Nothing changed. He doesn’t regret it. He just wished things were different. 

You snuggle closer to him until you’re satisfied. He moves his hands to wrap you in his embrace, making the most of what he could get from you tonight. 

You seemed to like it based on the way you purred. You had no idea how his heart ached for this to last. Still, he couldn’t stop himself from smiling. He plants a soft peck on your shoulders right before you murmur something next to his ear.

“I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Food has been served. Enjoy!  
> \- Do you all remember when I said this was gonna be the last chapter? I was clowning myself. Apparently, I still had a lot going on in my smol brain.  
> \- I have so many upcoming collabs from our server. I even have an Oikawa fic going on too but I’ll do my best to update as fast as I can. Bear with me pls :((
> 
> Tumblr: @crescentsteel


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Thank you for your patience and sorry for the long wait.
> 
> tumblr: @crescentsteel

You haven’t even gotten up yet, but you already know that you have the worst hangover in your entire lifetime. You have this intense urge to throw up even though your stomach felt empty. Your head felt like it was being hammered on to your soft pillow. Your throat was dry. Your thighs hurt like hell.

How you wished you could go back to sleep, but even with your eyes closed, everything was still painful.

You had no choice but to get up and fix yourself since lying down wasn’t doing you any good. When you propped yourself up, regret hits you as the pulsating in your head worsens.

Why did you even drink in the first place?

You did your best to recall what happened last night despite the intense headache

You were going to confess to Kuroo. He was suddenly dragged away. Vodka. Brown hair Taku. No, it was Yaku.

Then darkness.

That was it. That was the last thing you could remember.

You raise your hands to your temples to gently knead them, hoping to alleviate even a little bit of the pain. How could that be the end of your memory?

You always thought black outs were a myth. Maybe because you’ve never experienced them until this morning.

In the past, you’ve had nights where you drank a lot more and stayed up until morning, but never had an episode like this. That was before you completely stopped drinking.

Last night, you got yourself smashed because Kuroo was taken away by some of his old friends. It was his birthday! Of course he couldn’t just stay by your side.

You hate yourself more than ever for letting your emotions take control of your better decision-making.

You cover your face with your hands and groan audibly loud at your own idiocy.

Instead of soothing yourself, you only made the headache worse.

You remove your blanket and see that you’re wearing different clothes from last night. You were still able to change your clothes before you went to bed? That’s weird. When you’re drunk and spent, you don’t bother changing at all.

How did you even get home in the first place?

You think even harder, but you remember nothing. You couldn’t imagine how you went home all by yourself safe and sound. It must be Kenma. Worst case scenario is it was Yaku. You really don’t like strangers in your place, but if it was him, at least he got you home safe.

“Good morning.” You look up to the source of the all too familiar voice.

He emerged from your kitchen with coffee in his hand. He was wearing his pants from last night and a white shirt. He looked like he didn’t get enough sleep but somehow, still lively.

What’s he doing in your apartment?

For Christ’s sake, can the questions in your mind be answered first before another one pops up? Your head feels like it’s being split in half already.

“Morning.” You said with a raspy voice that you weren’t expecting. Were you screaming at something last night? What could possibly be the reason if you were? Even if you were drunk, you weren’t the type to go all hyper and shout until your throat suffered.

“You okay?”

“No,” you replied with a barely audible voice.

When you tried to stand, you realized that you underestimated the ache in your thighs. It was like you exercised your lower body from how your butt cheeks hurt as well.

What the hell did you do last night?

“Ugh. I feel sick,” you murmured.

He went back to your kitchen. Instead of the mug he was previously holding, he was carrying a glass of water in his hand as he walked towards you.

He sat beside you and handed you a pain killer. You took it together with the drink he had.

On a regular day, you’d be cautious as to why he’s there so early in your apartment, but right now, you’re thankful. Even if it was just a few steps he saved you from, him being there allowed you to not move at all.

You gave him back the glass after gulping it until the last drop. The liquid soothed the uncomfortable dryness of your throat.

“Why did you get so plastered last night? You were a fucking handful, did you know that?”

His words were reprimanding, but his eyes and smile spoke of an entirely different emotion. He looked excited about something. It made you a bit nervous because you really might have done something outrageous based on how cheery he looked.

You’d ask him later. Right now, you wouldn’t be able to deal with him making fun of you.

“No reason. I didn’t really know anyone from last night, so I thought I’d entertain myself. Turns out I couldn’t hold my alcohol as well as I did before.”

You were impressed with yourself with how quickly you were able to make up a lie despite your condition.

“Sorry about that. I shouldn’t have left you alone.”

You scoffed. Öh please. I’m not a child to be attended to. Also, it was your birthday, so don’t sweat it. It wasn’t a big deal. I hope you didn’t have to leave early because of me though.”

Your mind was starting to wake up even though the headache is still there. He couldn’t have broken in here. You must’ve let him enter your place. That means it was him who took you home last night.

“You don’t remember?”

The gloom in his voice made you look at him. His eyebrows knitted together as he stared closely at you, anticipating the next words you were going to say.

“I’m trying to, but the last thing I can remember is Yaku.”

“Nothing after that?”

You look straight ahead at the wall in front of you, trying again to get even a tiny fragment of recollection you might remember after Yaku. Certain images in an order you’re not sure are correct, flickered in your head.

Throwing up in your sink with him behind you. His car. Huddling up to Yaku.

“Oh my God.” You look back at him again.

“What?” His anticipation heightened from your reaction.

“I made Yaku a human pillow!” You groaned. “Please tell him I’m so sorry. Oh God, he must’ve felt so awkward.”

“I’m sure he enjoyed it. What else do you remember?” his tone getting impatient.

“Nothing. Why? Did I do something worse than that?” You were starting to feel horrified with yourself. If hugging Yaku didn’t faze him, then you must’ve done something far more atrocious based on his reaction.

“I’m just fucking around. You didn’t do anything you shouldn’t have.” He said playfully except it didn’t reach his eyes.

“I ordered ramen while you were still sleeping. Figured you have to eat from how you barfed last night.”

The thought of food immediately replaced having broken memories of last night’s event. He was right. The nausea from when you woke up was greatly lessened and has left you starving. Having him stay for the night was the right choice your drunk self made.

After you ate, you felt so much better. The medicine completely kicked in and your ravenous appetite from getting wasted has been satiated.

He was the one who set the table, so you took it upon yourself to clean up after.

“Did we use the stairs instead of the elevator?” You asked while walking to your trash bin with used cutleries in your hand.

“Why?”

“My thighs freaking hurt.” You answered as you threw what you were holding in the bin.

He sighed. “You really don’t remember anything.” It was a statement of surrender, acknowledging that you really couldn’t recall much of later occurrences from last night.

You washed your hands before facing him.

“Why won’t you just tell me already?” The way he’s being enigmatic about it is so strange. It was unlike him. You thought he’d be more smug about it, teasing you for doing whatever stupid thing you did you might have done.

“We had sex and you told me you love me.”

You just stared at him, looking for the slightest indication that he was just kidding. But you found none. He was looking straight at you, waiting for your own reaction to what he just told.

It felt like someone dropped a huge boulder right on top of you. Your headache that just dissipated was threatening to come back as some missing key pieces of the puzzle that is your memory were finally showing up.

Scenes from last night flashed in your mind, making your breathing gradually heavy from what transpired before you lost consciousness.

You still couldn’t remember all of it, but the ones you do, made you run to the bathroom, ignoring how your lower body throbbed from the sudden motion.

It was you. You were the one who asked him to stay. You were the one who kissed him first. You were the fool who admitted your love for him.

Once inside, you hurriedly remove your shirt.

Purple and reddish spots were scattered on the base of your neck, on your shoulder, and down to your breasts.

Although your memories are still in fragments. The ones you just recalled made everything cohesive. Your voice was gruff earlier from how you screamed in pleasure. The muscles in your abdomen down to your thighs ached from how you chased your own gratification on top of him. You didn’t change your clothes before sleeping. It was him who did it.

It was already regrettable that you let him do you, but to confess to him after doing so?

It wasn’t how you wanted it to go. You wanted a real conversation about it. It didn’t have to be dramatic, but telling him about your feelings while drunk and passing out after took away the opportunity to see how he would react to it.

Now all you can see is his troubled face when he kept asking if you didn’t remember anything.

Whatever hope you had yesterday was flushed down the drain. If he felt the same way, why did he look so anxious?

He probably felt bad for you, so he stayed the night and made sure you were taken care of in the morning. You could imagine him having that distorted sense of responsibility when you drank your heart out at his own party and confessed your love at the end of the night.

You put your shirt back on and stepped out.

You didn’t want to but you have to. You forced yourself to confront the problem head on. You had no way out of the situation.

You found him in the way you left him, sitting on the same chair in your dining area.

When you came back, you wore a distraught expression with a strained smile on your lips.

“I’m really sorry about last night. I haven’t been in a relationship and haven’t got laid either when I left, so I missed the feeling. It must’ve been weird for you. My bad.”

That sounded plausible to you. Indeed, you were becoming a good liar.

You waited for his response, but you’re met only with silence.

He suddenly stood up and went to get his clothes that he hung on the handle of your closet. “You look okay now, so I’m leaving.”

He seemed irritated, but you didn’t know why. Did you poke his ego?

“Hey, wait.” You stop him as he’s already at the door with his long strides.

“What?” He snarled, anger seeping from how he uttered the word.

“Why are you mad?” You asked with genuine perplexity as to why he’s so ticked off. .

“Let me rephrase what you just said, y.n.Y ou were drunk, horny, and lonely and I happened to be conveniently there for you to fuck with.”

You were previously confused and worried, but now you’re aggravated. You didn’t coerce him to have sex with you. How dare he make it look like you used him. How dare he act like that that wasn’t the nature of your sexual relationship.

“And?” You replied with cold apathy.

You saw how your response wounded him. There was a gleam of hurt that crossed his eyes before he turned around, ready to exit your apartment.

But you didn’t feel bad for him. You only feel irony from how he’s reacting.

“Didn’t you treat me the same, Kuroo? Didn’t you enjoy how much of a convenient fuck I was to you?”

He let go of the door knob and spun to face you right when you spoke.

“At least when you weren’t around back then, I wasn’t getting nasty with anybody else.”

You didn’t mean for that to slip out. It wasn’t even something that fit the context of your argument. It made your blood boil how he made himself the victim, so you wanted to throw something at him in return.

“The fuck are you talking about?” A frown shifting his expression from angry to confusion.

Nothing good will come out if you let unnecessary anger take over you, so you let out a deep breath, calming yourself down before you say anything. “I was there that night. At the bar.”

You figured out that he already knew what you meant when shock took over the bewilderment that previously reigned on his face. Still, you wanted to say it. You never had the boldness you currently have, so you found it necessary to hell him how you felt back then before you lose the chance to ever do so.

“You must’ve been really bored that you needed a distraction while you waited for. So I didn’t lie when I said I was sick that night. That’s what I felt with what I saw.”

Even though you sounded like you were faulting him, the truth is you were just narrating it as how it happened. So when you gave him a smile, it was a sympathetic one because you knew he didn’t do anything wrong. He shouldn’t look like he did something he was not supposed to..

“But really, I was just dumb. No one said we were exclusive shagmates. I just assumed that myself.”

“Was that why you avoided me when you were about to leave?” His voice was low and soft.

You nod. “Yeah.”

His jaw tensed up as he harshly averted his gaze away from you as if you were someone painful to look at.

“I see.” was all he said before he opened the door and walked out.

—

Kuroo was expecting the hangover, but not you forgetting every single important detail from last night. It was disappointing, but forgivable. There was nothing you could’ve done about that.

He thought that once he told you, you’d admit that it was true. He’d get to hear you say those words again, but for real this time, not just because you were alcohol-induced.

Apparently, he thought wrong.

He just happened to be the person present when all your pent up feelings were let loose by the alcohol. What if it was Yaku who took you home? Would you have done the same with him? Would you have pulled him in your bed and let him ease your needs like he did last night? Would you have told him that you love him too?

It almost made him furious However, it was immediately thwarted with what you revealed. You were actually there that night. He was convinced you ditched him, but the reality was you fled from the scene because of what you saw. He didn’t really do anything with that woman other than what you witnessed. He couldn’t even remember her face.

But that didn’t matter. What mattered was how that night of him being uncertain of his feelings made you feel. He knew exactly how. You felt like an option, the primary one, but still an option regardless.

There was no one else he was having sexual affairs with aside from you at that time. You were right that he could have messed around with others because no one said he wasn’t allowed to. But he didn’t. He was content with you. He didn’t crave for anyone else when he had you.

He wanted to give his side of the story. He wanted to let you know that he was confused at the time and that he didn’t mean to hurt you like that. But the look in your face told him that you didn’t care anymore. You resolved the issue on your own by letting yourself believe that it was you to be blamed for thinking that it should’ve been you only.

He must have been an ass in your eyes. What he felt a while ago was what you must have felt that particular evening. The scenarios were different, but they enunciated the same cruel fact despite the different timeline - you were practical to have around for sex only.

Nothing was different from how it was a year ago.

What happens now that the both of you smashed that wall of platonic friendship you built? What are you now? Will the two of you go on and pretend like last night didn’t happen or will you go back to being fuck buddies?

Both are equally grim to him.

How can he act like last night didn’t happen when it meant the world to him? As he held you captive in his embrace after you muttered the words he was longing so long to hear, he couldn’t stop himself from believing the sweet promise of your inebriated words. Only for you to crush his hopes not even 24 hours after.

Similarly, he couldn’t see himself getting back to having casual sex with you again. Not when his feelings for you have grown so enormous that it was weighing him down just thinking that you didn’t feel the same way. He couldn’t even look you in the eyes before he left from the dejection burrowing on his chest.

He pressed his car keys and got inside the vehicle.

He was physically tired from not getting enough sleep last night. Yet it was nothing compared to the grueling ache he has for you that escalated even higher despite the circumstances.

\--

Your last conversation with Kuroo was heated, but you didn’t say anything out of line. You were also upset, but not enough to not want to talk to him.

Obviously, that wasn’t the case for him. He’s clearly avoiding you.

It’s been three weeks since you’ve seen him. It was the first time that you hadn’t met with him for that long. He didn’t even message you as often as he used to. He’d only text you if you text him first and to add salt to the injury, his replies were dry as ice. Before, he would always be the first one to reach out to you. Now, it’s as if he was only forced to respond out of courtesy.

His absence made you think how things would’ve played out differently if you just told him that you meant it when you said you love him. If you knew that it was going to be like this, you would’ve just told him. If he avoided you because of it, at least you’d have been able to get your feelings for him out of your chest already. But since you panicked from your unconscious confession, you chickened out at the chance to do so.

Even though you believe you were in the right during your argument, he apparently took offense from something you said. So you decided to clear the air with him and apologize.

Once you reach your car, you’ll text him to meet when he’s free. You’ll do it now while you’re still sitting in the lobby of the hotel where you just met with a client. Your meeting was over for almost an hour now, but you still sat there with your mind occupied by Kuroo.

You took your phone out and started to compose a message. It should be a simple one but somehow you found it complicated to form the simple question of asking to see him again. You look around while you think of how to make it natural-sounding.

That’s when you saw him, sitting at a good distance across you.

He looked a bit rugged than usual with bags under his eyes and weariness apparent on his face. Maybe he was busy with work that’s why he wasn’t as responsive as you wanted him to be. All your gloomy thoughts might just be you overthinking.

That gave you the assertiveness to walk up to him and take the vacant seat in front of him.

You didn’t say anything but you were all smiles when he met your eyes.

“Fancy meeting you here. Haven’t seen you in a while,” you said haughtily. You were expecting a conceited retort like ‘Why? Did you miss me?’ or something like that because that’s how he is with you.

Instead, he sat straight as his eyes darted around as if he was looking for something.

“Sorry. I was sorting out stuff at work,” he answered blandly when he returned his gaze at you.

You nod while you try to not feel disappointed. You were glad to finally see him, but it looked like you’re just a bother to him. Still, you’re there already. You won’t let this chance pass by.

“I heard the food is good here. Want to try it? I haven’t had lunch yet.” You lied about the food being good. You really haven’t heard of the restaurant in the place, but you just needed a way to ask him casually.

“Uh..” he looks at his watch with worry.

“Kuroo-san?” It came from a feminine voice behind you.

You turned your head and saw a pretty, short-haired lady who’s even taller than Alisa Haiba. You’d compare Alisa’s beauty to an expensive piece of jewelry, stunning and eye-catching. This girl is like a cold iced tea on a hot day, refreshing and pleasant to take in on the first sip.

“Oh.” You and the girl muttered in unison when your eyes locked with each other.

You were in no way insecure of how you look. Modeling gave you a constant ego boost. You knew you’re beautiful, but alongside the two women, you felt average.

“Sorry, y/n. I’m currently busy. Some other time?” He looked at you apologetically.

The patheticness that set in you was quick and vicious, giving you no time to prepare as you put two and two together. He was meeting someone else. That’s why he was so uncomfortable when you came over.

The seat you took wasn’t vacant. It was for her.

You got ahead of yourself and thought he’d be glad to see you. If he wanted to, he would’ve asked you. Instead, you marched your way to him confidently when he was expecting another girl.

“No! It’s me who’s sorry for suddenly coming over like that. You guys enjoy.” You said as you stood up all too quickly. You gave the girl a polite bow, then gave one to Kuroo as well. You’ve never bowed to him, but right now, he felt so distant that you found the need to do so.

The click of your heels were in the same rhythm as the beating of your heart, it was fast and heavy. It was irritating. Yet you wouldn’t slow down even if they echoed in the whole lobby.

You need to get out of there fast.

\--

Kuroo knew you misinterpreted the situation again when you bowed to him. That was something you both didn’t do. You were never polite to each other.

He wanted to go after you, but he’s working. He couldn’t let personal matters take over. He’ll just call you later.

“Is everything alright, Kuroo-san?”

He forced himself to focus on his job.

“Ah, yes. Please sit down, Kanoka-san.” The volleyball player took the seat you were occupying just a moment ago.

Even with Kanoka sitting in front of him, his eyes went to your back instinctively as you headed towards the exit of the building.

He’s been reluctant to see you for the past few weeks because he didn’t know how to face you without the complexity of his feelings blowing up in both your faces.

When you suddenly came out of nowhere, he was completely taken aback. It wasn’t the right time. He had a scheduled appointment with Kanoka to discuss her ad with Mikasa. He couldn’t engage in a proper conversation because she was running late and he knew she was going to be there anytime soon.

If only he wasn’t on the edge around you, he could’ve handled the situation well. Instead, it seemed like he brushed you off to be with someone else.

Shit.

“Kanoka-san, I’d be back in a minute.”

He didn’t wait for her answer and stood up. He walked as fast as he could to catch up to you.

“Y.n. Wait” He called out to stop you before you could get out of the building. He knew you heard it since some of the guests around him looked at him from how loud he said your name. Yet, you didn’t look back. You only treaded the marbled floor faster, leaving him no choice but to chase you.

He didn’t care about people looking anymore. You were upset enough to ignore him. That gave him all the more reason to go after you.

He reached you in no time and grabbed your arm, but you still wouldn’t look at him.

“I need to go,” you said with a stern voice with your gaze fixated on the glass door just a few steps away. “I said wait.” His grip tightened on your arm when he saw how badly you wanted to get away from him.

“Will you please let me talk?” His voice softened, pleading for you to give him a chance to explain even though he had no idea why you were so hurt. You only saw him as a friend. You wouldn’t get jealous over that.

Yet, you still wouldn't budge. Your only response was the heaving of your chest as you weakly struggled to remove his grip on your arm.

“Kitten, come on,” he said soothingly while his thumb strokes the flesh of your arm.

“Guard!” You half-shouted with a wavering voice to the men near the entrance and exit.

The guards all turned their attention on him, your plea for help instantly heard.

He immediately let go not from the fear of the guards, but because of the pang from being treated like a threat when all he wanted was to clear any misunderstandings you might have had from the situation earlier.

As soon as you became free from him, you rushed to the exit without even sparing him a glance.

Just when he thought things were bad between the two of you, it just got worse

With nothing but increased load on his shoulders, he went back to do his job.

—

“What’s wrong with you?” Kenma looked at Kuroo with eyebrows knitted together in irritation.

“What?” Kuroo put down the controller to face him.

“You barged in here and forced me to play but you’re not even focused.”

Kuroo threw his head back on the couch. It has been a while since Kuroo came over, but Kenma knew it wasn’t the lack of game time that was making him play like a noob. It was so obvious that his mind was somewhere else when he’d blankly stare at the enemy already approaching ahead of him.

“Why are you really here?”

Kuroo sighed and spoke with a bored voice, “We had drunken sex, then she told me she loves me.”

Kenma just stared at him. It’s not like he didn’t know that you two had that kind of relationship before, but hearing it directly from Kuroo made him a bit awkward since three of you were friends. Kuroo could’ve just left out the sex detail. It’s not like he didn’t know that it was about to happen that night.

But he shouldn’t be focusing on that detail. If you finally confessed to him as he pushed you to, then Kuroo would’ve been stupidly happy. So why is Kuroo here bothering him? Did you two fight or whatever?

“So why are you here?” he asked again since Kuroo didn’t really answer his question.

“She didn’t mean it. She said she was ‘lonely’ so she projected those feelings at me because she was drunk and I was available dick at the moment,” Kuroo said impassively but gave a wry laugh after.

“Are you saying that you’re still not together until now?”

“What made you think we got together?”

Kenma gritted his teeth from his frustration turning into irritation. He let it pass that Kuroo left him in that party because he presumed that you two finally ended the ludicrous, almost there but not really romantic pursuit that has been going on since he met you. That’s what he thought since Kuroo hasn’t contacted him for some time.

But looking at his friend, he already knew that somehow, things were even worse between you two.

All this time, he didn’t say anything to Kuroo because he was not in the position to do so. It was you and Kuroo’s business, not his. Even though Kuroo has been his best friend for years now and even though you two were painfully dumb to notice each other’s feelings, he didn’t intervene. He trusted that you two will work things out on your own.

He was gravely mistaken.

Kuroo looked lost more than ever. He overestimated his friend. He deemed Kuroo smart on all occasions, but he seemed to dumb a bit when it involved you. Why is he waiting for you to be the catalyst of your relationship? If he’d just cough it up already, then the whole ordeal would be over already.

You and Kuroo’s relationship is like a badly designed game with overly dramatic cutscenes that were just there to prolong the story. It should’ve been long over a year ago if Kuroo was not as stupid as he was.

He didn’t want to divulge any of your secrets, but he wanted to see a good ending for you two. So he’s going to leave a piece of crumb for the two of you to stop making bad decisions that could lead to a bad route. If that doesn’t do it, then that’s it for you two. He won’t care anymore.

“Remember the night when I left my keys and you forced me to go to that shabby bar. I bumped into her on the way out. She saw you ...ugh,” he paused for a while to think of a word that wasn’t so vulgar.

“Yeah, yeah. She saw me making out with some random girl. She told me.” Kuroo interjected before he could even finish mulling over what word to use.

Kenma didn’t expect that you’d admit that to Kuroo. Even when you were about leave, you clearly told him to never tell him.

“You should’ve seen her. She looked really heartbroken that I felt so bad for her. She cried a lot when we talked in her car.”

The slow turn of Kuroo’s head towards him let him know that you left out that part when you told him about the incident.

“Guess she didn’t tell you about that.”

Kuroo always wondered how you and Kenma had this familiarity wherein he wasn’t aware of the source. He just accepted that maybe you two just got that comfortable to each other with all the time you’ve spent playing and hanging out with him.

Now it makes sense. Kenma was there when he first fucked things up with you.

At the time, he had an inkling that you would tell him that you love him or something. But he didn’t think you’d actually do it. He thought he was just being egoistic because you were a slice of heaven that he could only taste but not possibly have. So he always assumed that non-sexual feelings were just out of the question and he never pondered on it until that night, making him uncertain of how he really felt about you.

When he was still irresolute of his own feelings, you were already certain of your own.

Because of that, he unknowingly caused you enough pain to make you cry.

He was itching to ask Kenma why he didn’t tell him, but that’s the least of his concerns right now.

So many questions came to his mind from what Kenma just disclosed.

Do you still feel the same now?

Did you actually mean your intoxicated confession. If so, why did you deny it?

Did he not make you feel that he cared for you more than just a friend?

Did you think he was seeing Kanoka? Were you really jealous as he thought?

You were friends. You, yourself, were the one who pushed that concept for you two. You could’ve asked him, or at least, let him speak when he ran after you.

Instead, you distanced yourself from him. You didn’t answer his calls and texts. You were doing what you did, then the next thing he knew was you were already gone.

“Something’s not right,” he muttered to himself before focusing his gaze back on Kenma.

“Do you know why y/n left before?”

Kenma pursed his lips as he looked away, avoiding his stifling stare. “Didn’t you ask her about that?”

“She didn’t tell me,” he lied. He knew the answer, but Kenma might have a different one, the real one. You did confide with him before. You might have told him other things too.

With an infuriated groan, Kenma took his phone out and scrolled for a few seconds. When Kenma found whatever it is that he was looking for, he threw his phone to Kuroo.

It was a text message from you.

‘Hey Kenma. I’m leaving. I hate having feelings for Kuroo, so I need to go away to forget. I’m that pitiful haha. Even so, please don’t tell him about our conversation that night. And thanks for being there. Bye! :)’

He read the text five more times to make sure that every single word meant what he thought they meant. Then he returned the phone to Kenma.

He placed his elbows on his knees and put his hands together to cover the lower half of his face.

You left because of him?

He took a deep breath as he moved his hands to tuck his whole face.

He fought the urge to ponder on the what-ifs in his head. He’ll do that some other time, but right now, he needs to focus on the present than the past.

The mosaic of events was starting to fall into place, and even though there are missing fragments, he could already see the bigger picture.

It made his stomach drop.

You were following the same pattern you did a year ago. That means you were about to run away again. You’re going to disappear on him again without saying anything.

His hands went all the way up his head, brushing his hair away from his face as he pressed down his fingertips on his scalp.

No no no no no no no.

He can’t let that happen.

“I have to go,” he stood up and bolted to the door before Kenma could even react.

It’s only been two days since your last encounter. He’d like to think that that wasn’t enough time for you to pack up and go to another side of the world.

Before starting the engine of his car, he dialed your phone again. It’s still ringing, but you still won’t answer.

He quickly types a rushed “Wher r yu” before driving off, hoping that you’d reply while he’s on the way.

He tried to keep himself from overspeeding to reach your place while he reasoned with himself that it’s very improbable for you to leave just like that.

When he reached your place without hearing from you, he was almost sprinting to reach the front desk. He wasn’t with you, so he wasn’t allowed to just go in.

His breathing was labored when he reached the receptionist.

“Who are you visiting, sir?” The staff asked politely.

“L/n, Y/n. 707c,” he answered as quickly as he could.

They immediately gave him a civil smile, already knowing the answer to his query. “Sir, Ms. L/n left an hour ago.”

He felt his heart drop down to his gut.

He was too late.

“Thanks,” he said out of courtesy even though he wanted to bask in silence from what was happening.

He lost you again.

\--

Even though you tried not to think about it, your last encounter with Kuroo just kept playing over and over in your mind. It gave you nothing but unpleasant sentiments for both Kuroo and yourself.

You felt awful for what you did to Kuroo at that hotel. It was a terrible thing to do, and you were very much aware of that.

Even though you want to apologize, you don’t know how to justify why you did what you did without revealing how hurt you were that he was dating someone else now. There’s no point in doing the confession crap anymore. It will only worsen your already battered emotional and psychological being.

Still, he didn’t deserve that.

But when he called you ‘kitten’ like everything was the same as it used to be, you began to drastically lose control of your feelings. Your misery overwhelmed you. A second longer around him, and you’d have crumbled in his presence.

When you got home and calmed down after a good while, it didn’t slip your mind that you might have gotten the wrong idea about Kuroo and the girl at the hotel . But you didn’t want to have false hopes anymore. It was what made things unbearable.

It’s what made you want to run away.

That would solve everything instantly. You wouldn’t have to contemplate anything anymore. You wouldn’t have to go through the awkwardness of facing him again. .

It would be so easy for you.

You could leave anytime. You did have brand contracts in the country, but nothing binding. When you go back to the US, your career won’t be starting from zero.

You’d be restarting your life again without Kuroo. But for real this time. You won’t be coming back.

You stop in the middle of the dimly lit path you were trudging on. You don’t know how long it’s been since you went out.

You decided to go for a walk because being in your own bed with unwelcome mental images of Kuroo underneath you did not help the situation in any way.

You hoped that you’d tire yourself out until there was something else in your mind other than your current predicament. Although the stroll didn’t do much to wear you out since you’re used to standing and walking even on high heels.

So there you were, wandering aimlessly at night, hoping for a little bit of peace since your very own room was no longer a safe haven.

Really, you should just pack up and go.

You started to head back to your unit with that decision.

“I hate myself,” you mumbled into the coldness of the air when you noticed that you were barely covering any distance with how slow you were moving. You dreaded going back home because that meant you had to leave. Despite the never ending complications with Kuroo, your silly heart still cries out for him.

Since when have you been such a martyr?

Last time, you had no problems walking away from him even if that meant stopping university and turning modeling, something you weren’t really passionate about, into a full time job. Now that you have nothing to lose, that’s when you struggled to fly away?

You lost count of how many times your phone has been vibrating the whole night. If you really wanted to ignore him, you could’ve just blocked him. Instead, you let him call and text you non-stop for it consoled you. You liked that he still cared.

But for the first time tonight, you took out your phone.

You let it vibrate in your hand as you stared at the photo of his caller ID. It was a selfie of him winking, trying hard to look sexy but ended up looking like a joke. He took it when you left your phone when you had to use the comfort room while bumming around at Kenma’s place. You only saw the image when it popped up when he called you after getting home that day.

You haven’t seen the photo in a while. It made you smile a little.

Maybe it was time to answer it.

You extended your thumb to the answer button when a loud honk made you look to your left where the sound came from.

You weren’t aware of it, but you stopped right in the middle of a small intersection. You put back your phone in your pocket and turned to the vehicle.

You couldn’t really see much from the headlights that were blinding you. Still, you give a curt bow to apologize for being in the way.

You were about to turn back to the direction of your place when you heard the door of the car open.

‘Please, let it not be one of those raging drivers.’

You have no energy to deal with pesky people who think they have the right to tell people off just because they’re the ones behind the wheel.

You squinted your eyes to make out the driver’s expression as he went out, but the light greatly obstructed your vision.

It was when they switched off the headlights that you were able to adjust your eyesight

They didn’t bother closing the door and straight up marched towards you, their profile coming to view halfway from where you were.

Kuroo.

If only you saw him immediately, you would have had more time to process things and decide how you should deal with him.

But with him getting nearer and nearer and your mind not coming up with a course of action you should take, each footfall closer he took added to your perturbation.

Even though you know it's futile with him only an arm span away, you turned to where you were facing earlier and decided to escape from him.

Even though you didn’t have the courage to start anew without him, you were also not yet prepared to confront him face to face yet.

But as you lunged to scram away, he was able to grasp your wrist, rendering you helpless as he yanked you with enough force for you to topple on his chest. Your free hand flies to his bicep instinctively for support as he secures you with his other arm snaking around your waist.

With your bodies pressed to each other and his head lowered beside your ear, you could feel how hard he was heaving, as if he’d been pacing for quite some time.

“Stop running the fuck away from me,” he said in almost a whisper that caused your heart to beat wildly in your chest. Has he been actively looking for you this whole time?

He was the first to recover while you’re still shocked from what’s happening. He lifted his head as let go of your wrist, but still kept you in place with his other hand still firmly planted on your side.

“Y.n.”

“What?” You responded but didn’t dare look at him. You kept your head leveled while you tried to distract yourself from how it felt like home to be held this close by him again.

His hand that was previously on your wrist went to your chin, but he put no effort to make you meet his gaze.

“If I tell you I love you, will you look my way already?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- I know. I know. I said this was going to be the last chapter, but I felt like if I condense everything in this chapter, I'll blow everyone's brains out (including mine).  
> \- But honestly, I felt like this stretch was needed yk.  
> \- I promise I'll do everything to wrap things up nicely in Chapter 10  
> \- Chapter 10 will be the LAST CHAPTER (istg). I already started writing it and have outlined halfway through it.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- I reviewed and edited Chapters 1 and 2 a bit because I kinda cringed at the errors and my writing was wonky (more than it already is now). No plot changes don't worry.   
> \- Thank you for all those who read this, especially to those who took their time to comment and feedback. It meant the world to me who stayed up later than usual and poured my heart out on this.

You instantly snapped your head up with expanded eyes. Despite the sternness his voice contained, you saw the delicate swirl of complex emotions in his eyes, one that you haven’t seen him display before. You saw how the contrast of heartache and relief graced his features. 

“I love you, y.n.”

The quietness gave way for you to hear every single word he said. It was gently uttered, but firm on what it meant. 

It was almost magical, if not for the perplexity which came with that statement that enshrouded everything else.

As if the universe agreed with you, another set of lights landed on both of you, popping the enchanted bubble you two were in.

“Let’s go. We need to talk” He moved his hand from your waist to the back of your shoulder and guided you to his car. Still unable to regain your calm from what just happened, you absent-mindedly followed him and went inside the passenger’s seat.

“My place or yours?”

His question made you buck yourself up to the present again. It was the question that started your indecent affairs with Kuroo, and now he’s using it to settle what branched from said affairs.

“Did you really just ask me that?” You were unable to refrain yourself from retorting.

“What?” He asked back even though his eyes had a tender playfulness to them. He clearly knew what you meant but wanted you to elaborate for his entertainment.

You just rolled your eyes and ignored it. “Yours.” You weren’t playing his game. You just rather resolve the issue at hand somewhere not in your place. The last time’s conflict left you feeling vacant when he walked out the door and you stayed there with gloom lingering on every space of your place. You couldn’t do anything because it was your home. You just let it evaporate on its own.

In case things go South like they always do, you wouldn’t want to worsen the state of your already sullied abode. 

So you let him start the vehicle and drive off.

“I really thought you were gone again,” he broke the fragile silence.

“What do you mean?”

“I went to your place and they told me you left. I assumed you flew somewhere insanely far away for the second time.” All the involute sentiments he was carrying a while ago dissipated. He’s back to his laid-back self.

“Why would you think that?”

He sneered as his eyes flashed with bitterness even as he stared at the road. “Cause that’s what you do, kitten. You run away when things get too inconvenient for you.”

What could you say to that? 

Nothing. He was absolutely right. 

You tried to prove to yourself that you weren’t a spoiled rich brat by working your butt off, but it was never too difficult for you. You worked hard, but everything went smoothly like how you wanted them to. 

But with Kuroo, everything was in shambles. And in every chance you had to make things right with him, you chicken out. You blamed external factors such as timing not being right or other people were in the way. But you always had your chance. You just despised the fact that you had to cross certain barriers to move forward with your relationship with him. You wanted things easy. 

Before you left, you really believed that you wanted to confess to him just to get some clarity on your relationship. So why did you stop talking to him at all? If that was your only goal, you could’ve talked to him the morning after. But you didn’t. Because you didn’t like the pain of facing him again when he was messing around with women other than you. So instead of facing it head on, you ran away. 

It was the same when you confessed dead drunk and forgot the next morning. You were scared that he didn’t feel the same way, so you took the safe way out. 

And when it was becoming too much again, you were tempted to do the same exact thing you did ago: remove all the complications in your life by getting away from the source of it - Kuroo. 

With your mind flooded with realizations, you didn’t notice that you arrived at his place already. 

At least that was what you thought because he stopped the engine, but the neighborhood wasn’t familiar to you.

“Where are we?” you asked. 

“My place. Duh.” He answered before getting out. It was sarcastic, but it cheered you up. He was back to how he used to treat you before the drunken fiasco. It was just three weeks but it felt like you haven’t heard his taunts far longer than that. That’s how much you missed him.

You followed him and stepped out of his car as well. He must’ve moved out just recently, probably when you weren’t talking much, or else you would’ve known. 

“Glad to know you moved out of that dump.” Even with the current situation, you couldn’t just stay quiet when your mind instinctively thought of something to get back to his snarky remark. 

“Dump, huh?” He was looking at a certain building that you surmised was where his new apartment was. He scoffed before looking at you.

“Wonder why you agreed to let me fuck you in that dump though.” His grin spread wide enough that his teeth showed, clearly pleased with how he handled your usual battle of sarcasm.

You veered from his playful gaze and pursed your lips from the lack of a good response to bring down that haughty smile of his.

You regret ragging him on. You should’ve just stayed quiet. 

“Can we go inside now? It’s cold” You changed the topic being the loser that you were. 

“Come on then.” His satisfied smirk was still on his face knowing that he won that quick exchange. He waited for you to go to his side, then started walking towards the building. 

When you came back to the country, you thought it was odd that still stayed in his previous place. You were positive that he could afford to get a nicer one. Now it made sense. He was saving up for this. 

While heading to his unit, you could tell from the interior and the exterior of the building that the price of the place was above average. 

Inside the elevator, there was only you and him. He was about to press his floor number, but his hand stopped mid air before putting it down again.

“Wanna guess what floor I’m in?”

“And if I get it wrong?” He didn’t have to say it out loud for you to know where he was going with it. It was one of your gambling games.   
  


“You owe me nothing but the truth tonight.” Your bets were fun and the stakes were always petty but the weight of his stare let you know that the intent behind it was nothing compared to your previous wagers. 

He would demand nothing else but the truth from you when you two start to talk about the issue at hand. 

You found it strange. Of course, you would be honest. That’s the point of the conversation you’d be having when you reach his unit. 

But since he was acting like candor was of great worth to get from you, you’d ask for something of similar value. 

“If I get it right, I’m getting your Nekoma jersey. The one with No.1 on it.”

He was obviously taken aback from what you asked for. “Why that?”

“Why not?” You immediately asked back. 

He looked at the numbers on the side of the elevators while he scratched the roof of his teeth with tongue. 

“I changed my mind. I want all of them.”

“Huh?!”

“The odds aren’t right. There are 40 floors and the chance of getting it right is only 1/40. If you’d think about it, I’m even being generous.”

He clicked his tongue, acknowledging that your point was valid. “Deal.”

You instantly responded without even thinking twice, “22.”

You wished you could’ve captured his reaction. 

“You were already eyeing 22, dumbass. Your hand literally stopped in front of that number.” You shook your head as you snickered from that tiny victory, letting it take some of your tension away. “Say goodbye to your jerseys tonight,” you added. 

He usually won’t make such a mistake during your gambles. And because he did, you worked out that he must be distressed too. 

“Fuck.” He cursed then pressed the button you just said.

“Ugh fine, you can keep one.” You felt bad cause you even though the probability of you winning was low, the stakes for you were basically a given. 

The way on his unit was spent arguing on why the deal should be void because it wasn’t really a gamble since you already knew the answer. 

On his doorstep, you both hastenly arrived at a compromise of getting only his captain’s jersey, knowing that the inescapable confrontation is about to take place.

When he opened the door, it was nicer than you expected. It was modern looking with its minimalist interior and gray, black, and white tones. Your place was bigger but this looked more spacious because there weren’t unnecessary furnitures. 

The click of the door brought you back to why you were here. All the monkeying around a while ago was just a prelude to this and any impact it had on you was diminishing by the second. Things were about to get serious. You could feel anxiety crawling back to your skin. 

You didn’t wait for his hospitality and sat yourself on the couch. 

He immediately went after and sat beside you. 

You shook your head. “No.”

“What?” A frown creasing his forehead from the ‘no’ that came out of nowhere. 

“Don’t sit near me. It makes me uncomfortable.” It might have been rude, but you just had to say it. You want your mind working functionally so you can’t have him anywhere near your personal space. 

Instead of getting offended, he eyed you with consideration before standing up. He got a chair from his dining area and sat a good few steps away from you. He crossed his legs and arms. 

“So?” He proceeded, imploring you to be the first one to open the conversation that was suspended by the vehicle earlier. 

“What do you mean ‘so’?” You laughed sourly. “You’re the one supposed to explain things. Do you expect me to just accept what you said a while ago?”

He threw you a questioning look. “Is it really that hard to believe?”  
  
“You avoided me for weeks. When I tried to make up with you, you brushed me off cause you were seeing someone else. So my apologies for being so skeptical,” your last sentence full of uninhibited scorn.

“Who said I was seeing her? She’s just a volleyball player I’m working with.” If this was a normal conversation, he’d definitely have some snide comments to go along with it. But he didn’t swerve to his usual smugness. He remained pensive.

You couldn’t think of a decent reply except for an timid “Oh” that came from your mouth. You’re reassured that it wasn’t like that, but it was overpowered by the shame brought by your incorrect assumption. 

He didn’t wait for you to recover as he asked right away, “Why did you ignore me after that?” 

But despite the embarrassment, your brain was still running its engine properly. So you skillfully evade his query. “You still haven’t told me why you avoided me prior to that.”

He puffed a heavy breath. “I didn’t know how to get back to that friendship bullshit that you wanted so bad.” He uncrossed his legs and slouched with his elbows on his thighs. “Now answer my question,” he commanded.

“Well.. I didn’t want to intervene with whatever or whoever it is you’re busy with,” you said a bit too quickly without explaining further. “My turn again,” you continued on/

“No. I addressed two things from you so it’s still my turn,” he firmly asserted.

You were about to retaliate but he beat you to it with his own question. “How many times have I made you cry?”

It was an abrupt one that wasn’t in line with the previous questions that preceded it. You flinched from how it hit that certain memory you thought you moved on from.

“Never. What gave you that idea?” You denied as fast as you could. He didn’t have to know that insignificant detail. ‘It doesn’t matter’ you told yourself even though you knew it was your pride that wouldn’t let you answer truthfully.

You’re glad to have won the bet earlier. Even though you thought you were going to be completely honest, there were just some details that need not be known.

Heated stares replaced words as both of you waited until the other withdrew. He was glaring at you, looking for an ounce of deceit. Too bad for him though because you have no intentions of folding. 

You arose the winner when he’s the first to concede as he straightened his posture from slouching. He leaned back on the backrest of his chair and sighed exasperatedly. 

“Man, I’d like to complain, but I guess your tenacity is one of the reasons why I fell for you.”

You were doing so well but with what he just said, your heart is back to the mess it was when he pulled you to him and said he loves you for the first time.

“Cat got your tongue, kitten?” His smug grin back to its former glory, making you even more flustered than you already were.

“How can you say things like that so indifferently?” You voiced out, irritated at how he’s so relaxed while youre all wound up.

“Look. I’ve been keeping my mouth shut ever since you came back. Now that it’s out in the open, I’ll say it as much as I want to.”

Did you hear him correctly? He said ‘since you came back.’ When exactly did he start having feelings for you? 

“What do-”

“Hold it right there. You don’t get to ask anything yet since your last answer was a lie.”

You groaned. He shouldn’t be allowed to call you tenacious when he’s even worse than you are when he wants to be. “It is not. So let’s move on,” you tried to proceed but he cut you off right away.

“Kenma told me.”

Your solid defiance rapidly chipped from your secret being found out by the person you wanted to hide it from. You could only guess that Kenma told him just now. That’s why he was on a rampant chase to find you. 

The earlier gamble made sense now. He anticipated your refusal to admit what happened back then, back before you left. So he wanted to ensure that you would be forthright about it. 

Even after losing the bet, his goal was still secured for he had Kenma’s story as proof.

You tried to feel any hostility towards Kenma but you didn’t have it in your heart to do so. You trusted Kenma. He must have had a good reason for telling Kuroo now when he’d kept it well for more than a year.

“Fine,” you said under your breath. 

“Too many that I didn’t bother counting.”

Guilt darkened the diffidence on his face. He must not have expected that you would be the type to cry over a guy, especially him who started his relationship with you only as a bed warmer. 

But you went on with your previous question since that’s what was pervading in your mind. “When did you realize?” You were really curious since when the feeling has been mutual between the two of you. 

“Realize what?”

“That you l-,” you hesitated, reluctant to fully spat out the phrase completely even though he already said it first hand. Looking back, you don't know how you convinced yourself to admit your feelings to him when you’re stuttering from a trifling thing such as this. 

“That I love you?”

You staved off away from his perfervid stare, not able to handle it as you replied a brash “Yeah” to maintain your tough façade.

“At the very same night you were supposed to confess.”

You harshly returned your gaze to him. “Was that a joke?” You chuckled wryly. “In case you forgot, I was there.” 

You were grateful to Kenma being there at that moment, but it’s different when it’s finally Kuroo you’re confronting. You could feel all the unaddressed bitterness you buried deep inside take over you.

“I was hoping to get an honest conversation. Instead, I arrived at the godforsaken bar,” you continued with a forced smile, “and stood watch as you made that first move to kiss her, how you pulled her close like …. like you couldn’t get enough.” The particular scene tore you back then and it does just the same now. Before you knew it, warm liquid pooled in the corner of your eyes without any warning. 

You turned your head sideway and let your hair cover your face. 

You didn’t want him to see how your lips quivered as you fend off a whimper that was already at the back of your tongue

You sealed shut any feelings you had for that certain chapter of your relationship with Kuroo. So you couldn’t understand the surge of sullenness that flowed through you. It must be from how paradoxical his narrative seemed. 

How could he claim to love you when he enjoyed the sultry company of another?

If Kuroo would think of two words to describe your personality, it would be determined and composed, to the point that you can seem cold and apathetic at times. You were the kind of person who didn’t give two shits to anything you found unnecessary or irrelevant. 

Since he met you, you constantly had your guard up as if people will find something awful if they get a tiny peek of what you really are. He couldn’t do something about that. He didn’t have any right to. You two were only fucking around. He later figured out that you didn’t want people to know who you really were - an heiress and a successful model. 

That’s why you traded carefully around people. 

But when you came back and asked only for friendship, you still had your fences up like you were hiding something. He thought maybe because you’ve had them up for so long that you didn’t know how to turn it off, even for him whom you considered a friend. 

So to see you struggling to keep your walls up that were slowly crumbling, he realized why you have a soft spot for Kenma. He’s already seen what you tried so hard to protect.

Disobeying your earlier instruction to not sit beside you, he stood up from the chair and moved to your side. 

When you saw him do so, you didn’t say anything. You only raised your hand to nimbly wipe your tears that were already falling. He grabbed your hand you were using and held it still on your lap. He replaced it with his own, drying your tears with his fingers. 

It was the least he could do with being the cause of it, and he was glad you let him even though you still kept your eyes away from him.

He trailed his fingers down your jaw and slightly lifted your face so he could look at you. What he saw was unrefined vulnerability, and even then, you wore it beautifully. 

He finally understood. That wall you built when you met again was exclusively for him. You guarded your heart from him. You created the friends only set up so you wouldn’t get hurt again.

It made him feel like shit. You really did love him back then, enough to cause you this pain.

“I’m sorry. I was half-assed about it at the time. Nothing more happened with me and whoever that girl was. I just,” he trailed off knowing that the next thing he’s going to say is gonna sound stupid. “used her to see if what I felt for you was real.”

You raised your gaze to him with eyes wide with disbelief. “Are you serious?”

“I know it’s idiotic, okay?” His voice took a slightly defensive tone as you were about to judge his line of thinking back then. “But we were only fuck buddies. I didn’t want to start a relationship with you then realize that I was just confusing the comfort of your company with something as serious as love.”

He stroked your knuckles after he explained.

“I really am sorry, y/n. I didn’t mean to hurt you like that.” His words dripping with remorse from every single tear that you shed for him without him knowing. 

“Why tell me only now? It’s been months since I came back.”

“You were insanely driven on being friends only. I didn’t think you feel the same way.”

No one said anything after. He couldn’t tell if you’re aware of it too, but he could feel tension in his every vein as his next question dangled on the tip of his tongue. 

“Do you?”

You bit your lip as you averted your eyes downwards again. 

“You know the answer to that already.”

Indeed he does. You wouldn’t be this affected if you didn’t. But he has to hear it directly from you. He has to hear you say you love him for real this time. 

“I need it to come from you.” He gently held your cheek to guide you back to his gaze. He needs to see the entirety of your face, especially your eyes, when you finally tell him how you truly feel about him. 

“I… I-” He could see your strenuous struggle to get the phrase out. You eminently tried as you kept uttering the first syllable but nothing after that. “I can’t say it,” you said defeatedly. 

He should be frustrated. He laid out all his cards open for you to see, but you refused to do the same when you had one last face down card that would declare the game over where you both win. 

But he held nothing but patience. He could wait for the phrase he’d been longing for as long as he made sure of something.

“You don’t have to if you can’t say it. But I’ll be honest. I,” he let out a deep breath before continuing, “I can’t stand us being friends only anymore.”

He removed his light grasp on your face as his hand travelled to the one that he hasn’t been holding. He lightly squeezed your fingers to get you to heed the attention he needed from you. 

“Be my girlfriend, y/n. Be mine.”

If you say no at this point, he’d lose his mind.

With his focus solely on you as he waited for an answer, he saw a subtle nod from you.

“Okay.”

It might seem too simple and bland of an answer. But you two had been going on through ragged stops for a year that he couldn’t care about trivial crap like that. 

It wasn’t sweet and he found that perfectly okay. Because it was you. He just needed you to finally let him be more than just fuck buddy, more than a friend.

And when your lips tugged on both corners to form a smile that was directed at him, especially for him, it made his heart soar.

“Is this really happening?”

You had the gall to be skeptical when his actions never hid his affection for you. He just didn’t say it out loud.

“You bet your ass it is.” Instead of his usual shit-eating smile that would’ve accompanied his response, his smile mirrored yours.

You were both happy.

Unable to contain himself, he acted on what always wanted.to without anything holding him back. 

He kissed you. 

No alcohol and no bullshit involved, just taking in that first touch of your lips as officially your lover.

His hands travel up to your shoulders as he scoots over to have you closer. You taste and feel ethereal. It was unlike any kiss you’ve shared in the past. The ache he had for you this whole time was being lulled by how your soft lips cascaded on his. 

His one hand goes up to the base of your neck while he parts your lips so he can have better access on the wonders of your mouth. 

You sighed helplessly to the kiss before withdrawing just a bit, your warm breaths still mingling with one another. 

“Wait,” you gasped inches away from his lips before burrowing your face on the crook of his neck. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked worriedly, stroking your neck and shoulder to soothe whatever it is that’s bothering you.. 

“It feels weird.”

“Weird how?”

You lifted your head and looked at him with the most insane blush he’s seen from you. Your cheeks were a rosy fury that highlighted a foreign countenance in your face. Your orbs were glossy and sparkling with a tiny hint of naivety that he’s never seen from you. Your mouth was compressed in a thin line that he could tell was done to prevent the trembling of your lips that was still slightly evident.

He managed to get another unknown aspect of you to surface, and goddamn what a pleasant surprise it was. 

He loves your confidence. It was sexy. But bashfulness was an exceptional look on you too. It provided depth to your character which was already fascinating to him to begin with. 

He couldn’t wait until he could fully discover everything about you, even the one you still weren’t aware of. 

“It’s like I’m overwhelmed by something until I can’t breathe. But I… I like it?” You glowered right after describing it, probably thinking that it sounded asinine. 

He was amused and charmed at the same time from how you tried to put into words how he was making you feel. 

“You do realize we’ve fucked countless times already.” He couldn’t resist goading further even when he knew exactly what you were talking about. 

“You don’t say,” you riposted, gaining your smart-assery back to which he laughs at. 

“God, I really love you.”

He lunges to claim your lips once more, his need to have more of you back with heightened intensity.

You were getting dizzy from how he was kissing you. It was much more needy than the previous one. You still haven’t fully grasped what just happened and yet he’s already filling your senses, making you forget the tiny insignificant details and retaining only one fact that mattered. 

You and him. 

His hand on your shoulder wanders down to your waist while you grasp his biceps for support as he pulls you even closer until you were straddling him. 

His mouth did not linger too long on yours as it impatiently trailed down your neck, interchanging loving kisses with hungry sucks that stirred your thirst for him.

You remembered some parts of the drunken sex you had, but they were just flashes and blurred images. The sensation from the experience wasn’t retained. 

It seemed like a far away memory compared to how he was making you feel at the present moment.

You suddenly feel him slip his hand underneath your shirt, palming your bare skin upwards until it reaches one soft mound which he doesn't hesitate to squeeze.

“ _Haaaa_. Kurooo, wait,” you plead breathlessly. You were getting overwhelmed by how he swiftly fanned the flames of desire that was spreading throughout your body.

His lips left the sensitive skin of your collar and met your gaze with restrained hunger.

“What is it?” 

You didn’t know what to say. Did you want him to slow down or just have his way with you already?

He must have noticed your conflict so he decided for you. 

He chose the latter.

Both his hands scurried to your hips, guiding you to raise them slightly while his lips find their way to yours again. Not bothering to remove or even tug down your leggings, he slid one hand inside which was welcomed by your slick arousal. 

“Why’d you stop me when you’re already this wet?” He asked with pride flickering in his eyes knowing that it was him who caused it. 

But he did not let you answer as he shoved one finger in your core.

“ _Aahh_ ,” your eyes closed shut and your thighs tremble from the sudden pleasure as your hands move to clutch his shoulders to anchor yourself. You rest your forehead on his while puffing heavily. 

“Kuroo...” you whimpered.

He steadies you with one hand, but does not relent as he inserts one more digit.

“Hmmm?” You could tell that he was enjoying your wanton surrender just from the way he sounded. 

“It feels too much,” you admitted. 

“Too much? Oh kitten, we’ve barely even started.”

He took the hem of your shirt and lifted it up. “Bite it,” he commanded and you complied obediently. 

He hoists your bra down your chest, exposing your unclad breasts to him. He eagerly takes one perk nipple in his mouth while his one hand goes around your waist. He retacts his fingers inside and rubs the bundle of nerves above your slit in hurried circles that were driving you to the brink of madness. 

He was right. This was still foreplay, but you were already so feverish. 

Your moans were muffled by how hard you were biting the cotton fabric of your shirt. 

“Take your shirt off. I want to hear you,” his voice raspy as he stopped everything he was doing that was making you feel good. You quickly yanked your shirt off so he could go back to doing them right away.

As soon as your top was thrown away, he inserted the same fingers back again and started pumping in and out aggressively. 

With his request and the absence of your shirt, nothing was repressing the salacious sounds that were coming out of your mouth

The heat in the pit of your groin was building up too fast. It was a very steep peak that he was rapidly coercing you to reach. 

“Feels-ahh-so good.”

He groaned in response. He took out his digits and loosened his hold of you which made you flutter your eyes open. 

“Let’s take this to my bed,” he said ruggedly as he was about to get up. 

You firmly grasp his shoulders to stop him. “Wait.”

A dash of timidness came over you again which you couldn’t understand. Just like he said earlier, you’ve had a lot of sex. You did things more scandalous than what you had in mind, but you feel flustered just thinking about saying it out loud. 

“What is it?”  
  


“Uhh,” you swallowed your nerves. “Do you mind getting your couch dirty?” 

He raised an eyebrow from your question, but was immediately followed by a riveting smile upon realizing what you meant. 

“Not all,” he took off his shirt then proceeded to unclasp your bra that was still lugged your breasts. 

“We can get it dirty as much as we want,” he whispered right in your ear. 

\--

Sex with Kuroo before usually ended with both of you scramming to get water or go to the bathroom to clean up. Then when you went back to his bed, both of you just settled down in whatever position you were comfortable in. 

Holding each other after sex just was never on the table. No one talked about it and no one initiated so you figured both of you weren’t into it. You weren’t sure about him but you found the act too intimate to do between casual sexmates.

You had no idea it felt this good to be cradled by him.

Your head was nested on his arm that he extended for you. His other one was enveloped around your waist and your face and hands were burrowed on his chest. 

“This is nice,” was an understatement that you breathed on his skin.

“Mmhmm. More especially since you’re awake and sober,” he hummed on your hair.

“Hmm?”

He chuckles lightly as he caresses your hair delicately, his fingers sometimes grazing your nape. 

“Yeah, I held you like this the night of my birthday instead of going back.”

You definitely had no memories of that. You knew he took care of you, but you didn’t think he got cozy in bed afterwards. 

“I thought awww poor you. You seemed like you could use a cuddle. You did beg me to fuck you after all.”

Typical of him, he had to be an ass and ruin the moment. 

But you didn’t believe him. You knew that’s not what happened. You did kiss him first and asked him to stay, but you did not beg. Even if you did forget everything, you still wouldn’t believe him. You’re not the type of person to beg.

“Don’t invent stories just because you wanted to feel me up after sex.” 

His chest rumbles within your touch as he worked up a laugh from your snappy comeback. “You’re really something, kitten.”

“You’re gonna keep calling me that, huh?”

He cranes his head back a bit, creating some space between you. You could tell he was peering at you.

“Don’t like it?”

You smile at his question. You found the nickname tacky at first, but it kind of got stuck with you. He’s never called you any other pet names other than that and it made you feel like it was solely for you.

“No, I love it.”

You tilt your head up a bit to look at him.

“I love you.”

You were so apprehensive earlier because of the torment that still lingered from the many failed attempts to tell him so. 

You thought you would need more time, but that doesn’t seem to be the case as he easily whisked your worries away just by being with him like this. 

You were finally able to tell him sincerely in your own accord. You didn’t realize keeping these feelings all to yourself was so heavy that letting it out was such a liberating experience.

As you free your chest with the restless burden of secretly loving him, you don’t feel empty because your heart was filled with content from knowing that he loves you just the same.

It reflects on his face, more so now that his smile is growing broader by the second which was accompanied by a noticeable flush on his cheeks that was illuminated by the dim light of his night lamp.”

“I love you too, y/n.” His eyes exuding profound adoration for you.

“I had my chance to tell you the morning after I got wasted. I just-”

“Hey,” he cut you off then removed his hand on your waist to cup your neck, his thumb brushing gently the curve of your jaw. 

“I have you now. That’s all I care about,” the elated smile still not leaving his face. 

“I can see that. You look too freaking happy,” you said as revenge for how he ruined your moment just a while ago. 

“Well, sorry I’m not emotionally constipated like you,” he quickly outwitted your attempt to mock him. 

“You scumbag,” you hissed despite his blissful smile infecting you. 

He pulls you again closer to him until your bodies stripped off of any clothing are perfectly molded against each other. 

“Yea yea, say whatever you want but I’m the scumbag you love.” Even when you couldn’t see his face anymore, you could still hear how enraptured he was. 

And so were you as you snuggled with him until you fell asleep. 

\--

“Sorry, I’ll be a little late, kitten. I need to be here for a while even though the game ended already.”

You could hear him scuffling around with the dwindling sound of excitement in the background. 

You’re already late from your planned time, but he was running even later. Not that you were upset. You didn’t have major plans or anything. You just agreed to go to his place together since you’re spending the night there. 

“You have my keys, right? You can go ahead.”

“I can go there and wait for you,” you suggested since you still have some energy left from the orderly photoshoot you had this late afternoon. Also, you’d just be restless waiting for him at his apartment. 

“You sure?” He asked even though you were sure he’s smiling judging from the way he sounded. 

“Yup.”

“Okay then! Have to hang up now though. Love you, kitten,” then he ended the call. 

It’s been almost a month now since you two were officially together but he sometimes still catches you off guard with how he expresses his love for you without reservations. But you have no complaints. 

Upon arriving in Tokyo Stadium, there were only a few people inside, and some of those few are heading out. 

Thank goodness for that. Even if you weren’t feeling tired, you didn’t wanna get squashed by Volleyball enthusiasts. It would also make your bed-headed boyfriend much easier to find. 

You don’t want to call him just yet. He’s probably still occupied so you’ll just look for him. 

As you paced the area unsurely, you were starting to doubt your decision to look for him on your own. You had no idea stadiums had this kind of structure on the inside since you’ve never gone in one. You thought it was just one big open area with elevated benches.

Instead of going inside the actual playing arena, you went to the narrow halls that branched to the sides of the building.

Just before passing a certain corner, someone emerged from a room that you weren’t aware was actually there.

“Oy Hinata, I’m going ahead if you keep being a slowtard,” a tall, dark-haired man aggressively stated before walking towards your direction.

“Kageyama, you impatient turd!” A bright orange-haired guy, who’s probably called Hinata, came out right after, hurrying to go after the dark haired one who’s most likely Kageyama.

Before he could even pass you by, you lock eyes with Hinata.

A snap of familiarity hits you both.

“Waah. _Ms. Pretty_!” He said in English, completely and overwhelmingly affable that it was almost adorable.

Oh right, you spoke in English the first time you met.

“ _Hello_.” You smiled politely, still holding up your non-Japanese speaking facade.

Kageyama stopped walking and turned his attention to you. He bowed then looked at Hinata. “You know her?” He asked in Nihongo.

“Not really. But it was kinda funny, Kuroo-san called her ‘kitten’ but she didn’t really know him,” Hinata grinned from amusement only but Kageyama didn’t respond.

Hinata frowned and took a semi defensive stance. “You better not tell Kuroo-san I said that.”

You just alternate your gaze between the two men, deciding whether you should admit that you could actually speak Nihongo and that you’re looking for Kuroo or just let things play out as is. 

“What’s the noise all about?” 

Another set of recognizable faces turned up - fake blondie, curly, and black and white.

It wasn’t hard to guess why they were there. They were athletes. They weren’t just guests in the event. They were most likely brand ambassadors too, except for Kageyama. It’s the first time you saw the man. 

They must be part of the national team. Kuroo did say it was an international match today.

Fake blondie’s face lit up as soon as his eyes landed on your face. He quickly made his way to approach you, passing by Hinata when he did.

“ _You lost, pretty girl_?” It contained everything Hinata’s previous compliment lacked, pure flirtatiousness together with a come-hither smile. 

So the Volleyball national team can somehow speak English. Although, they still retained their heavy accents. 

You studied fake blondie in front of you and quickly decided that you wouldn’t date him even if you haven’t met Kuroo. The guy’s hot, but he seems like an idiot.

“Y/n?”

Someone who you didn’t have to identify by his hair entered the scene, Yaku. 

You wave reservedly at him for you still haven’t forgotten how you acted around him the first you met.

“What’re you doing here?” He, then, turned to fake blondie. “Cut it out, Miya-san. I’m certain she’s not interested.”

“She can’t understand Nihongo, Yaku-san.” Black and white appeared to be whispering but his voice was loud enough for everyone to hear.. 

Yaku threw him a confused look. “What? I met her around two months ago. She’s a local, Bokuto.”

The Miya person scowled, “Geez. Could’ve saved me the trouble.”

You just ignored him and shifted your attention to Yaku. 

“I’m looking for Tet-” you cleared your throat. He’s been pestering you to call him ‘Tetsu’ every single day until you just succumbed to it and it became normal to you. You almost addressed him as such to these people who you presume he’s working with. 

“I’m looking for Kuroo.”

Yaku raised an eyebrow with intrigue twinkling on his whole face. “Oh?” 

“Mmmhmm,” you answered obscurely. 

“You friends or somethin?” Miya asked with an ounce of wariness, changing your initial thought of him being an idiot.

Yaku grinned. “They’re just friends,” he answered for you, obviously anticipating whether you’d agree or not. 

You weren’t ashamed of dating Kuroo, but you’ve had some kind of weird interaction with these people that involved Kuroo, save for Kageyama obviously. Poor guy must be confused at the novelty of what’s happening.

From behind Bokuto and the curly haired guy whose name you still have no idea what, the man you were looking for presented himself and walked towards you. 

Those he passed by had their eyes lingering on his back with Miya being the last person to notice him since Miya is the closest to you. 

“Not that it’s any of your business,” he puts a possessive arm around you, “ but this lost lady here is my girlfriend.” 

You tried to hold off a smile, but it was futile. You didn’t expect that announcing it to other people was that gratifying after more than a year of consistently telling people otherwise. . 

Damn it feels good to be more than just friends with Kuroo. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- I want to cry. This was my very first fic and my very first series as well. I'm so happy to see it through and finish it.   
> \- I'm thinking of an epilogue maybe next year, but for now, I'm marking it as completed.   
> \- I love you all.


	11. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who missed Kuroo? Me ofc.  
> I enjoyed writing this self-indulgent, tooth-rotting fluff.  
> I hope you do too.

“Morning,” says your boyfriend with the familiar drawl of his voice in early mornings.

“Mmm, more sleep.” You nuzzle your face on his glorious chest which you deem is the best pillow you’ll ever have. Of course, you won’t tell him that. His head is already big enough with that bed hair of his.

He wraps his arms around you even tighter, drawing you in his warm embrace that makes the January weather in Japan forgiving, comforting even.

He plants a soft kiss on your forehead while he tenderly tucks your hair behind your ear. 

“Kitten, as much as I want to sleep in today, we both have to get up,” he says while he strokes your cheek, making you want to stay longer like this, contrary to what he just said. 

“But why?” You whine with your eyes still closed.

He chuckles softly. “It’s your graduation today.”

You squint your eyes open and look at him. Kuroo Tetsurou. Your fuck buddy for 6 months, friend without the benefits for another 6 months, and boyfriend for 2 years.

After you made things official with him, you sorted your life out and figured out what you really wanted to do. As much as you enjoyed working full time, you decided to go back to your university and finish your degree while working part time instead. 

You realized that you wanted to see it through, not because your parents wanted you to, but for yourself. You lost clients, but you were happier. But with Tetsu looking at you as he is, you’d think he’s way gladder than you are that you’re finally graduating.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“What? Can’t I be happy for this occasion?”

You shrug your shoulders and get back to nestling yourself within his hold. He gently taps your shoulder. “Oyyy, get up already. I can’t do it with you being cute and shit like that.”

You giggle on his chest before getting up. 

—

“Seriously, Tetsu. You look too damn happy,” you remark on your seat as you watch him drive. “You’ve had that wide grin on your face since we left my place.”

“You don’t understand, kitten. We finally get to look like a legit couple. I won’t get those looks from students in your university anymore.”

You frown. “What’re you talking about?”

He snorts. “Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed.”

“Noticed what?”

“Oh please. They look at me like I’m a cradle snatcher.”

You cackle on your seat. You really had no idea that your schoolmates looked at him like that. It must be the suit and the car every time he fetches you from the campus.

“Aww Tetsu.” You reach for his face and caress his cheek. “You don’t look that old to be a cradle snatcher.” He smiles as his one hand lets go of the wheel to cup yours that was resting on his face.

“Maybe a sugar daddy?”

He returns his hand on the wheel and scowls. “You know, we still have time to pull up somewhere.”

“Why the hell would we pull up?”

His scowl turns into a contemptuous grin. “So we could do that sugar daddy roleplay of yours. I can act like a creep who paid for your university. Then we can pretend to have one last sex.”

You instantly remove your hand away from his face. “You’re gross,” you spat out. It was his turn to laugh. “What? I’m just going along with your shit.”

His one hand creeps on your inner thighs. “Come on, _baby_ . Won’t you let me fuck you for the last time?” You raise an eyebrow on his hand that’s inside your skirt before raising your gaze to him. “Oh _daddy_. Does this really have to be the last?” You play along with his dumb antics. 

He grips your flesh right before making a sharp turning on the curve right ahead. “Tetsu! What’re you doing?” He keeps his mouth shut with his eye glued to the road. “Hey! Where are we going?” He still doesn’t answer you until he pulls up at a park that is somehow familiar to you, but you can’t remember why. 

“What are we doing here?” You ask. 

“You don’t remember this place?”

You shake your head. “Well, if you must know. I stopped over in this area to do you before I took you back to my place. You were batshit drunk and let me, a stranger do all sorts of stuff with you. End of story time.”

He unbuckles his seatbelt and lunges right at your lips, causing you to moan from the suddenness of it. His tongue swipes your lower lip right before thrusting it impatiently in your mouth. 

You force yourself to pull away. “Tetsu, it’s broad daylight.” He might have gotten away with it before, but it’s too bright at present. Anyone can just walk in on you. 

“Why do you think I got my car tinted as fuck? Besides, barely anyone comes here,” he says before his lips coaxes you to agree by flicking his tongue just below your jaw. 

“B-but my clothes,” you try to protest.

“We’re not going to remove them,” he hums against your neck. 

You cup his face to lead him back to your lips as you unbuckle your own seat belt to get over to his seat and straddle him. He reclines his seat while ravaging your lips. 

“Call me that again,” he says in between kisses. You knit your eyebrows together before gaping at him with an amused look as it dawns on you what he’s talking about. 

You hitch your skirt up and grind on his clothed erection. You place both your elbows on both sides of his head, hovering just an inch on his face. “Call you what, _daddy?_ ” 

He smiles as he reaches for your lips once again.

\--

“Why are you late on your own graduation?” Kenma asks as he eyes Kuroo’s wrinkled slacks and your crumpled dress that you still struggle to fix even after arriving. 

“Forget I asked,” he says with a grimace. “Sorry,” you apologize before catching your own breath. You turn to Kuroo and fix your hair for the last time. “Do I look okay?”

“Most beautiful person here.” He pulls you for a quick peck on the lips. “Go to your seat, kitten. You’re already almost an hour late.” You beam at him and give him and Kenma a quick wave before marching to your assigned seat. 

When you're out of earshot, Kenma frowns at Kuroo. “Really? You couldn’t wait until after the ceremony?”

Kuroo laughs at Kenma’s question. “Is it that obvious?” Kuroo asks to heighten his amusement. “Disgustingly so.” Kenma answers instantly which cracks him up even more. Kenma easily swerves away from the topic, telling Kuroo about his current plans for Bouncing Ball while they wait for you to get on stage. 

When your name is called, they both immediately stop talking. This is what they came here for, to see you get that certificate you very much deserved. 

You were right earlier in the car. He is too damn happy for this day. You worked so hard for this milestone even if you didn’t have to. You did so well with your job. You were soaring your way to being more successful. But you stayed true to what you really wanted and studied again. After two years, you really did it.

He took the whole day off to make sure he’d be with you because he wanted to be with you as you grasp this achievement. More especially because you told him your parents won’t be coming. He’s also glad that Kenma made time for you so you have one more person celebrating your success. 

He watches you get up on stage, a walk so far from your usual, composed one because you too were happy..Your face is radiating even when from a distance. When you get the diploma, you turn your head to where he is, quickly scanning the area to look for him. When your eyes meet his, you break into the most beautiful smile he’s ever laid his on. 

He waves at you with a smile of his own. Fuck. He must have done something right in this life to deserve you. 

“Don’t cry here, Kuroo. You’re going to look like her father instead of her boyfriend,” Kenma says. He sniffs a bit and laughs when he remembers your antics before you two arrive at the place. “I wouldn’t mind being her daddy,” he answers back meaningfully, causing Kenma to glower.

“Ew.”

\--

“Oh my God. I’m exhausted!” You exclaim as you remove your heels when you enter his apartment. You two immediately went straight to his place after having your celebratory dinner with Kenma and Kuroo. You two have been sleeping at each other’s place interchangeably for quite a while now that you have some clothes and your necessities in his place and vice versa.

Before changing clothes, you plop yourself on his couch, resting your head on the back rest. You feel familiar fingers massager your temples. “You good?”

“Mmmhmm. Just tired.” His digits leave your head. You hear his footsteps go around the couch, the cushion shifting down with his weight when he gets there. He tenderly tugs your head to lean on his shoulder.

“Congratulations, kitten. I’m so proud of you” he whispers. You snuggle even closer to him, getting yourself lost in his comforting presence. “Thanks, Tetsu.”

You feel something in your lap which makes you flutter your eyes open. It’s a small red paper bag. You sit up straight and feign a glare at him. “I did tell you no gifts, right?”

“Yep, but since when have you been the boss of me?” You roll your eyes as you scoff at him. You take the paper bag off your lap and gently open it. You find a rectangular black leather box inside. 

“Ooh! Are these eyeglasses?” You ask eagerly. You’ve been whining non-stop that your eyes hurt from the amount of time you’ve been spending in front of your laptop. Damn, your boyfriend really is thoughtful.

“Uh huh. Go open it and lemme see if you look hot with it,” he smirks as he watches you take the black box inside. You open it and see no eyeglasses. What’s there is a key stuffed in the velvet cushion filling the empty space inside the box.

You look at him with a frown, confused as to what it means. He no longer holds that cocky expression in his face. He regards you lovingly, his eyes warm as he dotes you. “I bought a condo unit in Shibuya. Move in with me?”

You gawk at him, the word you want to say not coming out of your mouth from shock. You two didn’t have a problem with your set up. He’d sleep over at your place and you’d sleep at his place in turn. You were fine with that, but sometimes, it’d slip your mind how nice it would be if you wouldn’t have to take turns anymore, if you lived together. 

But you never told him that. It was just a thought that you pushed in the back of your head. You were content with your current set-up anyways. 

“A-are you sure?” 

He laughs softly. “Damn right, I’m sure.” He grabs your hand, covering it with his as he strokes your knuckles. “I don’t want to keep track of whose place we’re spending the night at. I want to wake up with your face next to mine on the same bed everyday. I want to go home knowing you’ll be there.”

You blink back the warm liquid in the corner of your eyes that’s threatening to surface. You have been exposed to many grandeurs and successes in life, but not any of those compared to the happiness you feel as he eyes you with pure rapture.

“Honestly, I would’ve asked you to marry me if only I’d met your parents already.” 

You smile through the tears that you failed to hold in. “Tetsu, you’re making me cry like an idiot on my own graduation day. Of course, I’d love to move in with you, duh,” you say before wrapping an arm around his neck and burying your face on his chest as you let the tears of joy flow peacefully.

He draws you away and wipes your tears with his thumb, the amorous look he had not leaving his face. “I’m serious though. I love you, y/n. I love you so much that I want you to be completely mine.”

You trail your hands up to his cheek and hoist yourself up to cover his lips with yours. You’ve shared many kisses with him, and among those thousand times your mouth meld against his, this feels different, special.

You pull away and return the earnest adoration he has with your own. “I already am, Tetsu. Just as you are mine.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
